Waiting outside there
Grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided
Why should I care?
Cause you weren't there
When I was scared
I was so alone
You, You need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip
And I'm in this thing alone
-Avril Lavigne
�Oh, huh?� She quickly closed the window on the laptop she was using.
Erica eyed her younger sister. Jaz squirmed under her suspicious eyes.
�Who's laptop?�
�Mine.�
�Since when?�
Her glowing face lit up the room. �Since Mama brought it for me last night. How cool is that?�
Erica nodded her head, giving her sister the awaiting approval. She bit her lips to keep any sarcastic remarks from leaving her mouth. �Lemme see.�
�Invasion of privacy,� Jaz whistled to her herself, handing the laptop to her sister.
�Shut up. You don't even know what that means.�
�Yeah, huh. Cuz Justin told me.�
�Justin? Anyone I know? That kid down the hallway?�
�No. That Justin,� Jaz beamed, pointing to the Nsync sticker she'd slapped on the laptop earlier that day.
�Jaz,� Erica sighed, rolling her eyes.�What have I told you about lying?�
�But I'm not!�
�I mean it's great that you met them and all.....�
�I'm not telling a story this time!� Jaz yelled at her sister. �I'm not always lying.� She opened the window she had closed when Erica had entered.
�See? That's even an e-mail from him. He said we can even go do stuff together. Maybe even go to Chuck E. Cheese.�
Erica's mouth formed the shape of an 'O'. �My bad.�
�Yeah, that's what I thought,� she scowled, playing with her sister.
�Are you gonna play all day or are we gonna dance? I don't have all day.�
�Why are you in such a bad mood? PMS?�
�No. I got a headache.�
�I got a headache.� �Jaz, stop. I ain't playing.�
�Jaz, stop. I ain't playing.�
�Leave me alone!�
�Leave me alone!�
�I'm gonna tell!� Erica whined.
Jaz laughed. �Who you gonna tell? Mama?�
�Hey. Watch your mouth!�
"What? I didn't say anything bad."
"Mama. Not every egg donor is your mama."
Jaz rolled her eyes, letting that statement pass. Se sighed and closed her eyes. She let her head hit the pillow with a grimace on her face.
"Hey," the older girl whispered, becoming serious."What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she sniffled.
"Jaz? Was it because of what I said?"
The little girl shook her head,"No. My meds are running out."
"Aww, sweetie. Do you want me to get Dr. Daniels?"
"No," she sighed, biting her lower lip. "But this has got me so mad."
"What?"
"All I can do is lay in this bed, full of pain and think. And when I do, my life really sucks. If it wasn't for me, Mama and Daddy would still be together and you wouldn't be so mad at the world. You'd actually have a life for once."
"Jaz, listen. You are not the reason for them splitting up. They were miserable together."
"I know. But it doesn't help the way I feel."
"I know, sweetie."
"And the really mess up thing is if I wasn't sick, I would've never met Nsync. I know you promised to take me to the concert before I...y'know, but I don't expect you to actually do it. And that 's okay. But I guess I'm just pissed about how things go. How so much would be different if I wasn't sick."
Unable to hold back the tears, Jaz let them fall freely, sobs escaping her throat. Erica swallowed her own cries, trying to be brave for her baby sister.
"I'm...um, I didn't know you felt that way, sweetie."
"N-no...one knew," she choked out. "I'm sorry for...saying pissed."
"It's okay," Erica smiled, squeezing her sister into a sweet embrace.
For a while, they stayed that way. Playing off the strength of the other.
Jaz sniffled, backing up from the hug. "Rica?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Will you spend the night ere? It can be like a sleep over and everything."
"A sleep over in a hospital? You're definitely too weird to be my sister."
She giggled."Leave me alone."
Erica smiled, seeing her sister happier tan the moments before. "If you can talk to Nurse Kerri about getting a roll-away bed, then yeah."
"Cool!"
"And we can eat junk food and just veg in front of the tube."
"Like old times."
"What old times? You're only eight years old. You're too young to have 'old times'."
"Whatever. You know what I meant," Jaz rolled her eyes, sticking her tongue out at the older girl.
Erica did the same and giggled. Se got of the bed, but not before placing a peck on Jaz's forehead. She grabbed her purse.
"Where you going'?"
"To get junk food, silly. We're gonna need it."
Jaz smiled,"okay."
Erica waved, walking out of the door, She kept thinking of the things Jaz had just told her. She didn't realize she had bumped into someone until she fell to the ground.
"Erica," the voice whispered to her.
She froze. She slowly looked up into chocolate eyes.
"Leave me alone."
"But, sweetie," Ann started, standing up.
Erica rose to her feet."I don't want to talk to you."
"I just wanted you to know I'm sor-"
"Don't you even try apologizing mother." Erica's fists clenched by her sides.
"We need to try to get along. For Jaz's sake at least."
"Stop, mom. Okay? Just stop. I don't have time to argue with you,"
Erica spoke through gritted teeth. She turned to walk away.
"I've been trying to reach your father."
Se stopped and turned to look into those hopeful eyes."What?"
"Yeah. He says he won't come. His daughter is dying and he won't come to see her! That selfish bastard. All because he's afraid he might have to see me! Can you believe that?"
She smirked. "Actually, yeah. I can. I understand is reasoning behind it."
Ann's jaw dropped. "Erica!"
Erica continued to chuckle."You didn't give her the laptop, did you?"
"How did you know? You didn't tell her, did you?"
"I knew because A0 You don't ave any money to buy anything, let alone get a laptop. And B) Daddy's company logo's on it. And no, I didn't tell her? Why tell her that you're a liar and screw up her life even more?"
"You need to learn how to respect others, Erica. I know good and well-"
"You get what you dish out."
"Erica! I am your mother!" Ann yelled at her.
"No, Ann," she seethed. "You lost that title a long time ago."
No longer able to just stand there, Erica ran out of the hospital, to her car. cranking it up, she did a burn-out, never looking back. she never did return for the sleepover.
Chapter 3