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Loves Lies Chapter 1 "Nick, we need to talk." Ashley said bravely pushing past him and walking in the house. He was surprised at her tone but knew exactly what she was talking about but he wasn't ready for this talk. Not now, he was leaving for the tour in two weeks and he wanted to be able to come home to her still loving him and everything fine but he knew right at this second it wasn't going to be that way anymore. "OK.....about what baby?" he replied trying to sound like he didn't know what she was talking about at all, wrapping his arms around her and gently placing a kiss on her cheek. He wasn't surprised when she pulled away but he tried to act the part. "What's wrong baby?" He asked trying to sound concerned. "Nick, you know good and well what the hell's wrong with me." Ashley screamed angrily trying to hold back the tears but she couldn't anymore. She sat on the couch and placed her head in her hands and began to sob like she never had before in her life. Nick ran over to her and sittingdown beside her as he placed his arms around her. She began to pull away but just gave up because she needed someone to hold her while she cried at this moment more than any moment. She wished he would just have never done this to her. I mean how can he love me and sleep with someone else she thought making herself cry even harder. She buried her face in his warm chest. She felt comforted but she knew he was probably thinking about someone else other than her. Damnit Nick why? She thought. Why would he do this or even think about it? Was it me? She strained at the thoughts and tried to get them out of her head but it was no use she just couldn't get all these thoughts out ofher head and she really needed answers as fast as she could get them. Nick held her in his arms as tight as he could while she cried. He just wanted to hold her and comfort her as much as he possibly could so she wouldn't cry anymore. He really hated seeing her like this but he knew it was all his fault she was like this which made him even more mad at himself. She cried so hard and he could feel the wetness from her hot tears running down his chest but he wasn't even thinking about that at all. All he was thinking was that he didn't want to see her like this very much longer because it was killing him. He felt it, deep down in his heart that this would be the last time he would hold her in his arms like this and that he was going to lose her because he knew he screwed up big this time. He regretted it so bad too, he would do anything to take it back but he couldn't and couldn't even believe he did it to her in the first place. He tightened up his grip around her waist as she began to sob even harder but after what seemed like not long enough to him she pulled away and looked up into his eyes, she knew that she loved him and she saw the love for her in his eyes but she knew she couldn't go through this anymore. As she opened her mouth she really didn't know what to say but she began to speak, "Nick, I can�t take this shit anymore, I just can't. I mean I know you love me but why do you do shit like this to me, will you please just tell me why? You know I love you more than anything and I know you love me but if it's love why would you do this to me?" she said sobbing even more as she turned away from him and pulled out of his embrace. She started walking away to leave because she really didn't want to hear any more excuses or lies from him, she just wanted out now. She suddenly stopped as she heard him pleading and crying. To hear him cry surprised her at first but she knew she couldn't forget about all this and it hurt her to think what was going to happen next but she knew it had to and that it was coming to this for a longtime now. "Ash, baby please don't do this. You know I can't live if I don't have you. He pleaded with all his heart as the tears began to fall. "Baby I love you, doesn't that count for anything anymore?" He felt the tears fall running down his cheeks more and more and he couldn't control it anymore so he stopped trying. He didn't even care that he was crying anymore, she was the only person he could cry over and not be embarrassed or try to hide it. He loved her so much and he was about to lose her forever. "Ashley please, I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry but I can't lose you, shit I love you more than anything and I can't even picture life without you in it." She quickly turned around with a questioning but serious look on her face as she looked at him."Is that what you tell her too Nick?" She said half yelling, half regretting that it even came out of her mouth but she really wanted to know. Nick felt a sharp pain like a knife going through his heart as he just took in all the way what she had said. He grabbed her hands but she pulled away. He grabbed them again this time not letting go as she squirmed to make him let her go. "Let me go Nick." He opened his mouth to begin to try to explain himself even though he didn't know where to start or what to say but he knew he had to tell her the truth and stop lying to her. "No Ash, look at me. Please just let me try ok?" "Nick...I....I can't you don't love me and I can't be with someone that doesn't love me. Just let me go. Please just let me go." she said as she turned away letting more tears come but he caressed her cheeks trying to find the right words to say. As she stared into his eyes looking for an answer she saw the confusion in his eyes "See you can't even tell me what's going on. If you love me don't I at least deserve...." she was cut off as he began to talk "Ash I know, I can't hide this anymore it's out and I shouldn't have lied to you about it let alone even did it but to tell you the truth about this I don't even know why the hell I did it. I'm so fucking pissed at myself and it's killing me to see you like this because of me. I know you don't believe me right now when I say that I love you and that I didn't mean to hurt you like this but I mean it with all my heart and I'm not lying to you." She suddenly turned around pulling totally out of his grip staring at him with all the anger there was she could surface in her eyes, "And you just expect me to believe what you say now, just like that? Damn Nick you've lied to me for two fucking weeks now that you weren't with her ever and now you just expect me to believe that you love me because you're sorry for doing it? I can't do that and you know it. Nick a relationship has to have trust and this one is over" she yelled as she ran out of the house not even looking back at all. Nick tried to stop her but there was no use he lost her forever and all he could do was drop on his knees and cry and yell at himself for what he did. He was so determined to do everything he could to make this up to her and try to get her back. He loved her and needed her more than anything.........Next: Chapter 2 |