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Top Ten Signs That You Won't Win the Indianapolis 500
- You start your car with a hand crank.
- Your religion prevents you from handling a loose race car.
- You forget your race car and pull onto the track in your Plymouth Voyager.
- When they announce "Gentlemen, Start Your Engines", you raise your hand and ask "Does that mean me too?"
- You keep thinking "I wish there were signs out here to tell me which way to turn".
- When your crew chief says "we're going to change right rear rubber", you reply "Hey! I ain't into that!"
- When your car develops a "push", it means you have actually gotten out of the car to push it.
- You injure yourself while practicing climbing the fence.
- Your pit stall is designated "self-serve".
- You're last name is Andretti.
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