Title: Then and Now
Author: Kat, a.k.a. KallieRose
E-mail: [email protected]
Rating: NC-17 eventually, PG for now
Pairing: Willow/Angelus
Disclaimer: I acknowledge Joss Whedon as god of gods. All the characters in this story are his creation, along with Fox, the rest of the Mutant Enemy Crew, and whomever else wants to lay claim to them. I'm merely killing time by putting them in totally unrealistic situations :-)
Summary: Angelus takes an interest in Willow, in order to tick off Buffy.  But it doesn't quite turn out the way he expects it to.
Spoilers: Spoilers for season 2 Buffy
A/N:  A huge thanks to Gabrielle and Lisa for all their help and support.  Without the help and encouragement of these two wonderful ladies this story would probably just be stuck inside my demented little head./

Then and Now

Part 4

It was late afternoon; the sun had just set and long shadows began to wreath the streets. Willow headed eagerly towards the library to do some studying-slash-research. Although finals were not far away, she knew that looking for a spell to help Angel was just as important, if not more so. As a result, her time was spent split between the two tasks, without making significant progress on either one, truth be told.

Willow's night had been quiet and without interruptions, which was a cause for some relief. She had been concerned that a certain soul-less vampire would pay her another visit, but those fears had been unfounded. Perhaps he had decided to go torment Buffy this time, she thought bitterly, still slightly stung by her friend's cruel accusations the day before.

Best to push negative Buffy-type thoughts out of her mind, she reminded herself. They had a problem to fix: Angelus, and the re-souling of said vampire. She knew that Ms. Callendar would be able to find something to help. Her faith in her mentor was strong, and even though Buffy did not want any contact with the computer teacher, Willow knew that it was in all of their best interests to forgive and forget, and hope, perhaps even pray, that the gypsy would have the key to solving their problem.

'Poor Giles,' she thought sadly, as she pushed open the doors of her school. He had been falling for the teacher - she was certain of it. All the signs had been there. The cute little way he took off his glasses and polished busily whenever her name was brought up, the slight stutter to his words every time he talked to her. And the way he had even gone to a monster truck rally, simply because she had asked him to. Yep, it had to be serious.

And then the past had come to rear its ugly head, and Ms. Callendar's secret had come out in the open for all to see. 

Buffy would never forgive Giles if he continued his relationship with her. Then again, with the level of betrayal that Giles was feeling right now, that really didn't appear to be much of a problem. But Willow knew that Ms. Callendar still cared deeply for Giles, and he for her, despite his current feelings of betrayal. If only her mentor could come up with a solution to the re-souling issue. Then Buffy would relent, and Giles would forgive her, and they could all be happy again. Well, as close to happy as anyone ever was here, she reminded herself.

Her steps quickened as she closed in on the library door, but something from the conversation within caught her attention, stilling her movements and making her pause for a moment just outside the door.

"You're going to have to tell Willow sooner or later," the voice said reprovingly. It was Giles, she realized, the cool, crisp English voice laced with disapproval.

Willow knew that eavesdropping was wrong. Her mother in particular had cautioned her about it, reminding her of the old adage about people who eavesdrop never hearing anything good about themselves, or something like that. But the words Giles spoke, and the way that he said them, tempted Willow beyond her capacity to say no. Obviously her friends were keeping something from her, and whatever it was, she had a right to know. At least that was how she rationalized her gross breach of etiquette in her mind.

"I know, I know," this time Xander's voice was the one she heard. "And I will tell her soon. It's just...well, so much is going on, and I don't want her to feel like I'm not here for her or anything."

"Oh, for god's sake," Cordelia's voice now, and she sounded a little ticked off. Why was she sounding ticked off? "I'm your girlfriend, NOT her. You should be worrying about being here for me!"

Cordelia was whose girlfriend? Xander's girlfriend? Who else was in that room? If only there was some way to peer around the door without being seen. But the next words she heard, Buffy's words, turned her cold. "Well I told you, she's been in love with you for like, forever, Xander. I'm all for letting her down easy and everything, but the longer you wait, the better the chances are that she'll hear it somewhere else first."

Oh no, it was true. Xander and Cordelia were - TOGETHER. And everyone seemed to know about it except her. 

Her mind flew back to the previous day, and Xander's slightly unusual appearance. The mussed hair and puffy lips suddenly made sense now. He had been with Cordelia somewhere. Kissing. And who knew what else.

Buffy's damning words kept ringing in her ears: 'I told you she's been in love with you forever.' How could Buffy have betrayed her like that? Humiliated her like that? And Xander...he was dating the one person in the world she actually hated. She had tried hard not to hate Cordelia, but every attempt at friendship had been rebuffed and punished with cruelty. Xander *knew* this. And still he chose to date Cordelia. He'd rather be with someone like that than with her.

The pain that came with that knowledge was a palpable thing, squeezing her heart and bringing bitter tears to her eyes. She needed to be gone. Wanted to be home so badly that she could taste it. Home where she could be alone in peace; cry her eyes out in peace for the loss of the first love she had ever had.

Without a word to those inside the library, she turned and ran blindly down the hall and out the doors, not stopping for breath until she was blocks from the school and the betrayal of her friends. She barely made it home before the tears that had threatened to overwhelm her began to flow freely from her eyes. In her misery and haste, she never noticed the dark eyes that watched her as her friends' betrayal became known to her. 

Angelus had been positively gleeful when he saw the redhead walking towards the school. He trailed distantly behind her, trying to decide on his next move. Should he capture her now, or would it be more enjoyable to play with her a bit longer? The little game of cat-and-mouse that he envisioned was quickly gaining favor in his fevered imagination. He imagined how much fun it would be to slowly poison her mind and corrupt her lovely innocence, the taking of her virginity the final phase of the sinister plan. Then, when she was begging for his touch, hungering for more, he would leave her, insane and broken, on the slayer's doorstep. Yes, that was the game he would play, he decided happily. It might take a little longer than a quick torture and a kill, but the rewards were far greater as well.

He decided to follow her into the school, just to see her safely to the library. It wouldn't do to have her mauled by some stupid fledgling, after all. He would have to put out the word that she was off limits, he decided. Make sure the demon community knew that he had plans for her. 

She caught him by surprise when she stopped just short of opening the door, and his ears strained to hear the conversation that she had obviously stopped to hear. Naughty girl, his little flame, hiding behind doors and listening to words not meant for her to hear. The thought of the other naughty things she might enjoy brought a momentary flush of excitement to his body.

He began to frown as he heard more of the conversation, surprised that her so-called friends could be so deliberately cruel. And they considered vampires to be monsters. Humans could be just as evil, he knew. 

The scent of her salty tears filled his senses, and for a moment he thought about moving to comfort her. This would be a perfect opportunity to gain favor with her, at the expense of her friendship with the others. But before he could consider all the angles, she had run past him, fleeing down the hall and out into the dark night. He followed behind her at a leisurely pace, watching to make sure she made it home safely. In her highly emotional state she was broadcasting waves of sorrow and betrayal that could be felt for miles. She would have been an easy meal for any demon that had an interest, but the few in the area saw Angelus stalking her and backed off quickly.

They knew without words that she belonged to him.

End of Part 4






Part 5


Angelus watched Willow as she opened her front door and slipped quickly into the house. Reasonably sure that she would stay put now that she was home, the vampire headed out into the night, his ultimate destination the mansion on Crawford Street. Time to drop in on the children, he thought with a smirk. He knew that Drusilla would be eager to see him; she had been quite excited when she realized that 'daddy' was back, demon and all.

Spike, of course, was bitter and angry. It was typical of his wayward childe's attitude towards him, he acknowledged. Spike had always been angry with him for some slight, whether real or imagined. First he was too much of a hands-on sire, the blond complained. Then, later, when he received his soul, he complained that Angelus had abandoned them. Like Spike would have had any use for me once I had a soul, he scoffed. That was a laugh! Angel hadn't been good for much of anything, except, well, doing good. The very thought made him sick. 

And now he was back, at Spike and Dru's side, ready to guide them to the exciting future that awaited them. But instead of being happy to see him, Spike had merely taken every opportunity to alternately antagonize or ignore him. Of course, Dru's reaction to his return must have been particularly galling to the blond vampire. Spike had taken care of Dru for all these years, indulged her every whim, and yet one glimpse of 'daddy' and she was ready to take up with him where they'd left off. Poor Spike, he thought evilly. 

'Life's a bitch and then you die,' the words of the popular human phrase came to mind, and he considered them clinically. While they were certainly true, they really didn't go far enough. The part that came after 'and then you die' was where it really got interesting, when it came right down to it. 

His life, or rather, Liam's life, had really been rather a waste of time and energy. The human had been a wastrel, a drunkard, and a letcher. Certainly his mother had loved him, but very few others had. Darla, however, had seen a potential in him that others had not. And he thanked his lucky stars for that.

Now *there* was a bitch for you. Darla had been the Queen of Bitches, she had. She had ridden him hard, harping on his every decision, second-guessing his every action and criticizing his every kill. But in the end, it had made him a better, stronger vampire. A true Master Vampire in every sense of the word. As much as he had hated and feared her as a fledgling, in time he had begun to realize that what she had done, she had done to make him stronger.

But beyond her training, her sexual prowess, and her abilities as a sire, there was also the benefit of her superior bloodline. As any good vampire will tell you, as they sink their fangs into your soft neck, it's always about the blood. And she came from the best. Favored childe of the Master himself, her family connections gave him a reputation and a standing in the vampire community that mere ruthlessness and cruelty alone could never match.

Yes, he certainly had a lot to thank Darla for. Or, he would have. If only the souled bastard hadn't killed her.

Angelus was pulled out of his reverie by the large mansion that loomed above him. 'Home at last,' he thought, as he made his way past the minion sentries and into the mansion. 

"Dru, Spike, daddy's home," he called, eager to see his childre again. 

"Well I'm just a-quiver with excitement, I am," came Spike's sarcastic voice, as the younger vampire wheeled himself into the room. "Have you killed the bloody slayer yet?" he demanded, knowing that his sire hadn't, and probably never would, kill the stupid bint.

"Daddy!" Drusilla screamed, her voice filled with delight. She ran into the room and threw her arms around her sire, giggling as he twirled her around like a small child, before carefully putting her back on her feet. Spike gave them a look of absolute disgust, but Angelus was in such a good mood that he was willing to forgive and forget. After all, they were family.

"Hello darling," he said to Dru, giving her a quick kiss on her forehead. Spike growled softly at the display, but again Angelus ignored him.

"And no, Spike, I haven't killed the slayer yet. Why the hell should I? I'm having too much fun watching her fall apart. You should see it, she's completely lost it."

"I'd prefer to see her completely lose her head. She's a slayer, remember?" he said, turning away in disgust. "She kills our kind for sport. Seems only fitting that you, as a vampire, would want to put a stop to that."

Angelus shot Spike a look of pure annoyance. The spoiled brat was actually criticizing him, he realized, and his good mood began to evaporate. A growing anger towards his child began to simmer beneath the surface of his calm facade, and with a little more provocation his rage would boil over. Just because Spike was in a wheelchair didn't mean that Angelus would hesitate for a moment to give the blond the discipline he so obviously needed. He wondered idly whether the younger vampire's cock still worked. Might be fun to find out.

Dru noticed the gleam that came to her sire's eyes, and decided to put a stop to the confrontation that she could see was brewing. It was inevitable that sooner or later the two would come to blows, but she hoped to delay that moment for as long as possible. Her family was together, and she hoped that they could just be happy for a bit. 

"Sire," she purred, running her hands up and down Angelus' chest as she talked, "What is your plan? You always have such delightful plans. If you're leaving the slayer alive, I'm sure there's a reason for it." She turned to Spike and gave him a slow wink, and her lips blew him a kiss, filled with promises of delights yet to come.

"Yes baby, there's definitely a plan," he agreed, covering her hands with his own, and gently caressing them as he removed them from his chest. He drew her to a sofa in the large, comfortable living room, and they sat together. Angelus motioned for Spike to join them, which the other vampire reluctantly did. "I *will* kill the slayer, Spike. Or, if you wish, I can wait until you're better, and you can do it yourself. Doesn't much matter to me. Mostly I just want to play. It's been a long time since I've been able to play with my food," he added happily, enjoying Dru's worshipping gaze. 

Spike still seemed sullen, but his eyes had taken on a bit of excitement at the thought of bagging another slayer. Angelus knew that it was just a matter of time before Spike was back on his feet, both figuratively and literally. He had been feeding his childe his own blood regularly since the soul had departed, and already there were marked improvements. Just a little longer and the wheelchair would be a thing of the past. The thought made him happy, but he suspected that once his childe was back to full strength, it would be quite difficult to keep the younger vampire in line. Spike had been too independent for too long, and it would probably take a lot of discipline to remind him who he belonged to. He felt his cock stirring to life at the thought of punishing his stubborn childe, and acknowledged that he might just enjoy the challenge. But first things first...

"I've got a new toy to play with," he added, smiling as Dru clapped her hands together in childish glee. 

"It's the little redheaded flame, isn't it, daddy?" she asked as she bounced on the sofa beside him. 

'How does she always know,' he wondered. Somehow, someway, his insane childe always seemed to know these things, often before he figured them out himself. It could be a little disconcerting at times, but it could also be inordinately useful.

"That little mousy friend of the slayer?" Spike snorted disbelievingly. "She looks like she'd scream if you said 'boo' to her. What possible challenge could she pose?"

"Oh, you might be surprised," Angelus answered, warming to the subject. "She's quite the looker, underneath all those hideous clothes. Add to that the fact that she's the smartest girl I've met in quite a while, and of course that tantalizing innocence that your teeth just ache to taste. Oh, and then there's that little streak of wild darkness running right under the surface. I don't think she's even aware of it herself, but it's certainly there. Don't let her appearance fool you, childe. There's a lot more there than meets the eye."

Spike clearly looked unconvinced, but Angelus didn't care. Besides, he still had his trump card to play. "Not only will her destruction be a hell of a lot of fun, but think of what it will do to the slayer and the rest of her little band. The redhead is the one who holds that group together. I'm sure you've seen that." He waited for Spike to nod in agreement, and then continued. "By taking her apart, I'll be taking them all down. The only thing that makes this slayer strong is her support network. Without them, she's just a girl; not much better than any of the other recent ones. We take out Willow, and the whole house of cards falls down. Then the slayer is an easy target." 

An evil smile grew on the blond's face as he processed the words, realizing the truth of Angelus' statements. "Have fun then, mate. Not that I doubt for a moment that you won't. Just let me know when the time is right to take out the slayer. Hell, she might even make a nice little pet, now that I think of it. All that lovely blonde hair and those muscular legs. Yeah, I might be able to get into a bit of that."

Angelus smiled at his childe's words. It might take a little time, but before too long his family would be back the way they should be.


End of Part 5





Part 6


Bitter tears dripped down Willow's cheeks as she lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling above her and wondering what she had done to deserve the pain she was feeling right now. Not that pain was something new to her. It certainly wasn't. She had suffered a fair amount of hurt in her young life. Her parents and their lack of interest in her, for example, were a constant source of pain. Then there was the loss of Jessie - another agonizing event in her life. But this was different; this was worse than all those other experiences put together.

She had loved Xander since before she had had a name to describe her feelings. He didn't see her as anything but a friend, and she accepted that. Maybe some small part of her hoped that someday he would open up his stupid eyes and realize that she was there for him; would always be there for him. But overall she had pretty much accepted that his friendship was the only part of him that she would ever have. And for the most part she had learned to live with that.

And then Buffy had come into their lives. A female friend was something new and exciting for Willow. Sure, she had female acquaintances, but this was something more. Buffy had quickly become her confidante and her advisor, and perhaps in the excitement Willow had told her new friend more than she should have. She had poured out all her secret feelings and wishes for Xander, and Buffy had listened like a friend, promising never to speak a word to anyone about her feelings for the oblivious brunette.

That just made her betrayal tonight so much more awful.

They ALL knew about her feelings for Xander now, she thought morosely as fresh tears of humiliation threatened to fall. Not only that, but they had all known about Xander and Cordelia. Her hands balled into firsts as she realized the depths of their betrayal. Not one of them had said a word to her. Well, she wouldn't expect anything from Xander. He seemed to be doing his best to keep the whole thing secret. Obviously he had known how upset the news would make her. 

She could imagine them all, sitting in the library, talking about 'poor little Willow.' God, the embarrassment was almost more than she could take. And Xander? How could he date that, that, well, Cordelia wasn't a very nice person, that's all. After all the years she had taunted them, and all the abuse she had heaped on Willow in particular, and then Xander goes off and kisses her. There was probably more than just the kissing, she decided, the thought making her slightly ill. How could he have betrayed her like that, her heart wailed.

And why hadn't Giles or Buffy told her the truth? She couldn't believe that her 'friend' had kept silent the entire time. She knew that Buffy was still angry with her over the whole 'Angelus' thing, but *this* was beyond cruel. 

Her mind went off on a tangent, considering the situation between her friend and the now-evil vampire. Why on earth would Buffy think that she wanted Angelus' attentions? Sure, he was one sexy bit of salty goodness; even thinking like that was bringing a blush to her body, she knew. But if she was honest, she had to admit that he was incredibly sexy. But evil, she reminded herself sternly. Definitely evil. *So* not daydream material.

Maybe if Angelus had been Angel, and he and Buffy had never been involved, well, maybe she could allow herself to feel differently about him. But then again, he would never have looked at her if that were the case. The only reason he was bothering her now was because he figured she would be an easy way to get back at Buffy. 

And considering Buffy's actions of late, it seemed to be working like a charm. The only reason Angelus was bothering Willow at all was because he was trying to hurt Buffy. Why couldn't her friend see that? The blonde just seemed so caught up in her little drama that helping her friends seemed to be beyond her.

No, that wasn't fair, she decided. Buffy was going through a tough time right now, and regardless of the way her friend was treating her, if Willow was to be a true friend, she had to cut Buffy some slack. Didn't she? Yet at the same time, it just didn't seem fair that Buffy had brought a lot of this trouble upon herself, but Willow seemed to be the one paying the price.

She hated them all; it was just simpler that way, she decided. Every single one of them who had kept the secret from her. And Angelus too. And all the stupid vampires out there. Why couldn't life be simple she wondered, her heart heavy with hurt. Like when she was younger, and the only things she had to worry about were getting caught out after curfew with Xander and Jessie.

So maybe she didn't exactly hate all of them. Her brain knew that she was just angry and hurting, even if her heart wasn't so sure. But just for tonight she'd hold onto that anger for a little while. Maybe it would make her feel better; make her stronger.

Tomorrow morning she would let it go, and she would put on her cheerful, happy, 'Willow' face and pretend that everything was okay. Pretend that she hadn't felt betrayed by her friends. Pretend that she hadn't cried her eyes out, alone in her room.

Despite what her friends thought, she was actually quite good at pretending.

Angelus watched the young redhead as she cried in her room, wishing he could smell the salt of her tears and the scent of her despair. Despair, he knew, smelled slightly like vinegar. Rich, bitter and tangy, it smelled even better when mixed with the sweet scent of fear.

The girl on the bed was still now, her eyes closed and her body tense and angry. He wondered what thoughts were going through her mind; although earlier her face had been an open window to her mood, now it was closed tight. Well, only one way to know for sure what she was thinking, he decided.

He knocked lightly on the door, smiling when he saw her eyes snap open and focus on his face. It looked for a moment like she had decided to ignore him, but before he could decide on his next move, she rose from the bed and approached the door, opening it just a bit, and then sitting down on the floor in front of it.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" Despair and resignation came through in her voice in equal parts.

"Why were you crying?" he avoided her question with one of her own.

"Why do you care?" Ah, she knew how to play that game too.

He shrugged then, unsure which answer would give him the best advantage. "Just thought I'd see if you wanted to talk," he said finally.

It was her turn to shrug, and then she stretched out to lie on her side, still facing him, but craning her neck to look up. Angelus took the cue, lying down on the cold wood of her deck, his position mirroring her own. She hadn't told him to go away, which surprised him. In fact, she seemed interested in talking, which was an even bigger surprise. He tried to concentrate, choosing his next words carefully.

"I'm sorry you found out about Xander and the cheerleader that way. It was cruel of them not to tell you outright," he said softly, careful to keep any trace of judgment out of his voice.

Her body tensed and her eyes squeezed shut. Silence settled about them, occasionally broken by the sounds of cars far below on the street. All that care taken, and he had still managed to say wrong thing.

"So you knew about it too?" she finally said, opening her eyes again and training them on his pale face. "How long have you known? Did *Angel* know?"

"You must be kidding," he spit contemptuously. "That souled moron was so fixated on the slayer that he didn't even know the cheerleader's name. He had absolutely no clue."

She was silent for a moment as she considered his words. "So what are you fixated on, Angelus?" she asked softly, her green eyes curious. 

'Curiosity killed the cat,' he thought, and decided that this was the aspect of hers on which he should concentrate. 

His guileless brown eyes met hers as he gave her his answer. "Haven't you guessed yet, little flame? I'm fixated on you."


End of Part 6

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