SimpHomer02

Homer: But we love Bart and Lisa!
Judge: And Margaret?
Homer: Margaret? Lady you got the wrong file ...
Marge: [Whispering] She means Maggie.
Homer: Oh yeah, I don't have anything against her.

"My hotdog has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r, my hotdog has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r!�

"I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood."

Lisa: 'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer: [Thinking] What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
Homer: Takes one to know one.
Homer: [Thinking] Swish.

"Oh, so they have internet on computers now!"

"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos."

Bart: Homer, are you licking toads?
Homer: I'm not not licking toads.

"Ooh, I'll never eat chili again ... Woohoo CHILI!"

"I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun."

Bart: Mo-om! My slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck.
Marge: Bart, where do you pick up words like that?
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! That just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

"Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten."

"Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! Ow. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!"

Bart: But what's really amazing is that this is exactly what dad said would happen.
Lisa: Yeah, dad was right.
Homer: I know, kids, I'm scared too.

"Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?"

"Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?"

Lisa: Dad, please, for the last time, I beg you: don't lower yourself to the level of the mob!
Homer: Lisa, maybe if I'm part of that mob, I can help steer it in wise directions. Now, where's my giant foam cowboy hat and air horn?

"Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?"

Marge: How was your day at work, dear?
Homer: Oh, the usual. Stand in front of this, open that, pull down this, bend over, spread apart that, turn your head that way, cough�

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like ... love!"

Marge: I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the bible say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me�?"
Homer: Yes, but doesn't the bible also say, "Thou shalt not take moochers into thy hut?"