HOW TO REALLY LOVE A CHILD
a journal of a mothers love
December 1st, 2002
My fathers birthday was today.
When we got to the farm for his birthday party, (my parents house) I got to work looking for photo's from my parents parents wedding of 50 years ago. My sister, brother and I are planning a surprise party for their Golden Anniversary. FIFTY YEARS! They were childhood sweethearts, and then add 50 years to that. I think they are incredible!
Ravi arrived with my sis and brother in love, (thats what I call him!) shortly after we got there. OH!!!!! I was so happy to put my arms around him. I got so emotional that I cried hysterically for a few minutes, then later got ahold of myself and brought the girls outside to see Ravi. Lakshim...that little cutie...ran her legs so fast over to her brother. She was so happy to see him. Priya was happy too...and they all just hugged and fell on the ground together! I cried a bunch more then tried to calm down. It was so sweet! Ravi has grown...and while his hair has grown too, he did cut a bit of it from his bangs with sissors! When I asked him about it, he said, "how did you know mommy?" ; )
My sister drove us home, and she came in for a little while to visit. I started cutting cantaloup for the kids and almost cut my thumb off! It HURT so bad. So instinct told me to press on the cut and hold my thumb up high. Well...I went to the bathroom, and when I looked in the mirror, saw blood in my hair! Gezz luweez! I let my thumb bleed into my hair! I was just glad my sis...the nurse...was there and someone could baby me for a change. I was fine after about 10 minutes of bandaids and ice.
My sister brought me a few books which I will be reading. As I read them, I will share my opinions about them right here. But for now, here are the titles and the gist of each book. Enjoy.
The first book is Your Six-Year Old - Loving and Defiant, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. and Frances L. Ilg, M.D. from the Gesell Institute of Human Development. This book covers:
eadiness Checklist for entering school
Competiveness with friends and siblings
Girlfriends/Boyfriends
Eating Problems
Resistance to Bedtime
Lying
Toilet Accidents
There is a series of books that cover from your one year old to your ten to fourteen year old. Might be worth checking out, however you might have to look for them in the second hand book stores.
The next book is ENDANGERED: Your Child in a Hostile World, by Johann Christoph Arnold.
If you care about your children but sometimes feel like throwing up your hands, Endangered will renew your confidence that no matter how great the odds, the love you give them is still the most decisive factor. Every parent and educator wants to be more effective. Endangered will show you how, not by giving you childrearing tips, but by transforming the way you view children and empowering you to act on the innate wisdom you already possess.
The last book is Escape From Child-Hood: The Needs And Rights of Children, by who else by John Holt. This is also an old book, and you might best find it at a second hand book store.
Escape From Childhood is about EVERYBODY's Freedom! How often, under the guise of protection, are children kept in the "walled garden" of childhood, ouside the world of human experience?
The kids want to go for a walk. It is so beautiful outside right now..but a little too cold for me. However, the kids don't mind!
December 2nd, 2002.
Today started with me waking up to the sound of Ravi playing with his train. Ah....to open that door to his room that was empty for two weeks, and see Ravi there...was so heart warming. He smiled at me and said...mom...I'm hungry! Of course. He is ALWAYS hungry! Anyway, today has gone very nice, and we listened to Christmas music...particularly RAFFI: Christmas Album".
While Ravi was at my sisters house, a friend of hers...Aruna...gave Ravi a gift. It is Monopoly...but the online version. I haven't read the directions yet, but plan to. It looks fun. The girls are acting out alot today...as they were used to getting all the attention. It is hard to spread it around evenly. Even if you do, someone feels you didn't give them enough!
I am about to add Siblings Without Rivalry to my reading list. I am sure it will help me some. One thing I know alot of large families do is to take each child out without the others at least once a month. I used to do that when I had more "help". I have got to find a way to do that now.
Big news in our house these days is that Lakshmi is putting sentences together! Yippee! She struggles to do all the things that the other two kids have done without thought. It is hard for her, but she is a hard worker, and I am so proud of her! And the next best news is that Lakshmi and Priya are starting to really love each other, and have slowed down on the fighting that once used to fill every waking moment. I have gotten a few gray hairs from their fighting for sure! Now, I am letting most of the fighting go, except when there is blood involved! ; )
Soon, I will get a double sized bed to put in their room so they can start taking naps together. I just got a new dresser for them, and it has really helped with the clothing chaos. I used to keep all of their clothes in Ravi's closet, which became so clogged that I could never find anything. Now that they have their own dresser, I have all their shirts, pants, jumpers, socks, undies and such all organized. All the toys are now in their room too, except for Ravi's toys which are in his room. I love my living room being toy free! We have a basket in there and when toys congregate back into the living room, someone has to put all the toys back in their rooms!
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