| One Wednesday night during our lesson I began to have questions about God. The youth minister�s wife was teaching us about living the Christian life. In that moment it occurred to me that I really did not know what a Christian was. I finally mustered up the courage to ask her, �What is a Christian, and how does someone become a Christian.� She looked surprised at my question and everyone was silent. She explained that to become a Christian I had to ask Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. She said if I would believe in my heart that Jesus gave his life, and died for my sin, and that He arose from the dead I could be saved. |
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| During the next few days I thought a lot about how I could become a Christian. Since I had been going to church I had started to act like a Christian, and people always told me I was a great kid. But as I pondered I found that their must be something more. Their had to something more to being a Christian than living a good life or going to church. I could not get to heaven by on my own effort. How could I go before a holy God? This is when I began to understand that Jesus was the only way that I could get to heaven. This same Jesus that I had heard about, died for me. He died in my place, and could do this because he was perfect and could take on Himself the sin of the whole world at His death. This is how I can be forgiven in the presence of God. Not only did He die, but He arose and is alive today! His death set me free from sin, and His resurrection presages the wonderful life He is free to give to all who will believe. |
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| It was not long after this occurrence that one Sunday morning I went and found the pastor and told him I wanted to become a Christian. I remember my heart being so burdened. He told my that nothing forbade me from becoming a Christian |
| and receiving eternal life. All I had to do was believe in Jesus for my salvation. That day I found forgiveness of my sin and Jesus gave me a new life and He gave me a place in heaven as one of His children. O how great is the love the Father has lavished upon us that we should be called the sons� and daughters� of God! |
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| Life continued and I began to learn many things concerning the Lord and my relationship to Him. I learned the importance of reading the Bible, and prayer, and serving others in the Lord. I also learned that I am not perfect. During my teenage years I fell into sin and for a long time thought that I was not really a Christian. My thoughts on this were that if I was really a Christian then I would not engage in the sin that I found myself in. This affliction on my life |
| remained for such a long time because I was afraid to open up and share my struggles in my walk with Christ. I feared the displeasure of those to whom I might share my dilemma. God used this for His glory even so; For it was during this time that I grew more in my relationship and walk than any other time. Since I refused to share with others I had to search the Scriptures for myself. This helped me to learn about many things concerning sin and redemption, and how God views His children in light of our sinful nature, the forgiveness of God, and the life of sacrifice He has called His children to live. This was the most intricate part of my life to the present. I was in turmoil day and night; My thoughts of lostness and failure persisted without any hope of imminent gain. In time I began to seek the counsel of others; however, I will not elaborate on this here (for more on this click here). |
| As life went on other events began to unfold. During my junior year of high school my dad got put in jail for having a Meth lab and for possession of stolen property. He was part of an underground drug organization known as �Zavala�. The newspaper said that the FBI had been on the case for years. This resulted in my family being dispersed. Over the period of the next year and half I had to send my brother to the Big Oak Boys� Ranch because me or my family were not able to take care of him. My sister suffering from much apprehension quit school, and began to work. My mother began at first by finding a job, but time revealed that she was not cognitively or physically able to maintain such a burden. She eventually was without a home. My sister and I found her a place to stay, but this did not satisfy her. |
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| This is my life.... (continued) |