|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top Ten Reasons the U.S. Didn't Beat Germany in the World Cup
- Couldn't wake up at 6:30 a.m. to play.
- Didn't have access to performance-enhancing weinerschnitzel.
- Hey, we beat them in the wars; that's what really counts, right?
- The Americans were forced to obey speed limits while the Germans played as fast as they wanted.
- Americans expected them to all look like Seargent Schultz.
- They were afraid of catching German measles.
- Didn't put David Hasselhoff on the roster to distract adoring German fans.
- Germany stills holds a grudge against American beer companies for producing such inferior products.
- Couldn't stand being near players whose breath smelled like sauerkraut.
- They dressed like the French.
Return to Top Ten Archive
Home
