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Lights Chapter 1 When the lights go down in the City and the sun shines on the bay I want to be there in my City... I stood on the balcony, warm breeze in my hair, watching the golden sun sink below Mediterranean blue. Warm strong hands fell on my shoulders and I blinked my eyes to hold back tears. "It�s beautiful." Nick murmured in my ear. "Yeah." I agreed in a choked voice. He spun me around so I was facing him. "What�s wrong?" "Nothing." I lied, refusing to meet his searching gaze. "It is too something. Look at me." Nick ordered gently. I looked up into his blue eyes and knew that I couldn�t hide anything from him. Tears filled my eyes. "You miss Seattle don�t you?" So you think you�re lonely. Well my friend I�m lonely too. I want to go back to my City by the bay. "Yeah." I nodded, tears spilling down my cheeks. Nick brushed them away softly with his thumb. His skin was warm on mine. That gesture made me cry harder, dreading what I knew I had to tell him. "Shh." Nick soothed, pulling me against his chest. I clung to the fabric of his shirt. "It�ll be okay. I miss Tampa so much sometimes it hurts. But it�ll be okay. We have each other." This made me cry harder. "No, we don�t." I sobbed. Nick pulled away from me for a moment, confused. "What? Of course we do! I�m here aren�t I?" I sighed. "Yes Nick, you are." "Then what�s wrong?" he queried with concern in his voice. "It�s not enough." I told him. "What do you mean? Why isn�t it enough?" Nick was beginning to get upset now. I hated doing this to him. I shook my head wearily. "It�s just not. I need to go home Nick. I need to go home now. I can�t do this anymore." "You don�t love me anymore." Nick accused, glaring at me. "No!" I insisted, my insides tearing. "I DO love you, but it�s not enough. Don�t you understand?" I pleaded with him. "No. I don�t." Nick said coldly, turning and walking away. I sunk to the floor, sobbing. I couldn�t explain to him. If I could change the way I felt I would, but there was no way I could. I loved him with my whole heart, mind and soul, but my homesickness was an illness. I couldn�t do anything without being hit by it. Several hours later found my lying on my bed staring up sightlessly at the ceiling. I heard the door open and close, but made no move to see who it was. In a way I already knew. "Heather?" Nick asked softly. I made no response and he sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you awake?" "Yeah." I murmured almost inaudibly. Nick sighed. "I�m sorry, baby." He whispered, brushing my forehead softly with his lips. I closed my eyes. "Oh Nick." I whispered, melting at his touch. "I don�t want to leave you, but I have to. I�m not ready for this yet." My voice wavered. "Shh." Nick hushed me. "It�s okay. I understand. I don�t want you to leave, but I understand that you have to." "Tomorrow morning." I told him. Nick nodded. "I know." He went to stand, but I held onto him. "Stay with me. Just hold me tonight. Please." I pleaded. Nick lay next to me wrapping his arms around my waist. I snuggled against him, feeling at peace for the first time in months. I closed my eyes and listened to him breath. No clouds marred the brilliant blue of the sky as I watched out the plane window. I knew Nick wouldn�t be there. He and the group had left earlier for another city. A pit settled in my stomach, wondering if love was enough to hold us together. The city got smaller below me and a single tear coursed down my face. I hoped I was doing the right thing. It�s sad, oh there�s been mornings out on the road without you, without your charms... |