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All I Have To Give Chapter 8 �Mom? Dad?� I called walking through my house late the next morning. �Yeah Sweetie?� I heard my mom�s voice come back. �Can I talk to you two?� I asked walking into the den where she was reading. Luckily, my dad was in there too. �Sure, what�s up?� my dad asked putting the newspaper down. �Um, I�ve been thinking about this for a long time, and�� I looked at them both really quickly, �I�ve decided to break up with Bret,� I finished in a rush. �What? Why?� my mom asked. �Because I�m not happy when I�m with him, we don�t care about each other anymore, we hardly even have a relationship, and last night he truly hurt me.� �What happened?� my dad asked so I went into another detailed story about what happened, just as I had told Nick the night before. When I finished I was almost in tears again. �Ah, honey, I�m so sorry,� my mom said sympathetically coming and sitting next to me on the couch. �Why didn�t you tell us all this before? Why have you stayed with him this long?� �Because you both like him so much and he helps us out.� �Well, yes we do like him, but if he�s like that with you, dragging you to places you don�t want to go and never going places that you want to go to, you should have left him a long time ago. All we want is for you to be happy,� my dad said firmly. �That�s what Nick�s always telling me.� �Nick? Nick Carter? Weren�t you both friends when you were young?� my mom asked confused. I nodded. �Yep, we�ve been best friends since we were 7, I�m at their house all the time. That family is like my second family. They�re like my brothers and sisters. I love them all lots. That�s where I�ll be Saturday, at a traditional Carter Bar-B-Que. Actually, I never thought you two would want to come, but do you? You could meet Jane and Bob, they�re really, really nice and you could meet all the other important people in my life.� �We�d love to!� my mom exclaimed. �Really?� I had never thought my parents would want to go to a place like that. Jane and Bob were really wild and outgoing. My parents were more reserved. �Of course. Also, I know you think we�re a lot worse than we are on that money issue than we are. We�re not in debt anymore, we don�t have a lot on hand, but your father got a raise a month or so ago, and we�re making money. It won�t be long before you�ll be able to go out and shop with your friends and be able to buy things. We haven�t needed Bret like we used to for awhile.� I sighed a huge sigh. �Oh thank God. That was one of the main reasons I�ve stayed with him for awhile.� �Hun, I never want you to make yourself unhappy for us. This Nick sounds like a smart guy who cares for you and also wants you to be happy.� �Well, I love him like a brother, I love all the Carter�s like family.� �Isn�t he a singer in a group? Back-something?� I nodded. �Yup!� I said proudly. �He�s in the Backstreet Boys. They�re one of the top selling groups. Aaron Carter, his younger brother, is also a pop singer. Plus, BJ Carter, the oldest girl, is a model in Europe and has been in a few music videos.� �Really? So an entertainment family.� �Yeah, it�s hectic over there sometimes, but it�s a lot of fun.� �Now when�s this get together?� �It�s next Friday, so today�s Wednesday, so 9 days away. I�ll be over there all day the day before and probably that day helping set up, but I�ll come home to get you guys since you probably don�t know where the house is.� We all talked for awhile longer, but I knew I needed to call Bret. �I need to go call Bret,� I said slowly. �Okay Hun, I�m glad you finally came out to this,� my dad said smiling at me. �Thanks Dad, I love you both.� I walked up the stairs, slowly, I was nervous. I didn�t know how he�d react. Would he be heartbroken? Crushed? Happy? Excited? Sad? I had no idea and that�s what I was afraid of. I shut my door and dialed slowly. �Hi Miller, may I speak with Bret?� I asked when the Butler answered. A little later, �Hello? Bret speaking.� �Hey Bret, it�s Shelby.� �Hi.� �Um,� I took a deep breath. �I�m really sorry, but I don�t think our relationship is working out. I think we should break up.� �Huh? Why?� I moaned inside, he didn�t sound like he felt the same way. �I hate to be blunt, but I�m not happy with you anymore. I don�t feel like you feel the same way about me. You always tell me where we�re going and that I have to go. I hate those banquets, they are so boring, but you always made me go, and you never went anywhere I wanted to go. Then the other day, you canceled the date for some business, then you told me to cancel something important for us right after you put something ahead us. I feel like your reputation and where you�re seen and who you�re with is more important to you than me and what I feel. So, I think we should break up.� �I thought we were in love.� �I don�t think we were. I think we were in the beginning, but soon it was�I dunno, like we felt like we were supposed to be together or something. Like that�s what was expected.� �Oh.� �I�m sorry Bret.� �Me too,� then he hung up. I burst out crying. Even if I didn�t love him, he�d always have a special place in my heart. He was my first love. I had been told many times you never forget or get over your first love and I don�t think I ever will. I thought when I broke up with Bret, I�d feel good, not about breaking up with him, but about being free again. Wrong. I felt like someone had just stuck a knife in my heart and twisted. I knew I loved him, but not in the same way that I used to. I knew I was going to have to go through that post-relationship stuff my friends had gone through and I had read in books and seen on TV. Until that Saturday I didn�t go out a whole lot, but I�m not saying I clammed up in my room and wasn�t seen for those whole three days. I did get out, but not nearly as much as I usually was. I figured BSB was really busy since they had more time off coming up, so they were trying to cram a lot more work into a short amount of time because he didn�t call much. Actually, only once, on Friday. He apologized for not calling, they were busy, but I totally understood. Somehow, I had always understood his career, knew the demanding schedule, knew it was very, very important for him, and didn�t have a real hard time accepting how he was gone a lot. On Sunday, my grandparents dropped by unexpectedly and told us they were staying until Tuesday. Whoa. I was kinda happy, but they didn�t live very far away and I saw them a lot, but it was still good to see them. My immediate family had never had close ties to extended family, but we stayed in touch and all that. Sunday night, we all stayed up late telling each other what had been happening since we last saw each other. I told them all about Bret, and they actually said I did the right thing and it was totally normal to feel how I was feeling even though I didn�t think I would. Wow, grandparents know way more than I thought. On Monday, we all just kinda lazed around the house and did nothing. I tanned in our backyard, and thankfully got a nice, even tan. I watched a few movies in the den, and impatiently wished either Wednesday or Friday would hurry up and get here. Tuesday, they wanted to see Ruskin, so we all walked around town, and showed them all the spots. We went to the mall, but didn�t stay long. My grandma said it made her mad how young kids were growing up and how morals were different from her day�and got into one of those long, boring, old people stories. We walked around town since it would take longer, and it was a beautiful day, not very hot or humid, so everyone was opening up their houses and being outside. They left that evening, and my parents and I stayed up really late that night, almost until dawn, having one of those talks that kids and their parents don�t get very often. We talked about any and everything. When I finally went to sleep, I was exhausted, so I slept until 3 the next afternoon. I slowly got ready for the day, because I knew Nick wouldn�t get home until late that night and I wouldn�t get to see him until the morning, at least I usually didn�t, but I wanted the day to go fast. I made some cookies, watched some MTV, watched yet another movie, until it was finally dark. I looked at my watch, 10:30. I looked out at the ocean which wasn�t too far and saw it was a beautiful night. �Mom, Dad, I�m going to the beach, be back later,� I called as I threw on a jacket and walked out to the sand. I walked along, letting the ocean wash over my feet. I breathed in the salty, yet relaxing smell of the ocean that I loved, and let the wind blow through my hair. I stopped suddenly when I heard something, ��but my love is all I have to give�� very distant. I squinted my eyes and saw a little figure quit a ways down the beach. The wind was heading towards me, so that�s why the sound had been carried so far. After walking a little closer, I saw recognizable blonde hair, and I knew it was Blondie. I was so happy, it was all I could do from running up and hugging him. I walked closer and closer to him until I was right behind him and happily listening to his beautiful voice. ��but my love is all I have to give, without you I don�t think I could live, I wish I could give my world to you, but love is all I have to give�to you.� He stopped and looked down at the sand. �I swear, Nick Carter, you have the voice of an angel,� I said. He jumped and spun around. �Shelby!� he yelled jumping up and we hugged, and hugged, and hugged like we hadn�t seen each other in years. That�s how it was every time he came home, no matter if he was gone for many months, or just for a few weeks. �I missed you sooooo much Blondie!� �I missed you more Brat!� �No you didn�t!� We laughed as we sat on the sand next to each other. �You happy to be home?� I asked, then answered my own question, �Duh. Sorry.� �How you been?� he asked gently. I looked down. �Alright.� I laughed softly. �Lonely, lately.� �I wish so, so much I could have been here. I�m sorry.� �No, don�t apologize. You�re job is a once in a lifetime opportunity and with your talent, you need to show it to the world. So don�t apologize for not being here.� I laid down in the sand with my hands behind my head and I felt Nick lay down in the same fashion next to me. �Beautiful, huh?� I asked referring to the ocean. �Yeah,� I heard him murmur. We just laid there silently in each other�s presence for awhile, enjoying the scenery and great weather. �What time did your flight get in?� I asked awhile later. �Not too long ago. I missed the ocean, so right after I said hi and gave everyone hugs I came straight out here.� �I think you�re magnetically connected to the ocean somehow,� I joked. I looked over at him and into his crystal clear eyes that I had looked in to for reassurance so many times. I saw that familiar twinkle and mischievous glint that was always there. But, something happened. I felt something. �No, no, no, no, no, no, no!� I yelled at myself over and over and over. �You can absolutely NOT like your bestest friend in the world! You�ve been friends for 10 years! Nothing�s different now! So STOP!� I smiled and looked down. �You gonna come over tomorrow morning and help with the decorations and all that?� Nick asked. I nodded. �Yup. Help cook, all that. I�ll probably be over early, I bet you won�t even be awake.� �Bet I will.� �Bet you won�t. You never wake up the day after you get back from work.� �This time�s different. There�s gonna be people there.� �Since when am I people? I�ve been there tons of times while you were asleep. What�s different now?� He shrugged. �I dunno, but will you come wake me up if I�m asleep when you get there?� �Sure, I guess. If ya want me to.� �Thanks, I don�t want to be asleep when everyone else is up and around.� �Okay, then you�ll be able to help Aaron and I clean out the pool.� He made a face. �On second thought�� �Nope, I�m waking you up to help.� �Oh, okay,� he said making a sad face. �Oh poor baby,� I said mockingly. �I know.� I laughed and lightly hit his arm. But this time, he hit me back, so I hit him, which started a hitting war. He got up and started running away, so I got up and chased him. One thing I loved about deserted beaches, miles of beach where nothing�s in your way and you have plenty of room. It took me about 30 yards to get kinda close to him. I didn�t have any shoes on, so I was running quietly, and I think he thought I wasn�t running anymore, so he stopped and turned around. I was right behind him, and his eyes got huge. He turned around to run some more, but I jumped on his back and he fell to the ground. We rolled around a bit (nothing sick!) and soon untangled our arms and legs and lay on the sand catching our breaths. He turned to me after a little while and propped up on his elbow holding his head in his hands. �I�ve missed doing stuff like that. We used to play around like that all the time when we were little.� �I know. I kinda forgot about it. Ya know what?� �What?� �I need some more recent pictures of you. I don�t have very many recent ones. I have a million of you when we�re 10 or so when I went through that �I want to take a picture of everything� phase, but since then, I think I have, maybe two rolls. I�m gonna bring a camera tomorrow, and Friday. I want lots and lots of pictures of everyone.� He groaned. �No Girl!� �Yes Boy!� I copied him. �Only if I can get some pictures of you too.� I sighed dramatically and pretended to be putting up with something huge. �Oh fine!� He laughed. I looked at my watch then. 11:45. �Holy!� I shot up. �It�s 11:45 and as far away from home I am it�ll be past midnight if I run the whole way home.� We started running back and I asked, �Why were you so far away from your house by yourself just sitting there?� �I dunno, I guess I was pretty far, huh?� �Yeah!� �I guess I started walking and just plopped down.� I laughed. We used to run long ways on the beaches when we were little, so I guess I still had some of that practice in me because we soon got to his house, well, not soon, but I wasn�t as tired as I thought I would be. I gave him a quick hug and we both said night, and he reminded me to wake him up, then I looked at my watch again. It had taken us 11 minutes to run to his house. I took off as fast as I could towards my house, but when I got to our porch, gasping for breath, it was 12:04. �Oh God,� I breathed sinking down on the porch steps. I slowly crept inside and locked the house up. I went up to my room and got changed into my pj�s but I knew this may be a little sleep night, I had lots of thinking to do on brand new things that had come up that night.Next: Chapter 9 |