By Kali Gargoyle
***
Leonardo was the first the reach the double glass doors and he held it open for the rest of the group. Kali removed her sunglasses, then put them back on after deciding that the inside was still too bright.
"Ooh!"
Kali looked over to see Michaelangelo admiring the display case of Hot Dog On A Stick. She grabbed him by the bandanna and dragged him along beside her.
Donatello pulled his fedora down. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. It's too public."
They all stopped at the directory and Leo scanned for the 'you are here' sticker. "Okay, where to first?"
Raphael scanned the list of shops. "Think anyone will notice four giant walking turtles?"
Kali reached over and took Raph's fedora. Raph turned and snatched it back, then looked around. No had stopped or even glanced at them. "What the…?"
Kali giggled. "Around here, weird is norm, Raph. You'll fit in fine."
Raphael placed his hat back on his head. "I'll just take your word for it."
Mike grabbed Kali's arm and pulled her to the left. "Candy!"
"Great," Leo groaned, "just what he needs, more sugar."
"I want these… and these… ooh! And some of those!"
Kali laughed nervously. "You guys brought your own money, right?"
Mike looked up from filling his bag. "Huh?"
Kali lowered her head into her hands. Donnie patted her shoulder. "We've got it covered, Kali."
Kali smiled. "I knew I could count on you, Don."
Mike snatched the card right out of Don's hand. "Thanks, bro!" He set his bags on the counter. "Charge it, man!"
The elderly man behind the counter carefully set the bags on the scale. Mike tapped his fingers impatiently. He finally got his candy paid for and popped a jawbreaker in his mouth as he left.
Kali shuddered. "Ever seen the movie, Jawbreaker?"
Mike blinked. "No."
Kali shook her head. "Traumatized me for life."
Raph chuckled. "I thought you like scary movies."
"And I used to love jawbreakers so much."
Mike removed the jawbreaker from his mouth. "So, what happened?"
Kali opened her mouth, then shut it. "Nothing. Enjoy your sugar, Mike."
Mike shrugged as they continued down the line of stores. They had just about reached the end when Kali abruptly stopped. The guys didn't notice and kept walking as Kali made a bee line for the neon orange signs.
Don stopped in front of the next store, a bookstore. "Let's go in here, guys."
Raph rolled his eyes. "Donnie, this is supposed to be fun."
"Books are fun, right Kali? Kali?"
They all turned around but their female friend was nowhere to be found.
"Great!" Leo exclaimed. "Now what do we do?"
Raph back up and looked into the store they had just passed. "There she is. Just follow the clearance signs."
Leo sighed. "You and Mike stay with Kali. Don and I want to check out the books."
Raph crossed his arms. "How come you always tell us what to do, Leo?"
Leo looked over at him. "Do you want to come with us?"
"Do they have a porno section?"
Don stood on his tiptoes to check the signs. "I don't think so."
"I'll go watch Kali try on clothes. Mike?"
"That is so you!"
Kali twirled around in a black shirt with a tribal fire print on the front. "You really think so? Is it too tight?"
Mike grinned. "Yes, it's perfect!"
Raph pushed past the circular racks. "Hey, nice shirt."
Kali smiled. "You really like it?"
They both nodded.
"Good! Let me change back so I can browse some more."
Raph's mouth dropped open. "More? Don't you have enough clothes?"
Kali's voice floated over the dressing room door. "One can never have enough clothes, Raph. Besides, they're on sale."
"So?"
Kali came back out wearing her white shirt. "It's a sale."
Raph and Mike both stared blankly.
Kali let out a sound of frustration and dumped her new shirt and her purse into Raph's arms. "Here, hold these."
"What!"
But Kali was already flipping through the hangers. Raphael shifted uncomfortably. Mike looked through another rack.
"How 'bout this?"
Mike held up a nearly see-through shirt with a bright flower print.
Kali considered it for a moment. "I don't think it'll fit you, Mike."
Raphael laughed. Mike frowned, "No, I mean for you."
"Hey, these jackets are marked down to four dollars!"
***
Leonardo paced in front of the bench where Donatello sat reading his book.
"Hey, guys!" Kali called, stepping out of the store with a large black and gray bag.
"You shouldn't disappear like that!" Leo lectured her.
Don dog-eared his page and stood up. "Let's get moving, okay?"
Kali smiled brightly and Leo relented. They walked back the way they came, along the other side of the mall. However, they didn't get far.
Raph grabbed Kali's arm. "This looks good!"
Kali covered her eyes. "Too pink!"
Mike's eyes got wide and glassy. "I always wondered what Victoria's secret was."
Leo picked up a leopard print bra. "Maybe it's this."
"Can I help you?"
Mike spun around to face a tall brunette. "Hi! We're just looking." The woman raised an eyebrow. "For her!" Mike said quickly, pointing to Kali.
"I don't need any of this stuff," Kali told them.
"You didn't need those five shirts either," Raph replied.
Don wandered around and occupied himself by smelling lotions. The lovely cashier walked out from behind the counter and grabbed his sleeve.
"Hello, how are you today?" Before Don could reply, she continued. "Good! Would you like to sample our dream angels collection? Of course you would!"
Don tried to pull away but the woman's grip was very strong. She held on with one hand while grabbing a bottle from the shelf. "This scent's called halo."
She squirted the lotion on her hand, momentarily letting go of Don's sleeve.
"No, I don't think so," Don started saying.
"It's very nice, see? This is the moisturizer."
Donatello stood perfectly still as the demo diva moisturized his hand and forearm, oblivious to the fact he wasn't human. Mike elbowed Raph and pointed. They both chuckled into their hands while Kali gave him a sympathetic look.
"Then you use the splash as kinda a polisher." Don just nodded politely, shooting a help-me look to his family. Leonardo had dragged Mike out of the store. Kali covered her nose as Raph tried to talk her into buying a thong. She could smell the perfumed lotion way over on the other side of the store!
"And then the angel dust!" The woman squealed.
Don pulled his sleeve down. "Uh, huh, that's nice. Thank you."
"Would you like to buy the set? Only fifty dollars."
Don looked like a deer in headlights, or rather, a turtle. "Um…as soon as I find the right occasion."
"Okay." The sales girl smiled and hurried to her next victim…I mean customer. Don hurried outside, followed by Kali and Raph, who had been unsuccessful at getting Kali to buy anything.
Leo covered his beak. "Geez, Don! What the hell did she do to you?"
"I tried to stop her, really! But she was so cheerful it was sucking my will to live!"
Kali smirked. She nudged Don and they continued walking. "At least you didn't buy the stuff. You kept that much willpower." She looked down at her hands. "Oh, gross!"
"What?" Mike asked.
Kali shifted her bag in her hands. "The black from the bag's coming off on my hands."
"Ewwww," Leo commented.
"Kali?"
Kali looked up and saw a short girl with reddish hair hurry towards her. "Amber!"
They exchanged a quick hug and hello. "Hey, Amber, these are my friends, Leo, Donnie, Raph, and Mikey."
Mike took Amber's hand and kissed it. "A pleasure to meet you."
Amber giggled and blushed. "Nice to meet you too." She sniffed. "Eww, which one of you got cornered by the demo diva?"
"Don't you mean demo demon?" Kali quipped.
Don shyly raised his hand. Amber nodded. "Yeah, me, too. You buy it?"
"No," Don answered.
Amber sighed. "You are made of stronger stuff than I."
Raph stepped up beside her. "Ha! Finally, someone shorter then us!"
Amber smacked his shoulder. "You son of a bitch!"
Mike's eyes widened. "Yep, definitely one of your friends, Kali."
Kali ignored the comment and turned to Amber. "Wanna hang out with us?"
Amber shrugged. "Sure, for a while. I was going to Claire's."
"Cool."
Raph groaned. "Not another chick shop."
"They are 'chicks'," Don reminded him.
Leo nudged Raphael and pointed a few shops down.
"'King of Knives?' Let's go."
Mike and Don waited outside while Amber and Kali shopped. They finally decided on a few camisole sets and left.
"Where're Leo and Raph?" Kali asked.
Don stopped itching his arm long enough to point to a store with swords displayed in the front window. Amber's eyes widened. Kali sighed. "We're never going to get them out to there."
Amber covered her stomach with her hand. "Is anyone else hungry?"
"Yeah!" Mike yelled. "I want pizza!"
Kali looked through her directory pamphlet. "I don't think any place here sells it."
"Then let's leave."
Kali looked at Mike over her sunglasses. "How 'bout Taco Bell?"
Don shook his head furiously. "No, you do not want that if you're going to be in the van with us later."
Amber was busy showing Mike her new belly button piercing. Kali looked back down at the paper map. "Okay. McDonald's sound good?"
"Who's buying?" Amber asked.
"The guys. Donnie, you all right?"
Don went back to itching his arm. "No, my damn arm itches. I think I'm having a bad reaction to that lotion. I doubt it was designed for reptilian skin."
Kali frowned. "Sorry."
***
Mike and Don carried their order to the booth where the rest of their group was waiting. They all grabbed their stuff and dug in. Amber squished up her face in disgust at their manners.
Raph looked over at Kali and swallowed. "That all you having?"
Kali looked down at her mini-meal. "I'm trying to cut back. Last time I went out with you guys I went up a size."
Mike frowned. "You look fine," he said through a mouthful of fries.
Kali sighed. "Guys just don't understand."
All four turtles looked at her for a second before returning to their lunch.
Amber finished off the last of her soda and stood up. "I've got work later, I've got to get home."
Mike ruffled her short hair. "See ya, squirt."
Amber glared at him. "It'll be too soon."
Kali sat back, her empty food wrappers sitting in front of her. "You guys done?"
Donnie pushed around the ice in his cup with his straw. "We've been done awhile."
Raph snickered. "You eat too slow."
Kali reached over and slapped the back of his head. "Smartass. Where to now?"
Raph grabbed the map. "I need some new CD's."
"Well, there's a Sam Goody…" Kali said, stuffing her trash into her empty cup.
"I wanna check out the toy store," Mike said.
Don eyed a store across the way. "I would like to check out some software."
"Yeah, and I'd like to go back to that knife shop," Leo added.
Kali took the map back from Raph. "Okay, Sam Goody and KB Toys are right next to Hot Topic." She looked up at Don and Leo. "Can you two meet us there when you're done?"
They both nodded and stood. "But Don's got the card!" Mike cried.
Don glanced at Kali. "Can we pay you back?"
"Yeah," Kali agreed. "I just hope they don't tap me out. I have a limited budget."
Mike smiled. "I only want a couple things."
Raph tipped his hat. "I've got some cash."
***
Mike stood outside the doorway to Hot Topic. Raph walked over and waved a hand in front of his face. "You going in?"
"It's too freaky."
Raph chuckled. "Yeah, well, so are we. They have our T-shirts."
"Really?"
"Really. We're retro, dude."
Kali jumped when Raph tapped her on the shoulder. "Damn it, Raph, don't do that!"
He grinned and looked down at the green shirt in her arms. "Nice choice. Totally rad!"
Kali gave a half smile and turned back to the posters.
"Hey, they've got Johnny!"
Kali paused between posters and watched Raph pick up the latest issue of Johnny The Homicidal Maniac. She shook her head and turned to the discount rack.
"Didn't you get your ears pierced here?" Raph asked absently.
Kali twirled the blue studs in her upper ears. "Don't remind me."
She dumped her stuff on the counter and waited as the girl rang it up. Raph set his two comics on the pile.
"I ran out of cash," he whispered.
Kali sighed. "Add those, too."
"Do you have your frequent buyers card?" The cashier asked. Kali handed over the card and watched it get stamped.
Outside, Mike was still nervously eyeing the store, and Don and Leo had returned as well.
"Ready to go?" Kali asked, handing Raph his bag. They all nodded. Mike
picked up his bag and Don's as well. They headed for the doors, which Leo
held open again, and headed for the parking garage.