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My Precious Diary

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	10 Nov 2003 ---------------------- 12.31pm What is this world coming to?!! My mum called me up this morning. She left her job mainly due to the unhappiness that the job brings her. Yet in the end the employer still refuses to pay her in full. My mum wasn't very educated, but that doesn't mean she can be taken advantage of. Being uneducated wasn't her choice. She did not have the chance to study in the past. We are from poor families. My mum clearly told the supervisor about her resignation. She gave an advanced notice & expects the company to clear all her leave for her. The only mistake she make was she never ever made the verbal statement in black & white. This morning she went to the Ministry of Manpower to lodge a complaint. Yet nothing could be done to help her at all. The lady at MOM call me up at 11+am. She told me my mum's case. U know how disturbed I was? My mum cried. I couldn't even be there to stand up for her. She lost her wages but most importantly her condition wasn't very stable. She broke down... This isn't the 1st time that such things happened. If the companies were to need a formal notice, why couldn't the supervisor tell my mum to write a proper resignation letter? She could have come home & asked me write for her. Nothing have been said about paperwork & stuffs. How in the world do u gain people's respect & trust when your credits were bad in the 1st place? I told my mum , in future any job that u take up muz sign paper . This is to acknowledge the benefits that u are entitled. So even if the company was to cheat u of any money u can sue them with EVIDENCE. Not like now, no EVIDENCE. The lady at MOM told me everything has to be down in papers & pens. 'White paper Black pen' My mum was deprived of getting back her $166. $166 may seems minor to some. But it'z a lot to me & my family. I feel so useless at times. I couldn't even protect my family. I wish I could quit sch now to help out with the family. So that the burden on my mum is not so heavy... Sobz... 10 Nov 2003 ---------------------- 12.42am In yesterday's blog I was in such a down mood that I totally forgot to write about something I encountered on the nite of 7th Nov. It's so fustrating even at the thoughts of it. That was the day before my Computing paper. I was revising my Computing in front of my laptop when suddenly someone icq me. It's one of my classmates in sem one. Out of boredom, I decided to entertain him. We exchanged greetings & asked how each other has been doing during the past few papers. All was well until he started chiding me for not studying at all for my papers. I merely said I do not have faith in the papers I've taken only. It does not mean that I did not prepare for it. I just said if only I could pass I will be very glad liao... I juz wanted to move on & promote only. A very simple wish cuz I wanted very much to stay on in NTU. He kept insisting that I did not study. He said something like "it's alright if u dun study during normal sch days, dun go for tut/lect, go play, but at least muz study the day before the exam...". What the f*k?!! How in the world do u know I wasn't studying? Are u watching over me 24-7??? If not, pls do not ASSUME that I DID NOT STUDY. I muz admit I'm very playful, I'm a full-time slacker, I even slack during exam period. But all these does not mean I did not work hard for my exam. If u wanna know, okie... fine! I will type it all out. My 1st paper is EC. I piahed 3 consecutive nitez for my EC paper. I even consulted my JUNIOR when I dun understand any concepts. U can ask him if u dun believe. His name is ChangYao. He is very kind to spare time for me u know, considering him the 1st time to take this subject. At least he is not selfish enuff to ignore me. Then came Math 1A & 1B. I have tried my best to memorize all the formulae le... But guess what?!! This sem CRAMMER"S RULE wasn't tested on. COFACTOR came out instead. By the way, what makes u think that I dunno my crammer's rule well? So what if we need Crammer's rule in year 2? I can always flip back one... Dun everyone does that too??? I dun believe u dun... As for math 1B, I omoz give up le... But I manage to do a last min work with the help of kind Ah Dotz. She painstakingly went thru the whole of Part 2 - ODE with me in the middle of the nite in my room. She expained till very clear to me. I was lucky enuff to have her as a fren. HOWEVER, the whole batch of students in my exam hall found the paper hard. You can enquire with NanJun KorKor, StarStar ZhaoQuan, XieSheng, Doreen, Jason, ShiMin, LiPing, etc... By the way,FYI, I dun BLUFF!!! My 4th paper - Electronics I did not try my best for my Electronics paper. Cuz I kena back the Math 1B tutor I had one sem back. The way he teaches makes me wanna puke. Pui~ U try sitting in his tut class for one lesson & u will know. For Electronics, I studied with Vincz, CynCyn & Ah Dotz. We studied from 9pm to 2.30am. I only manage to digest half of MOSFET, three quarter of OP-AMP, a lil' on DIODE & some of BJT nia... Fortunately, the paper was mostly on OP-AMP & transistors. I wasn't sure I can pass but I definitely understand the questions. But if I still retake this subject, I will not push the blame cuz I really didn't work hard for it. Following Electronics is Chemistry on the next day. Another subject that I hate so much. Okie... for Chemistry I piah the whole nite with CynCyn, u can ask her how I work. Did I slack? I ask sooo many questions that she omoz wanna kill me. As what we had predicted, the paper is do-able. We even met Mike after the exam & we go Cafe Cartel eat lunch. Now Computing... If not for that stupid chat I think I would have done well... My last min jotting down of notes on my cheat paper helped me a lot with regards to this paper. The paper is do-able. If I dunno how to do I would have kill myself, becuz I spent 2 sems working hard for this subject. This HuiHui & Gabby or even perhaps CynCyn can vouch for me. She knows very well how I work. I wasn't the least bit unserious during tut & hand-ons period. U can ask them how serious I was, how much questions I bombed them & the tutors during class. I remembered on that fateful nite after the chat, I dunno how to differentiate btw char & *ap. So I turn to help online. This Junkie can help me clear my name I guess... I dun wanna say too much le... I feel that I 'wen xin wu kui'... I see no need in explaining too much. I'm writing this NOT becuz of U, is becuz of how affected I am & I wanna vent my anger on something so that i can move on with my revision on other subjects. However I wanna let out my steam in a POSITIVE manner. I dun wish to hurt the frenz around me by venting my anger on them. They are innocent parties, has got nothing to do with them. If u wanna pick a fight, I'm so sorry. I'm NOT the one u are looking for. I dun have the time to play with u. Cuz my time is more precious than yours as I need it to revise my work so that I dun da pao anymore & move on. I know I'm not as smart. I can't promote as easily as other people. But that doesn't mean I'm an easy target for picking a fight with. I do fight back at times & I'm pretty sure I can give back double the attack. Okie... I feel so shiok now... Cuz I have let out all my accumulated anger. I feel refreshed, recharged & motivated to do my revision for my last paper now. Even though Dynamics is very difficult. I will still try my best. I only have 2 days left liaoz... I know it can be quite disbelieving that I wanna work hard. Well it'z up to u to believe it or not. It has got nothing to do with me. I juz wanna get on with my life peacefully. By the way, work hard does not = sure pass. fail does not = neva work hard. Same logic as, pass does not = smart. smart does not = pass with 'A's Some are juz smart alex... Juz my 2-cents worth... Bleah... ;p

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