A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes by Angel of Music ([email protected]) Chapter 33 Nick surfed through the channels on the television once again and turned the set off with annoyance. He flipped on the radio and smiled as "Love Will Come To You" filled the room and he remembered back to the drive down to Kristy and Erin's parents. His smile faded and a wave of sadness washed over him as he thought about how different things were now between Kristy and Kevin. Nick was still lost in thought as Kristy reentered the room. Her face was pink from the heat of the bathroom and the long shower she'd taken to calm her nerves. Nick bit back a smile, noting how the girl before him in flannel lounge pants and a cotton tank top with her hair pulled back in a pony tail barely resembled the woman in the sexy black dress from earlier in the evening. It was times like this when Kristy looked more like someone Nick's age than Kevin's. Nick moved to turn the station, but stopped as Kristy shook her head. "It's fine, Nicky." Nick saw the sadness still in her eyes, but noticed that she seemed more composed. "Feel better?" Nick asked, hoping she'd been able to relax some. Kristy sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her lotion. "A little. I'm hoping a good night's sleep will help, though I think the only thing that will make any difference is a few thousand miles between me and Kevin." Nick frowned, but understood Kristy's mind-set. He knew that he didn't have that same option. He wasn't sure how he was going to get through performing and traveling with someone he'd lost respect for. That was one of the hardest things for Nick. Sure, he was angry at Kevin for treating Kristy this way, but more than that, he was disappointed. He'd always looked up to Kevin as an older brother and someone he wanted to emulate. He couldn't say that now. Kristy pumped a handful of vanilla lotion into her palm and worked it into the skin of her calves and feet as she and Nick sat in silence. She repeated the process on her arms, taking her time, massaging the fragrant cream into her hands. Nick glanced up as Kristy rolled her shoulders and let her head fall to one side, trying unsuccessfully to relieve some of her stress. Nick stood and moved to the bed, sitting behind her. "Here, let me." He brought his hands to her shoulders and began to massage the tense muscles. "My God, Kris, you're nothing but one big knot." Kristy didn't say anything as Nick's hands worked to relieve the tension that had built up over the last weeks. Her eyes drifted shut as she felt his fingers massage the cords in her neck and the base of her skull. Nick smiled as Kristy's head tilted back slightly as he applied pressure at her hairline and then ran his fingers down her neck back to her shoulders. She was relaxing somewhat and he knew this was what she needed. He reached for her lotion and put some in his hands and worked it into her shoulders and down her arms. He marveled at how soft her skin was as his hands continued to knead the muscles in her shoulders and upper back. �Strong hands.� Kristy felt Nick's hands working out the knots that seemed to be a permanent fixture in her body. �Gentle touch.� But he did it a way that soothed her frayed nerves. Kristy felt like she was separated from her body as she relaxed and leaned back against Nick. His hands continued their work, but Nick couldn't help but let his mind wander. Kristy's back was against his chest and his head was near her ear. The combination of her bath gel and now the vanilla lotion was tempting - but not as tempting as the woman in front of him. He knew she was in a vulnerable state, and while some men may have tried to use that to their advantage, Nick couldn't conceive of it. He valued Kristy's friendship too much. If anything was to happen, she had to want it too. "Kris?" he whispered softly against her ear. Kristy still felt unattached to her body. It was almost like she was looking down at herself as she watch her head turn slightly towards Nick's. Their eyes locked and Kristy saw Nick lower his head towards hers. "No," Kristy took control of her body again and pulled out of Nick's arms. "Nick, we can't... I can't." Even though she�d been hurt by Kevin, he was still the only one she wanted to be held and kissed by. Nick nodded, disappointed, but not surprised. "Yeah, I didn't think so." Kristy could see he was trying to act casual about it. As much as he came across as confident - even slightly arrogant at times - he still had a few insecurities. She cared about him very much and knew she had to be careful how she handled the situation. "Are we okay?" she asked, placing a hand on his arm. Nick nodded. "Of course. I'm just not used to rejection, that's all." Kristy giggled at the cocky grin on his handsome face and knew he was fine. "Good. Besides, what would 'teen God Nick Carter' do with an old lady like me?" she asked, using one of their nick-names for Nick when we got a little too full of himself. Nick raised an eyebrow and gave Kristy a devilish smile. "Oh, I'm sure I could've come up with a few - hundred - things." Kristy blushed and playfully smacked him in the arm as she shook her head. "Really, Nickolas, you need to stop hanging out with A.J. so much!" * * * * * Nick rose from the couch as he heard a soft rapping on the door. Kristy was in his bed, and although she was facing the window, he was certain he'd heard soft crying for a long time before she'd finally fallen asleep. He peered out the peephole and saw Erin standing in the hall. Nick had no sooner opened the door when Kevin stepped out from the hall. Nick scowled. "Dude, if you know what's good for you, you'll get out of my reach... or better yet, out of my sight." Kevin didn't budge. "I can't do that." Nick restrained himself from throwing a punch, knowing that although it would make him feel better, it wouldn't help Kristy any. He took a calming breath and moved to shut the door but Kevin stepped forward and forced it open. Kevin stood in the doorway and looked past Nick, searching the room. "Nick, I need to talk to her." "No way. Not after tonight." Nick turned to Erin who was still standing in the hall. "And you! You're supposed to be helping Kristy." "I am," Erin said simply, ignoring Nick's glare. Kevin moved to his left as Nick countered. He tried going to the right, but Nick followed. "Nick, don't make this any more difficult than it is." Nick quirked an eyebrow. "I'm sure as hell not going to make it EASY for you to break her heart again." Kevin was torn between frustration and pride - and pain. He knew Nick cared about Kristy a lot and had to admire his devotion. But he also had to admit he was a little unsettled about Nick's attachment to her. Nick been there for her when Kristy had needed him... when Kevin hadn't been. "Please, let me see her." Nick stood his ground, not letting Kevin into the room. "No. She's in bed... she's finally asleep." Kevin couldn't help the surge of jealousy that flared inside him. "If she's in your bed, where were you?" Nick wasn't going to lie to Kevin, but he wasn't going to make him too relaxed. "That's really none of your business." Kevin clenched his jaw, working to control his temper. He searched Nick�s expression, and relaxed some as he didn�t see a sign that anything had happened. "Nick, I know you two have become very close... and it�s partly my fault." "Partly? Try completely. If Kristy would rather be with me than you, the only person you have to blame is yourself." Kevin scowled. "Are you saying she�s �with� you?" Nick held Kevin�s gaze. "No, but if she was, I wouldn�t ever take her for granted. I would do anything to have someone like Kristy love me the way she loves you." Kevin�s eyes widened. "Did she say she still loves me?" Nick could see the hope in Kevin�s eyes and knew he and Kristy deserved another chance. He glanced at Erin and seeing her soft smile, realized she�d reached the same conclusion. He still didn�t understand why Kevin had been acting the way he had, but decided to trust him � and Erin � for now. "Honestly, Kev, she�s confused. She�s not sure how she feels about you or where you guys stand." He smiled slightly. "And she�s possibly one of the most stubborn people I�ve ever met � right up there with you." Kevin chuckled. "Just one more reason we�re perfect together. Let�s just hope that after this � assuming there is an �after this� � we don�t fight much." Erin and Nick gave him a sympathetic smile as they all realized there were no guarantees that Kristy would take him back. He had gotten past two of his biggest hurdles, but none of that mattered if Kristy didn�t forgive him. Nick let Kevin into his room and followed Erin to the common room so she could fill him in on the rest of the story. * * * * * Nick shook his head. "Sometimes it scares me how his mind works." Erin had finished telling Nick about Kevin�s reasoning for his actions and how much he still loved Kristy. The remained in the common room, hoping to be there if Kristy and Kevin emerged from Nick�s room � especially if the precarious couple needed their help. Erin giggled. "What do you expect? He�s a man... they never do things the easy way." "We�re not all like that." Erin quirked an eyebrow in a challenge. "You walk into the room and want to turn on the T.V., but can�t find the remote. Do you spend 5 minutes searching for it or do you take 5 seconds and walk over to the T.V. and push the power button?" Nick grinned sheepishly. "Okay, so we tend to make certain things more complicated than they need to be... but what about women? You have plenty of your own faults." "And you love us anyway!" Nick laughed. "Yeah... �cause we like complicated things!" * * * * * Kevin sat in an armchair near the window, watching Kristy sleep. Her breathing was deep and even, though occasionally she would take a shuddering breath � a sign that she�d fallen asleep crying. Kevin thought he might have been imagining it, but he would�ve sworn he saw the tear stains on her cheeks and a dampness on her pillow. She was curled up slightly, reminding Kevin of her posture in his bunk after Allen�s attack. The smooth, comforting voice of Tracy Chapman came over the radio and filled the room. Kevin listened to the words and let his mind replay the time since Kristy had come into his life. Sometimes he felt like he�d been waiting for her his entire life � only he was so busy with other things in his life that he hadn�t realized that he�d been missing something. Now that he�d found her, and known what it was like to love � and be loved by � her, he knew his life would be even emptier without her. If you wait for me Then I�ll come for you Although I�ve traveled far I always hold a place for you in my heart If you think of me If you miss me once in a while Then I�ll return to you I�ll return and fill that space in your heart He vividly remembered walking into the room at the Portland venue and seeing Kristy standing there, surrounded by his friends. His heart had been pounding and his palms were sweating... he�d prayed for the confidence to not appear as nervous as he was. When she�d turned to him, he�d felt like someone had taken all the air out of the room. From the very beginning of reading "Once" he�d been entranced with the woman in the story and wished there was such a person. When he walked into the meet-n-greet it hit him that not only was she real, but she was standing before him. Remembering... Your touch Your kiss Your warm embrace I�ll find My way Back to you If you�ll be waiting He watched Kristy move slightly in her sleep and realized how fitting it was that they were like this now. The last time he�d stayed up all night watching her sleep was when he�d come up with his plan to "protect" her. He�d known it was going to be hard, but he hadn�t known just how hard. He hadn�t counted on his every waking thought to be consumed by her or to see her and feel her in his dreams every night. If you dream of me Like I dream of you In a place that�s warm and dark In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart He watched her sleeping face, knowing how soft her skin felt when he caressed it, how silky her thick blond hair was under his fingers. His eyes drifted over long eyelashes laying gently on creamy cheeks, gently curved blond eyebrows � contributing to her expressive facial expressions so often � and full soft lips. Kevin thought back to the steamy, sensual kisses they�d shared that evening and felt his pulse race. But it was the sweet, gentle kisses that Kristy would initiate that filled his heart with warmth. Those kisses that spoke her love more loudly than any words ever could. Remembering... Your touch Your kiss Your warm embrace I�ll find My way Back to you If you�ll be waiting Had Kristy asked, he would have given up everything he had � even the Backstreet Boys � to be with her. He knew she would never consider asking him to do that, but Kevin knew without her, nothing else in his life meant anything. Right now, Kevin would�ve given anything for her to just smile at him. I�ve longed for you And I have desired To see your face, your smile To be with you wherever you are Remembering... Your touch Your kiss Your warm embrace I�ll find My way Back to you Please say you�ll be waiting He longed to lay next to her and hold her in his arms � to take away all her pain and sadness. And to have her arms around him, doing the same for him. He needed her. And he knew she needed him too. They�d waited this long to find each other... they couldn�t let it end. Together again It would feel so good to be In your arms Where all my journeys end If you can make a promise If it�s one that you can keep I vow to come for you If you wait for me And say you�ll hold A place For me In your heart A place for me in your heart A place for me in your heart A place for me in your heart Kevin continued to watch her, not realizing his vision had blurred from the tears in his eyes. She held his heart... he only hoped she still had a place for him in hers. Next: Chapter 34 -FanFics -Home