funbuttonwomen

1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.

2. Make yourself at home ! Clean my kitchen.

3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom ?

4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

5. Do I look like a freegin people person ?

6. This isn't an office....It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

7. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

8. I pretend to work.....they pretend to pay me.

9. If I throw a stick, will you leave ?

10. You ! Off my planet !

11. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap ! You choose.

12. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.

13. Bottomless pit of needs and wants.

14. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way !

15. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

16. Does your train of thought have a caboose ?

17. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

18. And your cry-baby, whiny opinion would be.....?

19. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

20. If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil.....

21. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

22. A PBS mind in an MTV world.

23. Allow me to introduce my selves.

24. Sarcasm is just one more service we have to offer.

25. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."

26. Better living through denial.

27. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

28. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

29. Adult child of alien invaders.

30. I'm just working here til a good fast-food job opens up.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

34. Here i am ! Now what are your other two wishes ?

35. Back off ! You're standing in my aura.

36. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

37. Don't worry, I forgot your name too !

38. Adults are just kids who owe money.

39. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong ?

40. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

41. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2 ?

42. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it ?

43. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

44. Chaos, panic and disorder....my work here is done.

45. Ambivalent ? Well, yes and no.

46. Earth is full. Go home.

47. Is it time for your medication or mine ?

48. I plead contemporary insanity.

49. And which dwarf are you ?

50. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

51. i thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

52. How do I set a laser printer to stun ?

53. Meandering to a different drummer.

54. I'm not tense, just terribly terribly alert.