| Part I Beep. Beep. Beep. Lance groaned and shifted from his sleeping position to face the table beside the bed. His hand reached out blindly to feel along the table, groping awkwardly for the object that had disturbed his sleep. Lance felt his boyfriend stir in his arms and couldn�t resist the smile that crossed his face. �Josh, babe, you awake?� Lance could almost see JC smile sleepily in reply, even though the darkness made it impossible to focus on JC�s profile. Slowly, gently, Lance removed his arm from under JC before sitting up and running a hand wearily across his face. Now fully awake, the blond stretched and pulled himself out of the bed noiselessly. He was silent as he moved to flick the table lamp on, due to his many years of practice. The artificial light filled the room and Lance had to blink a few times to get himself orientated. JC rolled on to his side and propped his chin up on his elbow, eyeing Lance critically through sleep-clouded eyes. �You�re home, baby, leave the mysterious stuff for work.� Lance grinned and nodded, motioning for JC to go back to sleep. Obediently, JC lay his head back down on the pillow as Lance grabbed the object in question � his pager. The minute he saw the number blinking on his pager screen, Lance inhaled sharply, causing JC to look up stridently at his boyfriend�s gasp. �What�s wr- it�s him, isn�t it?� Lance sighed then, dropping the pager onto the table with a clatter. With a frustrated �Yeah� to JC, he left the room quietly, heading for the phone to return the urgent call. In private. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ �Hello?� �Bass here.� �James, there�s a new mission. I have another target for you. Come down here immediately. It�s urgent.� If the man on the other end of the line was surprised by Lance�s quick call, he hid it well. His voice was as brusque, clipped and harsh as usual and Lance was more than tempted to slam the phone down when he heard the man�s last sentence. It�s ALWAYS friggin� URGENT. Forget that, dammit! I�m sick of all this shit. It�s my frickin� day OFF! �It�s my day off,� Lance said flatly, his tone remaining neutral, emotionless, betraying nothing close to the fury and bubbling anger he felt coursing through his very being. �I don�t give a shit if it�s your day off, your grandmother�s funeral, whatever. You get your ass down here. This can�t wait. You have to get here, NOW. And that�s an order!� The phone went dead. Lance cursed, but slid the receiver back into its cradle. He sighed, feeling energy fade from his body. He didn�t want to leave the house � scratch that � he didn�t want to leave JC, not in the middle of the night, not EVER. Yet, what choice did he have? Reluctantly, Lance picked himself up off of the couch and went back into his bedroom, feeling a smile on his face when he saw JC�s expectant pose on the bed. JC�s face fell as soon as Lance�s features were visible in the warm, dim light spilling from the lamp. �So.� It wasn�t a question, but rather a statement. Lance bit his lip, feeling his stomach heave with nervousness. He couldn�t see if JC was angry or heartbroken, miserable or indifferent, because JC, like himself, had grown accustomed to hiding his feelings deep within his soul, making them both seem cold and aloof. �So�� Lance replied softly, covering the distance between himself and his lover in slow, uncertain strides. �I-� JC had a smile plastered on his face as Lance leaned down to touch his shoulder. �You have to go,� he interrupted Lance, his voice sounding distant, �I understand. It�s all right.� Lance shook his head furiously, saying with a dejected sigh, �No, it�s NOT okay, Josh. I know it�s not.� His tone softened when he saw the flash of misery in JC�s eyes that was gone as quickly as it had come. �I�m sorry,� Lance whispered, as he brought his lips to meet JC�s for a tender, lingering kiss. When they pulled away, JC smiled at Lance. �Go,� he said, his tone slightly lower than usual. �He�ll be expecting you.� �But�� Lance bit his lip, letting his voice trail off. He didn�t want to leave the security of JC�s arms, the bliss he felt whenever he was close to JC, the heaven he saw in those intense azure eyes. �Lance,� JC said gently, �We knew what we were getting into when we decided to be together.� JC tilted his head and smiled pensively at Lance. �Cos we have to do what we have to do, right? But I�m not regretting it.� JC gazed into Lance�s beautiful green eyes. �Are you?� �Hell, no,� Lance whispered, losing himself in the sky-blue pools staring unwaveringly into his own eyes. �Not one bit.� JC smiled slightly, shaking a strand of hair out of his eyes. �So you know what you have to do?� Lance nodded slowly, running his fingers through JC�s soft, ungelled hair absently. JC closed his eyes and absorbed the feel of Lance�s hands in his hair, a contented smile spreading on his face. Finally, Lance stood up. Grabbing his watch and strapping it onto his wrist, Lance gave JC a quick, last kiss on the lips before heading out of the house and toward his destination. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JC fell back onto the bed, emotionally exhausted. He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, when he knew that even the idea of sleep wasn�t remotely possible. What if HE knows? JC wondered, suddenly feeling a sense of dread wrap itself around him, strangling him, choking him. JC ran a troubled hand through his unruly hair, trying to calm his nerves. What if HE knows about me? What if HE knows about US? Thoughts flew wildly through JC�s mind and he squeezed his eyes shut quickly, refusing to look around the room that suddenly seemed far too small, far too cramped. I�ve never been like this before, he reasoned to himself. Isn�t this what they call claustrophobia? I�m NOT claustrophobic! Just as he was beginning to calm down, the phone rang shrilly. JC jumped at the noise, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. Instinctively, he reached out for the receiver, but his hand met nothingness. Just as he remembered he wasn�t supposed to BE in Lance�s apartment in the first place. JC sighed in relief, grateful that he hadn�t touched the phone. But how long till the next slip-up? He wondered, feeling his spirits drop even lower then he had ever thought possible. How long till we�re finally found out? How long can we keep this charade up? For the next few seconds, the shrill ringing of the telephone and JC�s deep, ragged breathing were the only sounds that penetrated the thick, heavy silence that hung in the air. Finally, after what seemed a small eternity to JC, the answering machine played its recorded message, and JC found himself smiling at the sound of Lance�s deep bass voice, despite the fear in his heart. �Out on a mission right now but this is Bass. Leave a message after the tone or put down. Either way, I don�t care.� JC almost laughed at the message. It sounded so typically business-Bass. No one saw the other side of his lover � the side even JC hadn�t managed to fully explore yet. The side that was kept hidden away from the rest of the world. The side that JC had once thought wasn�t there. JC almost sighed, but restrained himself. In the two weeks he hadn�t touched his gun, JC practically felt human again. He was letting down his defences so fast, he didn�t know what hit him. One minute, he was the man with no emotion, the next JC Chasez, passionate lover. JC closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. The second option sounded so much more� enticing. Especially if Lance was around to heat things up a little. There was a pause as a beep sounded, breaking into JC�s thoughts, before a gruff voice JC recognized as well as his own spoke. Fear laid an icy hand over JC�s heart. He felt a chilling sensation run up and down his spine as he heard the man�s words. �Chasez, I know you�re there.� TBC... |