These are a collection of my own and quite a few I've found around cyber space.....LAUGH
WHEN SOMEONE TAKES A SHOWER AND THE HAMPER IS OPEN BUT STILL I FIND ALL THEIR CLOTHES ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO IT!!!!
WHEN THE SAME DOG THAT YOU KEEP CHASING AWAY NEVER FAILS IN LEAVING A SURPRISE FOR YOU IN YOUR LAWN ON MOWING DAY.
WHEN YOU GET THOSE NEUCENSE CALLS FROM PEOPLE COLLECTING FOR SOMETHING AND YOU TELL THEM YOU'RE THE MAID TO GET RID OF THEM....NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE BECAUSE THE NEXT CALL YOU GET WILL BE SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTAND THAT LANGUAGE....LOL
WHEN YOUR CHILD WAKES YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO TELL YOU THEY HAD A BAD DREAM OF THE TOILET ATTACKING THEM WHILE THEY WENT PEE....YOU GO TO HUG THEM AND FIND OUT IT WASN'T A DREAM....ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT OF SCRUBBING WHILE THEY SLEEP IN YOUR BED, AND YOU HOPE IT'S NOT A RECURRING DREAM WHILE THEY'RE THERE.
WHEN I DO THE LAUNDRY AND HAVE TO PULL THE SOCKS THE RIGHT SIDE OUT.
WHEN YOU HAVE A HOUSE FULL OF MALES IN THE FAMILY.....INCLUDING THE DOG....AND YOU CAN NEVER FIND A SEAT THAT'S DOWN WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO REALLY BAD.
WHEN I JUST FINISHED MOPPING THE FLOOR AND SOMEONE COMES IN WITH THEIR FEET ALL WET FROM SPRAYING THE CEMENT, OUTSIDE, BAREFOOT......YOU TELL THEM TO WIPE THEIR FEET...THEY ANSWER, "BUT THEIR CLEAN".......SIGH......
WHEN YOUR NEIGHBOR LEAVES HIS GARBAGE NEAR YOUR DRIVEWAY, IN STEAD OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HIS YARD, AT THE END OF HIS.
HOW ABOUT THOSE EUROPEAN RELATIVES THAT STAY AT YOUR HOUSE AND FILL THE WASTE BASKET IN THE BATHROOM WITH USED TOILET PAPER BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF PLUGGING YOUR TOILET?????? REMOVAL OF THE WASTEBASKET FROM THE PREMISES IS MANDATORY!!!!!!!!!!
LIFE OUTSIDE:
IT'S ANNOYING WHEN SOMEONE KEEPS PRESSING THE BUTTON FOR THE ELEVATOR.....LIKE PUSHING IT WILL MAKE IT COME FASTER.
WHEN SOMEONE KEEPS TRYING TO PLAY THE DRUMS ON ANY SURFACE THEY FIND.....ONLY THEY CAN'T KEEP A BEAT.
WHEN SOMEONE'S FLASHERS ARE GOING AND THEY NEVER TURN.
WHEN YOU USE A PUBLIC WASHROOM AND THE PERSON BEFORE YOU HASN'T FLUSHED.
WHEN YOU'RE EATING AND THATS THE TIME SOMEONE DECIDES TO STARE.
WHEN YOU GO SHOPPING AND THE SALES PEOPLE KEEP HOVERING AND ASKING YOU IF YOU NEED ASSISTANCE.
OH, AND LET US NOT FORGET THAT SPECIAL RELATIVE WITH CHRONIC GASTRO PROBLEMS AND HE LEAVES HIS LITTLE SURPRISE NEAR A GROUP OF PEOPLE, THEN WALKS AWAY LEAVING THOSE POOR PEOPLE WONDERING WHICH ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS LET ONE FLY.
WHEN A FRIEND WANTS TO DRINK FROM YOUR POP CAN.
WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO SOMEONE AND THEY'RE LOOKING AT EVERYTHING ELSE BUT YOU.
WHEN YOU HAVE AN ITCH THAT'S JUST OUT OF REACH AND YOU ARE GETTING ON THE EXPRESSWAY.
WHEN SOMEONE ORDERS REALLY RICH FOODS AND THEN ASKS FOR A DIET POP.
