Your Humble Narrators
Name: Justin A. Hand
Home town: Portland, OR
Evil Equivalent: Count Chocula
Shoes: has some
Love of Elven Third-world Dictators: But of course.
Favorite Deity: Thomas Brinkerhoff

Email: [email protected]
AIM: Mongolstud
Name: Reverend Adam Steinbaugh
Home town: Boulder, CO
Evil: Slim to none.
Sacchsen: What's a?
Favorite Saying: Zot!
Occupation: Professional oiler of wrestlers, lumberjacks and other big muscular men

Email: [email protected]
AIM: Revwestside
Our Credo
No, not a guido silly. A credo. We here at EvilHand have standards, too. Sort of. Basically, we're here to amuse you and relieve some of our own boredom. Like Joe over to your right, we like to laugh, too. Hopefully, after you view this site you'll somewhat resemble our Italian friend.
   Maybe not a mobster with lots of drugs and money, but at least the smile and bad hair. Humor, however, is not our only goal. We're both very opinionated and don't really like to back down from our views for anyone. Unfortunately, our views aren't really about anything that important. While I'm sure we could put our minds and mouths to work debating abortion and anti-terrorist strategy, we actually just fight about why Superman sucks compared to Batman and how Cheap Trick rules. It's not that simple, but just about. We hope that you're enjoying the website and that you will feel free to write in or instant message us and let us know what you thought. Negative feedback is appreciated along with the positive (if we get any of that). If you have humorous pictures for the gallery, good writing for the rants/entertainment sections or you just want to gripe, don't hesitate to email us. So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Yours truly,
Justin A. Hand
At this point, I'd like to let the bastard in me (which is a pretty large percentage of me) take over writing for a minute. I don't know why I let Adam remain as one of the narrators. He hasn't done a god damn thing for this site except be the butt of many a joke. But who cares. No one even reads this site anyway, because there's nothing to read; just pretty pictures. I didn't have the heart to take his picture and bio off, but then who gives a shit because none of you will notice, that's for damn sure. So anyway, I guess I just wanted to give myself credit. That is all.
Staff:

Editor-in-Chief
Justin A. Hand

A&E Writer
Justin Hand

Butt-of-many-jokes
Reverend Adam Steinbaugh

Opinions Columnist
J-Money Hizzand

Savior
Matt Harper

Photo Editor
J.A. Hand

My-personal-dorm-room-Lucifer
Davey Mangles Huet

Eccentric Novelist
J. Allen Handerson

On Campus God
Thomas "Zeus" Brinkerhoff
Resident Hippy/Stoner
Eric Dresch

Comic Book/Film Advisor
Sir William "Dudeman" McHewitt

Evil
Satan himself w/ Minister of Pain, George W. Bush

All of the work done by
Justin Allen Hand

Financial Consultant
Darth Vader
Productions
Winners of:
Name: Milla "McHot" Jovovich
Home town: uh...Fifth Element
Evil: She's a witchy woman
Favorite Saying: Mul-tee-pass!
Thin, orange bands instead of clothes: favors
Sex with Justin: better than anything else, even sex

Email: n/a
See her movies and ogle her!

Movie Star/Justin's Girlfriend
Milla Jovovich

God of Destruction
Handor, Claimer of Souls

Special thanks to:
-Friends and family who make me a little more sane
-Ex-Girlfriends and assholes for rage
-Puppies, flowers and candy...
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

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