Top Ten Ways Doctor Visits Would be Different if They Treated People Like Cats

(9/2/02)

You're told to cut high fat meats like mice out of your diet.
The doctor would give you a pill and tell you to wrap it in bologna before administering it to yourself.
The magazines in the waiting room are for sitting on.
After every physical, you'd get new tags.
To help your stress, the doctor recommends that you try to sleep 18 hours per day.
You'd have to provide a urine sample as a clump of sand.
Instead of using insect repellent spray to keep bugs off of you, the doctor would give you small amount of liquid to put on the back of your neck
You'd never do anything the doctor tells you to. (Oh, wait, doesn't that happen anyway?)
Instead of getting a prescription for "the pill", you'd just get spayed.
You think you're getting a manicure, and you come out with no fingernails at all.

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