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Top Ten Ways That "Lord of the Rings" Would Be Different If It Were Written by Tom Clancy
- The Fellowship would refer to the lidless eye as "Ivan".
- Gandalf would have been rescued from Orthanc by helos.
- Frodo would be referred to in the CIA by his cover name, "Mr. Underhill".
- "Sting" would have been a .45 with a silencer.
- Gandalf would advise "Some of these orcs don't react well to swords."
- Instead of a dagger, the Ringwraiths stab Frodo with a Ka-Bar.
- Saruman would have used his army to distribute heroin.
- Instead of fireworks, Bilbo's birthday party would feature five-inch gunfire.
- Instead of becoming "Gandalf the White", he would become "General Gandalf".
- The CIA would deny that the Ring had ever existed.
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