 |
| Homer Quotes |
|
| Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog. Bart: You're right! I'll do it. [Bart runs out the kitchen] Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food! "Oh my god! Space Aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!" "Excuse me Doctor, I think I now a little something about medicine." |
| Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life? Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries. "Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family." "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine." Art lady: It's called 'outsider art.' It could be done by a mental patient, a hillbilly . . . or a chimpanzee. Homer: Hey! In high school, I was voted most likely to BE a mental patient, a hillbilly, or a chimpanzee! "Oh, used grease is worth money eh? Then my arteries are filled with liquid gold!" "Look, Marge, I'm sorry I haven't been a better husband, I'm sorry about the time I tried to make gravy in the bathtub, I'm sorry I used your wedding dress to wax the car, and I'm sorry - oh well, let's just say I'm sorry for the whole marriage up to this point." Flanders: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope its Flanders. |
| "I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!" Lisa: Dad! You can't just leave us by ourselves, we need a babysitter! Homer: Lisa, haven't you seen Home Alone? If some burglars come it'll be a hilarious situation... "Oh, I'm not gonna lie to you Marge... see ya!" Homer: Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth? Vendor: We have crab juice and Mountain Dew. Homer: Eeewww. I'll have the crab juice! "I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!" "Don't let Krusty's death get you down boy. People die all the time, just like that [Snaps fingers]. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night." Homer: Hey Marge, look at me - I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from happy land who lives in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane... In case you didn't realize, I was being sarcastic. Marge: Well duh. "I know you can read my thoughts boy... [Thinking] meow meow meow meow meow meow meow." "Look at 'em. Watchin' my TV. Sittin' on my couch. You better not be in my ass groove!" |
| . |