RANDOM, FUNNY QUOTES




RANDOM/FUNNY

  1. "Never laugh at a clown with a gun." -- Anonymous
  2. "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That was you're a mile away and you have their shoes, too." -- Anonymous
  3. "The truth hurts, doesn't it Hapsburg? Oh, sure, maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing." -- Lt. Frank Drebin in Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
  4. "Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip...uh-huh, uh huh." -- Sesame Street
  5. "I buy women shoes, and they use them to walk away from me." -- Mickey Rooney
  6. "Your request for no MSG was ignored." -- fortune cookie
  7. "Holy Kleenex, Batman! It was right under our nose and we blew it." -- Robin
  8. "Insanity runs in my family...it practically gallops." -- Arsenic & Old Lace
  9. "Lorraine, my density has popped me to you (trying to say, 'My destiny has brought me to you')" - Marty McFly, Back to the Future
  10. "I'm like a bad penny. I always turn up." -- Indiana Jones in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
  11. "Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for a living." -- Jaime Escalante in Stand and Deliver
  12. "The meek may inherit the earth but they don't get into Harvard." -- Neil in Dead Poet's Society
  13. "A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip." -- Proverbs 19:13
  14. "I've got a whole bag of SHHH with your name on it." -- Dr. Evil in Austin Powers II
  15. "Sometimes a road less travelled is less travelled for a reason." -- Jerry Seinfeld
  16. "He's committed pesticide!!!" -- James and the Giant Peach
  17. "Well, I'm sure we can resolve this in a mature way. Right, Mr. Poopypants?" -- from Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
  18. "Aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?" -- from the movie Roxanne
  19. �Before TV, two world wars. After TV, zero.� -- American Broadcasting Company ad campaign
  20. �He saw the world as one big rolodex�� � friend of former President Reagan
  21. �If it wasn�t for pickpockets, I�d have no sex life.� � quote I heard somewhere
  22. �It�s about supply and demand. I have a demand for men and the supply is all gay.� - quote from my friend Michal
  23. �If you prefer high heeled shoes to women, it�s probably good for the economy.� � Professor Levenson, who teaches clinical psychology at UC Berkeley
  24. Real �Who Wants to be a Millionaire?� question�I�m serious: �Which of these is an odd number? (a) two (b) five (c) eight (d) Robin Williams
  25. �Do we have any yard sale people out there?�, �That doesn�t look like a standard-issue haircut, my friend.�, �Fiber is a word you might want to look into�that�s never happened before�since I derailed that Amtrak!�, and the last really funny thing the announcer at the Washington, D.C. capitol fourth fireworks celebration said
  26. �Jogging is very beneficial. It�s good for your legs and your feet. It�s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.� -- Snoopy
  27. "Count your chickens before they're hatched -- count them whenever you can." -- The Count from Sesame Street


....�more to come!


check out quotes I have overheard
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