| The jokes almanac |
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| A good collection of jokes |
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| Back home |
| MALAYALEE JOKES What do you call an amazing Malayalee? - Pheno Menon. What do you call a dashing Malayalee? - Debo Nair. What do you call a Malayalee drunkard? - Kutty Sark. Why do they require 5 people for a Malayalee funeral? Four to carry the coffin and one person to carry the two-in-one. Why did the Malayalee cross the road? To join the trade union on the otherside. |
| .TAMIL JOKES Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan? Comepalakrishnan. What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy ? Subramanium Didn't See Me. How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu? Ready....Steady.....PO What do you call a really colourful Tamilian? Rangamannar Rangarajan. How does a Tamilian introduce the tennis superstar Lendl? Ivan Lendl (Ivan is 'he' in Tamil). What is the Tamil name for the tallest building in Japan ? Nikkumo Nikkado (Will it or wont it stand?) What is the difference between Kunikudi Vaidyanathan and Gandhiji ? One is a voilanist, the other is a non-violanist ! |
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| Mom's Affair A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her romps. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet. The little boy says, "It's dark in here." The man whispers, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$250." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together. Boy - "It's dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." Man - Remembering last time, asks, "How much?" Boy - "$750." Man - "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "It's dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!" |
| Top 10 slogans being considered by Viagra: 10. The quicker picker upper! 9. One a day, like iron! 8. Get a piece of the rock! 7. You've come a long way, baby! 6. It plumps when you take 'em! 5. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman! 4. Tastes great, more filling! 3. Viagra, built ram tough! 2. Here's the beef! And the number one slogan being considered by Viagra: 1. Just do her! Some honorable mentions: **We work harder, so you don't have to **Ten inches long...and growing! **Viagra, when it absolutely positively has to be there tonight! **Viagra, home of the Whopper! **Viagra ? now is a great time to be silver. **This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions? |
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| A travelogue... read it |
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| Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all it is already built. Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands.(Good 1 na?) Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. He sleeps at night. Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. Wet. (sorry abt this) Q. What looks like half apple? A. The other half. Q. What can you never eat for breakfast? A : Dinner. Q. What gets wet with drying? A. A towel. Q. What happened when the wheel was invented? A. It caused a revolution. Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish? A. Because it has its own scales. Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state? A : Liquid Q: what is the opposite of Nagpanchmi? A: Nag did not punch me. (This is an old 1) Q: Now what is the inverse of Nagpanchmi? Come on.. A: I punched the Nag. (This is a new 1, ain't it?) Q: Chintu's mom has three sons. What is the name of the other two? A: Chin-1 & >Chin-3 (Maaf karna, this was the worst 1!) |
| Jugnu Singh sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing! What they are doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on Jugnu Singh: What do they get from that? Bystander: The winner will get a prize. Jugnu Singh: Then why are the others running?! +++++++ Jugnu Singh: I was born in Punjab. Harpal Singh: Oh really, which part? Jugnu Singh: All of me, silly. +++++++ Jugnu: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of. Harpal: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers. ++++++ Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. �Is this one one one one?,� says the voice. �No, this is eleven eleven.� �Are you sure it isn't one one one one?� �No, this is eleven eleven.� �Well, wrong number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have woken you up in the middle of the night.� �That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.� |
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