Title: Then and Now
Author: Kat, a.k.a. KallieRose
E-mail: [email protected]
Rating: NC-17 eventually, PG for now
Pairing: Willow/Angelus
Disclaimer: I acknowledge Joss Whedon as god of gods. All the characters in this story are his creation, along with Fox, the rest of the Mutant Enemy Crew, and whomever else wants to lay claim to them. I'm merely killing time by putting them in totally unrealistic situations :-)
Summary: Angelus takes an interest in Willow, in order to tick off Buffy.  But it doesn't quite turn out the way he expects it to.
Spoilers: Spoilers for season 2 Buffy
A/N:  A huge thanks to Gabrielle and Lisa for all their help and support.  Without the help and encouragement of these two wonderful ladies this story would probably just be stuck inside my demented little head./

Then and Now

Part 1

The first rays of the morning sun streamed through the window, waking the small redhead in the twin bed. Willow peered at the window, her eyes scrunching in an attempt to dim the stark intensity of the bright light. She had always loved mornings, but over the last couple of years she had discovered new reasons for welcoming them: they signaled the end of the night; the end of the darkness.

And this morning, more than ever before, she was grateful that the sun was shining. Because last night her friend Angel had tried to kill her.

Oh, she knew that he wasn't Angel anymore. She had read the Watchers Diaries, knew about the curse, and all that went with it. And now, thanks to Buffy, the curse was lifted off of Angel's shoulders, and settled firmly onto the rest of them. They were cursed with the knowledge that someone who had once been a friend, was now a mortal enemy, intent on torturing and killing them all. The weight of it was like a hand squeezing her chest, leaving a constant hurt and a lingering fear. 

She shivered slightly, her body closing in upon itself, as she thought about the way that he'd held her last night. The words that he'd said aloud echoed in her mind: how her fear was such a turn-on. And then the words he had whispered seductively in her ear, right before he had faded into the darkness: 'I'll be back for you later, my little flame. Be ready.'

Nobody knew about that last bit. In their struggle to get her away from Angel--Angelus, she reminded herself sharply, they had failed to notice the look of stunned horror on her face. Or maybe they had noticed it, but just chalked it up as a reaction to what she had just experienced. It certainly was fitting. Either way, they were oblivious. And that suited Willow just fine. Everyone had much worse things to worry about than Angelus' attempts to scare her.

Willow was certain that that was all it was, too. Angelus was playing a game, attempting to hurt Buffy any way he could. She just happened to be a convenient pawn; in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was the story of her life.

And on top of everything else, today was a school day.

Willow watched from behind her computer as Buffy entered the library. The day had been hectic, and she and Buffy hadn't had a chance to talk privately at all. Now, as the school emptied out after a long day, they would finally have a chance to reconnect and talk.

Her eyes widened as she took in her friend's appearance. Everything about Buffy screamed 'devastated.' She slouched into the room, moving listlessly and without purpose. Her usually bright eyes were dull and lifeless, and rimmed with red, as if she'd shed many tears during the night.

'Poor Buffy,' Willow thought. As bad as things were for the rest of them, it was even worse for the slayer. The man that she loved was gone forever, destroyed by her and the manifestation of their love. Buffy stopped in the center of the room, eyes roaming restlessly, looking for who knew what. Willow got up and enveloped her friend a hug, whispering words of comfort to her as the blond broke down and cried in her arms.

"That's it, let it all out," Willow advised comfortingly, as she led Buffy to the chair next to hers. Giles and Xander were nowhere to be found, so it was just the two of them. Cordelia had mentioned something about 'coming by later to check on the losers,' but Willow hadn't taken that as a firm commitment, and doubted that the popular cheerleader would join them any time soon. 

"What am I going to do, Willow?" the hopeless girl asked. "He's gone, he's really gone. And it's all my fault. Well, not *all* my fault. Ms. Callendar has a lot to answer for," she said, her mood changing quickly from sadness to self-righteous anger. "I can't believe she lied to us all, making us think that she was our friend when all the while she was spying on us."

Willow knew that her friend and her mentor would not be getting along anytime soon. And although Ms. Callendar had kept some rather big and important secrets from them, Willow didn't think she had done it out of spitefulness. She had just been torn between her duty to her family and her new friends. The young teacher was miserable right now, and Willow did feel a little sorry for her.

"Buffy," she said gently, "Ms. Callendar made a mistake. Admittedly, a really really big mistake. And I know that it's going to take you some time to forgive her, and that's certainly understandable. But she wants to help us, and we really do need her help right now."

But her words fell on deaf ears. Buffy wanted nothing to do with the young gypsy, and she minced no words in letting Willow know her position. "If she steps one foot into this library, I will take her down myself," she threatened angrily, her hazel eyes flashing with fury. "Her kind of help we don't need!" 

Willow sat back in her chair, a little surprised by the vehemence of Buffy's words. She knew that her friend was feeling angry and betrayed right now, but the fact that she would jeopardize all of their safety just to further her vendetta seemed wrong. Time to change the subject, she decided, but Buffy beat her to it.

"Do you know where Giles is? He was going to tell me about that uninvite spell. We really need to get that cast. When I think about what that bastard could do to me, or to mom..." Buffy broke off then, her eyes tearing up again.

The redhead was a little nervous about that herself. The others didn't seem to realize it, but she had invited Angel into her house at one time, back when Buffy's 'friend' Ford was in town. She hadn't wanted to bring the matter up, since Buffy and Giles had enough on their minds as it was, without having to worry about Willow as well. But she certainly would feel better once that uninvite spell was safely in place.

"He actually found a spell, and I've been working out the kinks on it, while he went to gather the ingredients," Willow answered eagerly. "I think he was also going to check out some other sources and see if he could find any information on a re-souling spell." She hadn't planned on admitting that to Buffy, not wanting to get her friend's hopes up, but seeing her so down and despondent had just torn Willow's heart to pieces. 

"Really? He thinks he might have a lead?" Buffy asked, hope leaping into her eyes. "Oh Willow, if he could find that..." and then her eyes turned hopeless again, as if someone had flipped a switch. 

"What is it?" Willow asked gently.

"Well, even if we can re-curse him, it'll never be the same for us. We could never--well, you know. Not without him losing his soul again. My life is over," the slayer cried, burying her head in her arms and giving way to her tears once again.

Willow thought about pointing out that there were still some benefits to be had from re-cursing Angel, but she bit her tongue. Her friend was hurting, and as a result, she wasn't really seeing the big picture. But that was okay.

The doors to the library opened and Xander walked in. His hair looked disheveled, his lips red and puffy. Willow wondered for a moment what had happened to him, but then put the thought aside. She'd ask him about it later.

Willow watched as the young man looked at the scene before him with some confusion: Buffy crying, and her eyeing him curiously, while trying to comfort their friend. 

"Hey," he said softly, shuffling from foot to foot and looking decidedly uncomfortable. Willow knew that he had never been any good with crying females. She suspected that that was one of the reasons he liked her: because when she was sad, she'd hide the tears and not let anyone know that she was hurting.

"Hey Xan," Willow replied, using her hands and her face to convey to Xander her helplessness when it came to helping their friend. 

The young man was saved from replying by Giles' return, his usually stoic face alight with excitement.

"I believe I've got everything we need for the uninvite spell, Willow. Were you able to make the necessary corrections on your computer?" 

"Yes, I think I've covered it. Can you come over here and look?" Willow moved away from the computer, giving Giles the opportunity to peruse the document in question. The spell seemed pretty simple - just chant some words, burn some smelly herbs, and poof, it was once again a vamp-free zone. Considering their current predicament, it would be best to perform the ritual everywhere it needed to be done, tonight.

The watcher read the words on the screen, searching for errors or omissions and finding none. "Well done, Willow," he congratulated, watching her face suffuse with joy at the simple words of praise. 

"Thanks," came her quiet reply. "I think we can do this at Buffy's house first, and then we could do it at my house next. If we leave right now, we should be able to complete it all before nightfall."

"Your house?" Buffy asked sharply, her watery eyes fixing onto Willow's form. "Why do we need to do your house, Willow?" The beginnings of jealousy began to burn in her hazel eyes.

"Well, I kind of invited him in once," Willow said, casting her eyes down towards the table in embarrassment. She held up a hand, hoping to forestall the questions that the others were sure to ask. "It was when Angel needed information about Ford, and he came to my room. In hindsight, inviting him in doesn't seem that smart," she added softly, "But honestly, how could I have known what was going to happen?"

"Truly, none of us could have foreseen the events that have occurred," Giles agreed. 

"Fine," Buffy snapped. "We'll do my house first, and then Willow's. And then maybe tonight I can actually get some sleep."

Willow looked at Buffy curiously. The blonde seemed to be angry with her, but Willow wasn't sure why. Was she jealous that Angel had gone to her for help? But that was ridiculous. They were all friends - they helped each other whenever one of them needed something. She shrugged, figuring that her friend was still just a little touchy from the events of the previous night. After all, it couldn't be easy to discover that sex with your boyfriend would turn him into a homicidal maniac.


End of Part 1





Part 2


Willow was deep within her studies of ancient Chinese culture when she heard a steady tapping at her door. The sound startled her, making her body jump slightly, as her head turned quickly towards the source of the noise. Her thin yellow curtains were closed, but she could still make out a tall figure standing on her balcony, knocking steadily at the window of the French door.

Xander and Jessie used to do that, she remembered fondly, back when they were young and she was forbidden to have boys in her room. As a result, both youths had learned to climb her trellis, knocking on her door until she opened it. Many a late-night meeting took place on the balcony; nights when they had shared their fears, their hopes, and their disappointments. 

Jessie was in the past now, she reminded herself with a sad smile. She missed her goofy friend, a friend who had always been there for her through thick and thin. Some nights she still dreamed of him, and woke up in the morning, eager to tell him about it. Then the sad reality would come crashing back down on her, and she would remember that she would never be able to tell him anything ever again. Well, not face-to-face, at any rate. She still visited his gravesite often, telling the gravestone, which was all she had to remember him by, all about the changes in her life and her world. She and Xander sometimes went together, but it was so hard on her friend that she didn't always invite him.

Now she had Buffy, and even though the slayer was a good friend to her, she still missed Jessie. They had so many years of history together, and she wondered if she and Buffy would ever have the kind of closeness that comes from knowing someone for so long that they're almost a part of you.

The tapping at her door was growing more insistent, and Willow shook herself from her melancholy and went to the door. The sheer curtains opened at her touch, revealing to her the face of a fallen Angel smirking at her. 

She jumped back from the door as if its touch had scalded her, her eyes glued to Angelus' face. He was laughing openly at her now, his narrow smirk suddenly widening to an all-out grin. Her expression turned cloudy as she watched him from a distance.

Seeing the beginnings of anger stirring in her sharp eyes, Angelus' lips straightened and he wiped all traces of mirth from his face. "Let me in, little flame," he purred, the sound of his voice just reaching her straining ears through the thin door. He smiled at her, giving her a look that oozed sex and promised pleasure. His chocolate eyes seemed to melt as they met hers, and it was all Willow could do to keep from following his instructions.

Her mind, ever vigilant, reminded her that regardless of how sexy he looked, he was still violent and psychopathic, not to mention evil. Definitely evil. The whispered "No," left her lips, and he frowned slightly at the knowledge that she had refused him, and all he had to offer her.

"I'm not asking you, Willow," he said, letting a small hint of anger and impatience enter his voice. "Open this door, or we can have this conversation through it." He leaned casually to the side, arms folded comfortably across his chest. Her eyes tried not to notice the way his black leather pants clung to his hips, covering them like a second skin, or the way that the red silk shirt he wore accentuated his pale complexion, bringing out his warm brown eyes.

She took two steps towards him without even realizing it, so deeply under his spell that she seemed incapable of stopping herself. Reaching out with a shaking arm, she slowly opened the door inward, standing back and watching the smug smile that flowed across his face.

Angelus stepped forward to enter the room but was stopped short when he hit the invisible barrier that protected the room and its occupant. Handsome lips curled back into a snarl, and eyes that were previously warm and soft turned suddenly hard and cold.

"What did you do, my little flame?" he snarled furiously, trying again to enter the room, but without success. His frustration at being kept from his victim was a palpable thing, thick and heavy in the air.

His angry words pulled Willow from her daze, and she stepped back away from the door, her body closing in on itself in terror as she realized just how close she had come to being yet another of Angelus' countless victims.

"A..it's a spell," she whispered timidly, watching uneasily as the expression on Angelus' face changed from an angry sneer to a crafty smile. Angelus smiling could not be a good thing, she reminded herself, and she wondered what he was up to now.

"That's fine, Willow," he whispered softly, smiling again as she inched forward to hear his words. "I'll just go visit Buffy then. I'm sure she'll be a bit more...welcoming."

Willow flinched at the malice in his voice, his unspoken threat quite clear to the redhead. But she had one piece of information that he wasn't aware of, and the knowledge brought the ghost of a smile to her lips. "You can try, Angelus," she said softly, eyes downcast. "But you won't get any further there than you did here. Don't you think if I knew a spell like this, her house would be the first place I'd cast it?"

The honesty in her eyes convinced the vampire that she was telling the truth, and a soft snarl passed his lips as he glared at her. "Some day soon I'll find a way around your inconvenient spell, little flame. And I promise you, when that day comes, you will be the first person I come to visit."

Shrinking back from the intensity of his gaze, Willow gulped audibly and tried to calm the fear that raced through her body like a wildfire. False bravado made her threaten him the only way she knew how. "Buffy would never let you hurt me!" she insisted.

He laughed uproariously, finding her threat less than threatening. "Oh, don't worry my little flame, I would never hurt you. Not unless you begged me to," he added with a smirk. 

He gave her a long, searching look, as if attempting to see into her soul, and then in one fluid move the dark vampire turned and leapt to the ground below the balcony. Willow ran to the door, careful to stay just inside the house, and watched Angelus cross the street and disappear into the inky black night.

End of Part 2






Part 3

"Any Angelus-shaped problems last night?" Xander asked Buffy, watching as the blonde shook her head happily. Buffy seemed much more relaxed today, Willow decided, as she watched her friend from across the library table. Sure, the haunted look still peeked out from her eyes occasionally, but she no longer had that listless, hopeless edge to her voice; her eyes, although still rimmed with red, were no longer empty and dull. 

Willow was glad that Angelus obviously hadn't made good on his threat to visit Buffy. The redhead just didn't know if she could take another day of watching Buffy slowly fade away. Although she did suspect that her friend would be more than a little upset when she learned about Willow's late-night visitor.

"Did anyone else have any problems of the-er vampire variety last night?" Giles asked, leaving the quiet and comfort of his office to join the children he was quickly beginning to think of as his own. Heaven knew that most of their parents were oblivious; someone had to take care of them.

None of the students answered in the affirmative, but Willow, who had remained silent, appeared to have something that she needed to say. As he watched, she shifted uneasily in her chair, her eyes darting away from his as if afraid that he would guess her secret.

"Willow?" he prodded.

He smiled slightly at the startled look on her face. "What happened last night? Did you have a visit from Angelus?"

Buffy frowned at the question, her eyes focusing on Willow. "Why would he bother Willow?" she asked, confused and hurt. "He doesn't care about her!" 

Giles had to smother a smile as Willow practically danced in her chair in an effort to escape her friend's eyes. "He did come to visit you, didn't he?" the librarian asked gently, giving the young woman a comforting look.

"Yeah," she confessed, "Sorry Buffy. I mean, not that's my fault or anything. I really didn't do anything to encourage him. I promise! It's just that I was studying, and he was there at the door, and I accidentally opened it--"

"You opened it?!" Xander yelled.

"Well I think we can assume that since Willow is still sitting here with us, that the uninvite spell worked successfully. Correct?" Giles asked, his hands moving in a shushing motion when he saw that Xander was ready to break into another round of admonitions to the rather dispirited redhead.

"Yes, it worked," she answered quietly, seeming to get smaller and smaller before his very eyes. The poor girl looked positively miserable.

"I didn't mean to open it!" the words burst from her mouth, drawing their attention back to her. "But he was talking, and it was almost like I was under some kind of spell."

"I knew it! You always had a thing for Angel," Buffy accused. "And now that he's Angelus you think you have a chance with him. That's it, isn't it?"

They all looked at the blonde in horror, amazed that she would say something so silly and cruel. 

Xander was the first to speak, and it had obviously taken a concerted effort on his part to reign in his anger. "Buffy, your pet vampire is a psychopath who tried to break into her house and would have KILLED her if it wasn't for that uninvite spell. I don't think she was encouraging him. Hell, if she had, she'd be DEAD by now," he said angrily. "If you and Angel hadn't played 'hide the salami' then none of this would even be happening!"

Buffy looked a bit contrite, although she still obviously had misgivings about Willow's motives. 

"You can't think that I would ever do that to you," Willow told her, her green eyes filled with hurt and betrayal. Tears threatened to spill, but she kept it all under control. Just barely. "You're terribly upset. I get that, I really do," she added. "But it really hurts that you would think I could ever do something like that to you. You're my friend, ya know?"

Buffy contemplated the tears in Willow's eyes and the obvious sincerity of her words and relented a bit. "Sorry Will. Guess I'm just a little out of control." 

It wasn't much of an apology, as apologies go, but Willow accepted it in hopes that the whole situation could be swept under the rug. She saw the frown that was forming on Giles' face and tried to steer the conversation back onto safer ground. "So what's our next step, Giles? Have you come any closer to finding a re-souling spell?"

"Why bother re-souling the bastard? Why not just dust him and move on?" Xander's comments brought fresh tears to Buffy's eyes, and Willow and Giles shot him twin glares of annoyance. Why couldn't he just learn to keep his mouth shut?

Giles cleared his throat, bringing their attention back to him. "I haven't had much luck yet with the re-souling spell," he admitted. His eyes wandered to Buffy's face, and he gauged her reaction to his next words: "If we were to contact the gypsies perhaps we would have a little more-"

"NO!" Buffy yelled, jumping up and running over to look Giles in the eye. "That bitch is the one responsible for this mess in the first place. Her and the rest of the gypsies. If it wasn't for them, I'd be with Angel right now."

"Buffy," Xander began, hoping to make her see that it was time to put aside petty grievances and concentrate on the big picture.

"Don't say it, Xander," she bit out angrily, her gaze at the young man harsh and cold. "We can do this without their help. Without HER help," she insisted. "Willow and Giles can research and they'll find out how to do it."

"And in the meantime, how many people will die Buffy?" Xander countered angrily. "Don't forget that you're not his only target. Even now, he's killing innocent people. Maybe you should be thinking about that, and not some stupid grudge."

He watched sadly as the slayer seemed to close in upon herself, her face crumpling and tears falling from her eyes. "Fine, do whatever the hell you want. Just don't let me see that gypsy bitch or I *will* hurt her," Buffy said angrily. She turned and ran from the room, leaving a shocked and silent group behind her.

The three remaining occupants of the room looked sadly at the door, hope springing briefly into their eyes as it opened again. But it was only Cordelia, and again their sadness returned.

"What, no hello, no 'how's it going Cordy'" she asked snappily. "I mean, I know that the social niceties are beyond some of you," she added, giving Willow a spiteful look, "But I thought maybe a 'hello' wouldn't be too much to ask."

First Buffy accused her of trying to steal Angel from her, and now Cordelia was taking cheap shots at her. It was more than Willow could take. She walked from the room without a word, head held high and eyes clear. Home was the place to be right now; she craved the safety and comfort it provided. Although her parents would not be there waiting for her, eager for a report of her day, at least she could cry there without having anyone bother her. And right now, that was just what she wanted to do.

End of Part 3

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