"These newsletters are starting to become nag sessions, where I bear all my grievances…" - Justin

For upcoming fixtures, past newsletters, our illustrious history and more…

Season 3 Record

Matches Played: 14
Matches Won: 5
Matches Lost: 5
Matches Drawn: 4
Goals For: 51
Goals Against: 43
Goal Difference: +8
Bonus Points: 10
Total Points: 38

Points System:
Win = 4 points
Draw = 2 points
Bonus Point = 3 goals

Overall Record

Matches Played: 46
Matches Won: 14
Matches Lost: 27
Matches Drawn: 5
Goals For: 143
Goals Against: 206
Goal Difference: -63

Season-by-Season

Final position at the end of each season:

1 (2002): Div 6 - Last
2 (2002): Div 7 - Third
3 (2003): Div 5 - Fourth

"Platinum Moccasin"

More prestigious than the seasonal "Golden Boot" award, this honour is bestowed upon the player who has kicked the most number of goals in the brief, yet illustrious history of the All Hacks!

49 - Alan
17 - Ajay
15 - Adrian
14 - Sung
11 - Alain
5 - Chi, Francis, Maal, Thanh
3 - Peter
2 - Alex, Gerald, Justin, Kheang, Shan
1 - Abi, Ian, Mak, Siwei

The "Dunce Cap"

Like the "baggy green" of the Australian cricket team, the All Hacks also have their own traditional head accessory, the "dunce cap".

Each cap is numbered to represent the order in which each individual has played for the All Hacks.

Where does your favourite player stand in the proud history of the All Hacks?

01 - Alain (0,26)
02 - Francis (0,17)
03 - Huy (0,3)
04 - Ian (0,12)
05 - Justin (14,42)
06 - Keong (13,28)
07 - Peter (9,35)
08 - Shaun (1,26)
09 - Sung (10,38)
10 - Adrian (9,33)
11 - Chi (0,11)
12 - Danny (0,19)
13 - Gerald (0,5)
14 - Justin (Scrub) (0,3)
15 - Simon (0,3)
16 - Nick (0,3)
17 - Shan (0,4)
18 - Alex (0,2)
19 - Alan (14,30)
20 - Rob (0,3)
21 - Jonathan (0,1)
22 - Masum (0,2)
23 - Marco (0,3)
24 - Thanh (13,27)
25 - Sam (0,1)
26 - Sandy (0,2)
27 - Siwei (0,1)
28 - Abhrajit (Abi) (10,13)
29 - Ajay (10,19)
30 - Mak (1,1)
31 - Fong (2,2)
32 - Kheang (3,3)
33 - Maal (7,7)
34 - Justin (Spikey) (1,1)

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All Hacks FC

Season Autumn/Winter 2003

Welcome to the Autumn/Winter 2003 season of Indoor Soccer. Since our great efforts in reaching the Division 7 Preliminary Final last year, the All Hacks have been "promoted" to Division 5 (i.e. this season's lowest division). We have a lot of ground to catch up over the next few rounds, following our involuntary "forfeits" of our first two games. To conjure a positive out of a negative situation, at least we didn't concede any goals from our forfeited matches (but we didn't score any either!).

Squad: Abi (GK), Adrian, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Keong, Peter, Shaun, Thanh

After an extended off-season, the All Hacks were a bit rusty in their opening encounter. Abi re-invented himself over the summer break, finding a new home off the field, and on the field as our starting goal-keeper. Abi's saves on goal during the game seemed effortless (in the complimentary sense!), including a brilliant penalty save, however some indecisive passes and turnovers cost us dearly.

The All Hacks led early in the first half, following great goals from Adrian and Alan, however the opposition capitalised on our brief lapses and surged to an insurmountable 3 goal lead midway through the second half. In true All Hacks fashion, we clawed back the deficit to just one goal courtesy of a brilliant strike from Ajay. With two minutes to play, the All Hacks looked a real threat to equalise, however our greatest opponent, time, beat us again.

Flashback to the All Hacks' debut match, and I recall our motivation speech was along the lines of this: "I want to see everyone give their 100% all, or else I will f**king spew!" Well, yours truly wasn't feeling and performing at 100%, so you work out the rest. Let's keep this season's "emesis toll" down fellas!

2 - Adrian, Alan
1 - Ajay

The All Hacks began the match with the interchange bench empty, and amazingly the reason wasn't due them rushing to be involved in an on-field brawl. Decimated by a few late withdrawals, and the appalling punctuality of Abi!, the All Hacks did not have the luxury of the use of substitutes for the entire first half.

Squad: Adrian, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Mak, Sung, Thanh

Nevertheless, the All Hacks battled on courageously, and the match evolved into a war of attrition. Wary of the need to conserve our energy for the full 34 minutes, the All Hacks mixed possession football with bursts of attacking forays. The All Hacks had more scoring opportunities in the first half, however both sides were solid in defence and the match was still dead-locked at half-time.

After playing the first half on pure adrenaline and prescription medication, Sung took refuge in the sick bin during half-time, (i.e. the gents), and an anonymous substitute (known later as Mak) was called upon to replace the incapacitated. The match opened up in the second half, with the All Hacks drawing first blood from a superb effort by Alan. The opposition soon levelled, however the All Hacks regrouped and regained the lead with a brilliant angled strike from the mysterious substitute.

The All Hacks had several chances to seal the victory, including a seemingly great goal from Adrian that was harshly disallowed by the unpredictable referee. Unfortunately, with a minute to go, the All Hacks devastatingly conceded the equaliser. In the final seconds, a last gasp feeble attempt in front of goal from yours truly ensured the match ended in an honourable draw.

3 - Alan
2 - Adrian
1 - Ajay, Mak

The All Hacks welcomed two new players: Fong and Kheang to bolster our team and allow a few of our teammates the opportunity to briefly rest on the interchange bench (for some, indefinitely!) during the match. Abi also made a timely entrance, arriving fully attired to hit the nightclub scene after the match.

Squad: Abi (GK), Adrian, Alan, Fong, Justin, Keong, Kheang, Sung, Thanh

With the return of Alan's favourite referee adjudicating the match, the All Hacks started firm favourites to win the heart of the referee and subsequently, the match. However, the opposition scored first with a strike that slipped past Abi's hands (must have been due to the greasy residue from Abi's hair gel). The All Hacks regrouped, and after two penalty conversions from Adrian, both sneaking between the legs of the opposing goalie, the All Hacks took the lead. However, our lead was short-lived, with two defensive mishaps allowing the opposition to first level, and then surge ahead. With a few minutes left in the first half, Kheang bursted along the right wing unopposed, and from an acute angle, slotted the ball pass the opposing goalie's right hand to cap off a brilliant solo effort.

The frenzied pace of the first half began to take its toll in the second, with the opposition making careless tackles in front of the whistle-happy referee. The All Hacks had opportunities to regain the lead, however suffered a bout of the contagious yips in front of goal. Our missed penalty chances and a calamitous error in defence allowed C.F. Adonis the chance to steal an unlikely victory. With a minute to go, a superb half-court throw from Keong allowed Alan to turn his opponent inside-out and score the equaliser.

4 - Adrian, Alan
1 - Ajay, Kheang, Mak

The All Hacks waited and waited for Sung to arrive at the game, however his alarm clock didn't sound off, and he dozed through the entire match (it was the volume button, of course!). However, Sung's absence was offset by Ajay's impulse decision to return this week for the All Hacks.

Squad: Abi, Ajay, Alan, Fong, Justin, Keong (GK), Kheang, Peter, Thanh

The All Hacks conceded the opening goal early in the match, however dominated the rest of the half with several promising attacking plays. The All Hacks equalised through Ajay's great ball controlling skills, who tip-toed around several defenders to poke the ball through traffic and into the unguarded goal. A penalty opportunity minutes later was calmly converted by Thanh, who slotted the ball via the textbook All Hacks method, i.e. between the goalie's stretched legs.

The All Hacks consistently exposed the opposition's defence during the second half, however the All Hacks' umpteen attempts (at last count it was seven) were cruelly denied by the crossbar and side-posts. To borrow a line from the classics: "We had more "posters" than in a teenage girl's bedroom." Entering "red time" (i.e. three minutes to go) and pressing for the sealer, the All Hacks consulted the Jana Novotna textbook of finishing matches for some guidance, and as a result, conceded two goals in the blink of an eye to suffer a despairing defeat.

4 - Adrian, Alan
2 - Ajay
1 - Kheang, Mak, Thanh

In a match reminiscent of David vs Goliath, the All Hacks, who came into the match languishing on the bottom of Division 5 (i.e. the bottom league) met the current trend-setters and league leaders, Clayton Pride. With the season slowly ebbing away, a victory was crucial in resurrecting the All Hacks' finals aspirations.

Squad: Abi, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Peter, Sung, Thanh

With Justin volunteering to be first-watch to keep the bench warm on an otherwise cold, frosty night, the All Hacks began positively and seemed to have had the ball tethered to their feet. Abi was on the end of a series of short passes and slick ball control, and he nonchalantly dabbed the ball past the opposing goalie to score the opening goal. Our lead was short-lived however, as Clayton Pride equalised soon after. The defence of both teams tightened up, however the opportunistic Thanh pounced on a Clayton Pride defensive bungle and scored a thumping goal after the ball was literally served to him on a silver platter by several bewildered opposing players. It was just like picturing Lucy van Pelt hold the football up for Charlie Brown, but with Charlie Brown actually succeeding in kicking the ball through for a goal!

The All Hacks' miserly defence was threatened several times in the second half, but was repelled on countless times by Alan's tremendous efforts to provide a last-man tackle in defence. After last week's heart-breaking fade-out, the All Hacks were determined to consolidate their slender lead. In a bizarre and comical passage of play, the All Hacks fortuitously received a penalty after the ball ended up cradled in an opposition player's arms. Alan regained his composure on the penalty spot, and converted to give the All Hacks a 2-goal buffer. In the final minutes, a great solo effort from Alan sealed a great, morale-boosting victory for the All Hacks.

6 - Alan
4 - Adrian
2 - Ajay, Thanh
1 - Abi, Kheang, Mak

Let's not mince around with words here: we were simply intimidated and out-muscled by the yobbos of That's Us.

Squad: Abi, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Kheang, Peter, Sung, Thanh

After a great start to the match where we matched the opposition with their intensity, our endeavours were rewarded with the opening goal. However, we too quickly and easily relinquished our control over the match by conceding two quick goals in the blink of an eye, and from then on played catch-up football for the remainder of the match. Our defence was exposed countless times, but thankfully Alan's three, nerveless penalty conversions kept the All Hacks within reach of That's Us.

Trailing 3-4, and approaching the final buzzer, a passage (i.e. 2 seconds) of inspired play began when Kheang accepted a penetrating half-court throw from Keong. Guarded against a few defenders, a quick snap for goal on the run from Kheang saw the All Hacks unbelievably draw level with That's Us. In the final, cruel twist to the match, and with less than 90 seconds to play, the All Hacks were adjudged to have committed a foul in defence. The resultant goal from That's Us drove the nail into the All Hacks' coffin, and epitomised the All Hacks' traditional second-half fighting spirit and unfortunate last-minute blunders.

9 - Alan
4 - Adrian
2 - Ajay, Kheang, Thanh
1 - Abi, Mak

The match of the round in Division 5 saw the sixth-placed All Hacks face the fifth-placed Mad Skillz in the battle of the cellar-dwellers. The All Hacks welcomed back Adrian and Ajay to bolster our attack for the all-important encounter.

Squad: Abi, Adrian, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Peter, Sung, Thanh

The All Hacks controlled the tempo of the match, mixing deft passes with scintillating shots on goal. The All Hacks raced to a 5-1 lead, via Alan's numerous (I lost count after three!) Beckham-esque swerving free kicks that bamboozled the opposition goalkeeper and a memorable Zidane-esque roundhouse shot on goal by Adrian. Brief lapses of concentration in defence in the second half allowed Mad Skillz to sneak in two goals to cause some anxious moments in the All Hacks' camp. However, the All Hacks steadied with goals to Alan, Sung and Ajay in the closing minutes that sealed a much-deserved victory for the All Hacks.

Our eight-goal haul was reflected in our renewed enthusiasm for the sometimes cruel game of soccer, and to a some extent via the opposition goal-keeper crumbling under the All Hacks' intense and relentless pressure in attack. In moments that defied the law of physics, the opposition goalie unbelievably managed to save a shot directly in front on goal from yours truly, but caressed and nursed a strike from Sung from deep in the corner into the goal. Well, the law of averages would suggest I'll score a goal soon! No sour grapes here, it's the team that counts!

13 - Alan
5 - Adrian
4 - Ajay
2 - Kheang, Thanh
1 - Abi, Mak, Sung

Depleted with players completing overdue assignments, involved in family engagements, saving the world from disaster, etc., the All Hacks, for various reasons were struggling to field a side for the vital clash again fellow finals aspirants, C.F. Adonis. When adversity strikes the All Hacks, opportunity beckons - and Ajay brought along his indoor soccer pal, Maal to fill the sixth spot in the line-up. With no substitutes to call upon during the match, our stamina and endurance were tested to the limits of human capacity.

Squad: Ajay, Alan, Justin (GK), Maal, Peter, Thanh

With our regular goalkeeper Keong and reserve keepers Sung and Abi unavailable; Justin, Thanh and Peter shared the goal-keeping and defensive duties for the match. In a subdued opening to the encounter, both teams traded possession with few shots on goal. The tempo and intensity lifted midway through the first half, with Alan scoring from a brilliant swerving free kick. Our hard work was soon undone, as C.F. Adonis equalised from a quick fast-break that exposed our sleeping defence.

Maal was a revelation up forward, and a great running goal early in the second half gave the All Hacks a brief moment of ascendancy. However, scores were soon level again after a fortuitous mis-kick from a C.F. Adonis striker trickled into our goal. The trickle soon threatened to become an avalanche, as C.F. Adonis took the lead for the first time in the match with less than seven minutes to go.

With our interchange bench of none cheering us on, the All Hacks staged a momentous comeback to regain the lead with goals to Maal and Alan, each stamped with class. Alan's second free kick goal was conjured from a well-engineered plan devised by Thanh, which involved his solid build providing a screen which blind-sided the opposition goalie, and brilliantly executed to perfection by Alan's penetrating strike. Ajay sealed a gutsy victory with a goal just before the final buzzer, capping off one of the best (and we haven't had many!) All Hacks victories ever.

15 - Alan
5 - Adrian, Ajay
2 - Kheang, Maal, Thanh
1 - Abi, Mak, Sung

The All Hacks went from inspired to insipid in the space of one week. How one week is such a long time in football! Justin "Spikey" made his long overdue debut for the All Hacks, and quickly learned that amateur indoor soccer in the rough stadiums of South East surburbia is not a past-time for the faint-hearted.

Squad: Abi, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Justin (Spikey), Keong (GK), Maal, Sung, Thanh

A penalty conversion from Alan within the first minute of play saw the All Hacks take the early lead. Scoring opportunities were scarce from both sides, and the score remained one-nil for the rest of the first half.

Just when the All Hacks were beginning to tighten the noose in the second half and run down the clock with over 10 minutes to go, F.C. Sambos Utd. broke free and crushed the spirit of the All Hacks to score three demoralising goals. The All Hacks could not find any avenue to goal, and were powerless to prevent our nemesis, F.C. Sambos Utd. from strolling to a comfortable victory.

16 - Alan
5 - Adrian, Ajay
2 - Kheang, Maal, Thanh
1 - Abi, Mak, Sung

Diagnosed with the "Jekyll and Hyde" syndrome, the All Hacks went from pretenders to contenders in the space of one week. How one week is such a long time in football (again)!

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Peter, Thanh

Since our previous encounter with our opponents - a stunning victory to the All Hacks - Clayton Pride suffered a mid-season slump, which saw them drop from first place to fifth. Clayton Pride's form slump continued this week, as the All Hacks dominated the first half with crisp, precise passes and clinically executed plays. Alan set the ball rolling with two first half goals, and Adrian chimed in with a great goal from a Clayton Pride defensive mix-up.

The All Hacks' complacency was our greatest enemy in the second half, as Clayton Pride slipped through our defence and had several genuine chances to score. Clayton Pride were unable to convert their opportunities, and the All Hacks steadied with brilliant goals to Maal and Ajay. Maal was in wizardry touch, twirling around opponents with total control of the ball. With the result in no doubt, and victory celebrations beginning on the field, Alan had a stint as goalie. Unfortunately, our defensive experiment needs some more refinement, as Alan's miniature body surface area could not absorb the pressure of Clayton Pride in the last minute of play, and the opposition scored a timely consolation goal. A minor blot to an otherwise immaculate performance from the All Hacks!

18 - Alan
6 - Adrian, Ajay
3 - Maal
2 - Kheang, Thanh
1 - Abi, Mak, Sung

In this week's match, the All Hacks were up against the runaway leaders of Division 5, That's Us; and faced a tough task in hanging on to the much-coveted last spot in the finals race.

Squad: Abi, Adrian, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Peter, Sung, Thanh

With Sunday drivers terrorising the roads and delaying the arrival of several key players, the All Hacks assembled a makeshift starting line-up with players in unfamiliar positions (i.e. I'm not warming the bench!). The All Hacks conceded three goals in the first ten minutes of the match and a demoralising drubbing looked inevitable. The All Hacks settled into more familiar territory with the arrival of Alan and Keong late in the first half, and instantly looked more assured in possession. Alan's appearance did not go unnoticed by his favourite referee, and his presence on the field was rewarded with a penalty (he was also tripped in the process). Alan's conversion suddenly changed the whole complexion of the match. The momentum of the game shifted, and the All Hacks created great chances to score in the closing stages of the first half, but was only denied by the crossbar on several occasions. Although the All Hacks trailled by 3 goals to 1, the tide was turning...

In the opening minutes of the second half, Alan scored a brilliant goal from long range to narrow the margin to one goal. The All Hacks continued to keenly fight for possession, and with confidence building, began to expose the opposition defence. Seizing an opportunity to attack, Thanh fully obliged with a great assist to yours truly, which was incredibly not fumbled by my (t)rusty left foot directly in front of goal. The All Hacks played inspired soccer in the second half, and further goals to Alan saw the All Hacks lead and heading for a remarkable victory. However, a That's Us striker managed to sneak a goal through three defenders to equalise in the final stages of the match. Although the All Hacks did not take home full points, our draw against the top team of the league edges us closer to securing a finals berth.

22 - Alan
6 - Adrian, Ajay
3 - Maal
2 - Kheang, Thanh
1 - Abi, Justin, Mak, Sung

Starting the match as slight favourites, the All Hacks were wary not to underestimate the determination of a wooden spoon team in Mad Skillz, as we were in a similar situation only a few seasons ago. (It only just seems yesterday...)

Squad: Abi, Adrian, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Sung, Thanh

The All Hacks startled the opposition early, with three goals in the first eights minutes of play from the dynamic duo of Ajay and Maal, virtually setting up the victory for the All Hacks. The All Hacks cruised through the rest of the half, creating numerous chances to score. However, Mad Skillz managed to sneak through a goal late in the first half to keep the contest alive.

Mad Skillz played more aggressively in the second half, and through luck and skill the All Hacks were able to absorb their pressure. In a scrappy second half, the All Hacks finally put the match beyond the reach of Mad Skillz, with Ajay finishing off a great passage of play in the final minutes of the match.

22 - Alan
8 - Ajay
6 - Adrian
5 - Maal
2 - Kheang, Thanh
1 - Abi, Justin, Mak, Sung

Despite both teams assured of a finals position (unless we're the victims of match-fixing), this week's match did not lack any intensity expected of a dead-rubber contest.

Squad: Abi, Adrian, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Sung, Thanh

In a nutshell, both teams squandered numerous chances to score. With more efficient passing, C.F. Adonis looked the more threatening to score, but the All Hacks defended courageously and repelled many attacks on our goal.

The deadlock was broken midway into the second half, as an illegal back-pass by C.F. Adonis allowed Alan to convert the ensuing penalty. Our lead was short-lived however, as a C.F. Adonis striker broke free and equalised moments later. With honours even at full-time, both teams had a solid preparation for the upcoming finals series.

23 - Alan
8 - Ajay
6 - Adrian
5 - Maal
2 - Kheang, Thanh
1 - Abi, Justin, Mak, Sung

Eager to break our finals hoodoo and win our first ever finals match, the All Hacks had to first overcome our nemesis of Division 5, F.C. Sambos Utd. in a cut-throat elimination semi-final. With Abi stranded at work and Thanh hobbling on one leg, the remaining All Hacks squad played to their limits against a team that seemed to have a few extra unauthorised players superior of a Division 5 calibre in their line-up.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Alan, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Peter, Sung

The All Hacks matched our opponents in intensity in the opening stages of the match, closing off any attacking moves from the played dubbed "#5", who tore apart our defence in our previous encounters. "#5" had little impact in attack, however F.C. Sambos Utd. had other surprise attackers who troubled our defence, which faltered under pressure to concede the first two goals of the match. The All Hacks re-grouped and several promising plays later, earned a penalty which Alan calmly converted. The All Hacks trailed 2-1 at half-time, but were well and truly in the contest.

Needing a victory to progress through to the next stage of the finals, the All Hacks unfortunately conceded an early goal in the second half. With the season quickly fading away, the All Hacks threw caution to the wind in search for more goals. Several attempts came beggingly close, however two more goals from the opposition snuffed out any hope of a fairytale victory.

24 - Alan
8 - Ajay
6 - Adrian
5 - Maal
2 - Kheang, Thanh
1 - Abi, Justin, Mak, Sung