Only one word describes my INSPIRATION.. and it is "GOD"... Through out life.. many people tend to run to other materialistic wonders of this world.. getting trapped in what I believe is evil.... things.. such as getting high, getting drunk.. and blah blah... but in life... I have come to realize.. that even through my state of depression.. through my state of stress.. and my state of lonliness.. it was only the LORD who was able to stop me from hurting not only the people who loved me.. but stopped me from hurting myself as well... I admit.. I have gone through stages where I felt.. no one cared for me... that all my friends were starting to abandoned me.. that no one loved me.. and I just wanted to just KILL myself... and dont lie.. there had to be a POINT in YOUR life also when u felt that way.. admit it.. even if it was just a one second thought.. you know you've gone through the same situation...but then.. for some good reason... my eyes starting invisioning the positive side of this uncivilized world... instead of the negative... I started seeing what it was that GOD blessed us with.. and WHO he blessed us with.. I started to realize that... with out my friends and family.. I woulda have been dead by now.. without them to have been there to support me through good times and bad.. I would have been .. iono.. but I kno it would have been bad... and then I realized.. my state of depression was just a trial the LORD was putting me through to test my faith in him... and yes.. as I got more stressed.. more depressed.. more lonesome.. my faith in him slowly washed away... but then right at the point where I was about to reach rock bottom... it was then when I started to see the light.. the joy.. the love.. everything I've tried to push away.. just come back to me... and It was a feeling you can only feel when you're faith in the LORD revives.. a feeling just as it is when you take a deep breath after a Hards work done.. a feeling of.. a feeling of... a feeling of Love? I suppose.. And now I can honestly say.. my life has changed... not physically where you can tell I've changed.. but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually... being closer to the LORD has opened up my eyes to see that The lord did not just bless me with a life to love... but also blessed me with love to live with... and that is why I am ever so thankful.. |
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