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Top Ten Signs That You Won't Win the World Cup
- You keep trying to pick up the ball and throw it at the other players to get them out.
- Your country ends in "guay" or "gal".
- More than one of your players is married to a Spice Girl.
- Every player on your team who misses a kick gets assassinated by drug lords in your home country.
- After getting a yellow card, you ask the referee what it takes to get a green card.
- You have less than two players on your team whose name ends in "aldo".
- Your fans won't get up at 3:00 a.m. to watch you play.
- You've headed the ball so many times, Adidas is permanently imprinted on your forehead.
- Your hooligans dress as Germans and they still don't intimidate the French.
- You run out of breath saying "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!"
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