Final Fight Ends Relationship By Kairi Akira
June 18, 2002... it has finally come to an end. Everything... As if I died. All of my hopes, my dreams my life...It's all over. Just when I thought that she was mine forever. just when I gave her all my love...just when I've proven her my worth, I fought over many people who comes in our way, my friends, my family...I surrendered almost everything just to make her believe that I really do love her.
Do, I deserve to be hurt like this? Do I deserve to cry like this? I can't cry hard enough...There;s no more tears left to be cried...
She left me. The darkest day of my life. The reason she left me makes me cry even more, she said that she doesn't deserve a good guy like me. She said that she isn't the right girl for me. I was too perfect for her...I can't take it...with that very small reason which made me hurt even more. This is too much! I can't bear the pain in my heart.. I can't accept it! My heart cries in pain... She left me with no traces left...For the first time in my life, I cried all day all night. I can't eat, I can't sleep...I just can't take it... I cried so hard..even harder that anything else...I never have cried like this... never...
She was so perfect for me, she is the right girl that I can imagine being with forever. I loved her more than my self...more than my life... more than anything else.But, she fooled me...she lied to me...there were many words she told me that were all LIES!!!! Even her birthday...first she said that it was Feb. 21...but it was Aug. 21 then!!! She said that I'm the only one...BUT I'M NOT!!!
She said that she wanted to be with me forever...We've had plans in the future... We planned of having our own daughter...we even gave her a name..."UNIQUE". We have our own theme song...everytime I sang this song, I can't help my self but let the tears flow into my eyes, the song Forevermore. "There are times, when I just want to look at your face, with the stars in the night...there are times when I just want to feel your embrace, in a cold night...I just can't believe that you were mine now...." She love this song. this is the song I offered her as a sign of my sincerity and love. But now, I have another song for her...Tell me... "There were nights when I can't help but cry, and I wonder why you have to leave me... why did it have to end so soon, when you said that you would never leave me...tell me where did I go wrong, what did I do to make you change your mind completely, when I thought, this love would never end, but if this love is not ours to have, I'll let it go, with your goodbye." I really can't stop crying, right now, while I'm doing this, I never loved anyone like this in my life. I never loved someone so true, so big and so great.
For the final fight we've had...it was also a small reason why she got mad...yes, my hobby, chatting... I explained her that I'm just being friendly to everyone, she's so jealous... she was also chatting...she even let other guys court her on-line...but then, I'm not getting mad...but that doesn't mean that I'm not jealous...well, I am! For me, I'm letting her own conscience tell her if what she is doing is right or not.I was jealous each time she tells me about those guys who were courting her...I know, I'm not the best guy around...that's why I'm always reminding her how much I love her eventhou I'm only like this...
Now, where am I? who am I? She always reamind me of how special I am...She is the only person who finds me so special and gifted. I love her so much, that I'm willing to love her eventhou she doesn't love me anymore. I'm willing to Die for her. Up until the day I die, I will never, ever forget her. And I hope that she won't forget that there's one PAUL who once loved her trully. Nicole, if your reading this, there's only one thing I wanted to tell you..."You will never ever find someone who will love you the same way I loved you, You willl never find another Paul who trully loves you, never! I love you nicole...and I will always love you...that's my promise, and I'm keeping my promise, unlike you..... |
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