Jersey Jack Newsbits
By JJG reporter Richard Jameson

-- It is reported that The Spunky Lobster is on thin ice with JJG's front office after failing to report to work on the last Big Bang. This is in spite of the fact that the Lobster's plane was delayed due to a terrorist threat. At this point, there is some disagreement among the booking committee: Some argue that the Lobster's massive popularity and exclusive contract with JJG make him a great asset, while others call into question his ability to entertain the way he did years ago, when last he competed in a wrestling ring.

-- Perpetual troublemaker Preston Mayfield was likewise absent from work on Wednesday, but faces no repurcussions. One official was quoted as saying "Mayfield is beloved in New Jersey. Firing him would be P.R. suicide." Rumors state that Mayfield is in rehab following an episode in which the grappler was found 'in front of Atlantic City Mayor Lorenzo Langford's doing inappropriate things with a dog.' These rumors are currently unconfirmed, but, if true, could cause some problems for JJG owner Ron Strickland.

-- Massive protests occurred outside of the JJG offices in Atlantic City Thursday night over JJG's employment of the Arab grappler known to some as "The Sword of God". They were demanding that Abdul Oman Al Rippa, a wrestler with an Anti-American gimmick, be let go by the company. When reached for comment Ron Strickland was quoted as saying "Al Rippa hasn't done anything wrong except for breaking a few rules in the wrestling ring. He's not a terrorist, and you people need to lighten up a little bit already." Police dispersed the gathering after a protester threw a rock, breaking out one of the office's plate glass windows.

-- Further controversy for JJG as New Jersey area Christian leaders condemn the JJG front office for their employment of both Al Rippa and the Judge. Parson Brady of Trenton's Church of the Trinity was quoted as saying "This Al Rippa person is everything that our Christian soldiers are fighting against, and the Judge, while his heart may be in the right place, portrays our faith as intolerant. We will not rest until both these men are taken off the airwaves."

After a week of heavy controversy and a lot of drama, JJG officials refused to comment on the church's position.


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