THE CLASSIFIEDS

ACTUALLY TAKEN FROM REAL NEWSPAPER ADS

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN---89 CENTS/LB.
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NICE PARCHUTE.
NEVER OPENED, USED ONCE.
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OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB.
AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
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ALZHEIMER'S CENTRE PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER.
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1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB--$850/OFFER.
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COWS:  CALFS NEVER BRED....
ALSO, 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
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FOR SALE BY OWNER:
COMPLETE SET OF ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA.
45 VOLUMES
EXCELLENT CONDITION.
$1000.00 OR BEST OFFER.
NO LONGER NEEDED.
GOT MARRIED LAST WEEKEND.
WIFE KNOWS EVERYTHING
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FREE YORKIE TERRIOR.
8 YEARS OLD, HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
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FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
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FREE PUPPIES:
PART GERMAN SHEPARD
PART STUPID DOG.
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FOUND:
DIRTY LITTLE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT.
BEEN OUT A WHILE.
BETTER BE REWARD.
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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE.
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
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FULL SIZED MATTRESS FOR SALE
20 YR. WARRENTY.
LIKE NEW
SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
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HUMMELS.....LARGEST SELECTION EVER!!
IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT.
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