2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
2American men and 1 American woman
2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
One month later...
On this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following has occurred:
-- One Italian man killed the other Italian man for
the Italian woman.
-- The two French men and the French woman are
living happily together in a "menage a trois".
-- The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
-- The two Greek men are sleeping with each other
and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them
-- The Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.
-- The Irish began by dividing up their island, Northside and Southside, and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters ofcoconut whiskey, but at least the English are not getting any.
-- The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide while the American woman keeps on talking about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining
....AND...
--The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to
introduce them to the Indian woman.
Dear Mum and Dad:
It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been
remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not
having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before
you read on,please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU
ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!
Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture
and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory
when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now.
I only get those sick headaches once a day.
Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by
an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who
called the fire department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the
hospital and since I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out
dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to be
married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but it will be before
my pregnancy begins to show.
Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grrandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and
give it the love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a
child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests
and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am taking daily. I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the village in Africa from which he came.
Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there
was dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture.
I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged. I
do not have syphillis. However I have a 'D' in History and an 'F' in
Science and I wanted you to see those marks in the proper perspective.
Love,
Your Loving Daughter
sardarji's mum to the sardarji
Pyaarey puttar,
Vahe Guru.
I'm writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.
I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they wouldn' t have to change their address.
This place is really nice.It even has a washing machine,situated right above the commode.
I' m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took bahu to our club's poolside.The manager is a badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club.We were confused as to which piece should we remove? Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jatinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time.
Nothing much has happened.
Love Mom.
P.S : I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
