| Part II Author�s note: Justin is only two years younger than JC in this story, which is the same age as Lance. It doesn�t really make a difference, but still. �Chasez, pick up the damn phone!� JC forced down his wave of nausea. With feverishly trembling fingers, he reached over to Lance�s side of the bed and picked up the receiver, willing his voice to remain calm, he spoke. �Chasez here.� The caller laughed, �You�re getting soft. I can hear it.� JC swallowed uncomfortably, running his hand through his hair for what seemed like the thousandth time that night � a nervous habit he couldn�t seem to shake. He didn�t know what to say or what to expect. It was obvious that the fact he was at Lance�s place was now out in the open � he was officially in enemy territory. �I�m not,� JC finally said, in reply to the man�s earlier statement, choosing to keep his sentences terse and short, hoping the other man heard the hostility in his voice. �Oh, freak that, Chasez. You�ve been working for me for, what, nine years? You started at fifteen, man. I watched you grow up, dammit! So don�t tell me I can�t read you!� �Chris, how did you know I was here?� �I have sources, Jace. You�re not my only spy, you know. I have people all over the place. What they see, I see. What they know, I know. Simple as that.� The owner of the voice now had a name � Chris. �And I don�t want to see my man screwing with guys from the other side.� �Chris-� �Chasez, you listen, and you listen good. You either stop this crap, or I�m coming to blow your damned brains right out of your skull!� Chris didn�t sound like he was messing around. JC didn�t even wince at Chris� tone. Instead, he let out a dry chuckle, �Look, you know and I know that you won�t do that. So do us both a favour, and stop wasting your time.� Chris growled into the phone, �JC, I put up with a lot, but if you�re going to start messin� with the other side, then I don�t know what I�ll have to do to you, all right? If one starts, they all start.� JC shook his head and sighed. �Chris, I�m a frigging SPY. I�ve killed god-only-knows how many people in my LIFE! I�ve started killing since I was FIFTEEN, dammit! I don�t want that anymore, Chris. Do you know how unfair this is? I don�t even know how to really SMILE anymore! All because I�ve been doing this for so long that I�ve freaking FORGOTTEN how!� �JC, look, I know you�ve sacrificed a lot. I know you think you�ve found love with James. I know you think you�re finally worn out and you don�t want in this anymore. But that�s not POSSIBLE! I can�t let you go. You can�t say you want out and get out. Remember Justin?� JC closed his eyes, flinching at the painful memory. Oh yes, he remembered Justin. Once upon a time, Justin had been his best friend. And once upon a time, Justin had been JC�s first target. �JC� oh god, what are you doing?� JC almost couldn�t bring himself to look into his best friend�s eyes. Well, ex-best friend. What kind of a best friend were you if you went around blowing the shit out of your best friends? As he stared into the deep blue eyes Justin had, he almost let out a sigh. ALMOST. But Chris had trained him well. And he remembered every bit of his training. He wouldn�t show his emotions. No siree. Chris had almost given up on him in the beginning � JC was naturally an expressive person, someone who couldn�t lie. Definitely couldn�t kill. And yet, weeks later, JC was about to kill his best friend. And he could almost feel remorseless. Almost. �I�m sorry, Justin,� JC said, his voice steely and emotionless. �You shouldn�t have messed with Chris.� �Please Jace, I�m sorry. Oh god, I�m sorry,� Justin whispered, sinking onto his knees, his hands shaking. �I�m only thirteen, I don�t want to die. Please Joshua, don�t.� Justin looked up into JC�s cold, hard eyes with his own tear-filled ones, silently pleading with his best friend of eight years. �I don�t have a choice.� Justin opened his mouth to scream, but he never had the chance. JC�s aiming was what had made Chris decide to keep training him. He had a ninety-eight percent accuracy and Chris was not letting anyone that talented slip away without a fight. Justin�s body collapsed onto the ground as JC sank to his knees, dropping the gun onto the floor. As he stared at his hands, JC could almost imagine Justin�s blood dripping from them. He shuddered as the tears began to fall. The fact that he had just assassinated his best friend slowly sank into his head. He was a murderer. �Oh god,� JC whispered, burying his head in his hands. �Oh god, what have I done?� �Jace? JACE?� Chris� voice jerked JC back into reality. �Still here,� JC managed to choke out. �I don�t know what to do, Chris. You know me, I can�t do this anymore. I�m gonna crack soon. I AM getting soft, Chris. Lance� oh Jesus, he�s everything I wanted� and then some. I can�t keep doing this. I can�t, Chris.� �JC�� Chris� heart broke when his friend started sobbing into the phone. He knew that JC was hurting and, while JC was a paid worker, he had also become a close friend of Chris�. The two shared a bond that most could only wish for. �I�m sorry.� �Please Chris.� Chris sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly. �Jace� I can�t do this. You KNOW I can�t. If I do, they�ll be hounding you for the information and we can�t risk that. Christ, I know you wouldn�t tell on us, but JC, there are the OTHERS. They�ll get the wrong impression. They�ll run off thinking they can do whatever the fu- whatever the hell they want. I can�t make this exception, Jace, not even for you.� Chris� tone was sympathetic but firm. JC sighed, allowing a tear to slide down his cheek as he recomposed himself. �Chris, you KNOW there�s a way out of this for me. There HAS to be. WHAT is it?� �Well�� Chris hesitated a minute before he continued softly, �If you get Joseph�s head served on a silver platter, I can let you go. Otherwise, Jace, it�s a definite no-no. But don�t you go thinking you can do it, young man! Because, I assure you, no one�s managed it yet.� Chris� tone held a tinge of sarcasm and JC rolled his eyes. �Joseph? As in Lance�s boss, Joseph?� Chris nodded even though JC couldn�t see him, �Affirmative.� �That�s as good as keeping me in prison, Chris. You know there�s no way I can handle that,� JC sighed ruefully. It was a dead-end street. �Dammit!� he cursed, throwing his fist against the wall and ignoring his hand as it began to throb painfully. �DAMMIT!� Chris could sense JC�s anguish and he sighed. �Look, C, you and James? Two words. Not. Possible. Both of you are top spies, and also top WANTED spies. Unfortunately working for the two most competitive enemy teams. End this relationship before either of you gets seriously hurt. And I don�t mean in the emotional sense.� �But�� �Jace, dude, you know this is for the better.� Chris� voice was softer now, almost comforting. JC closed his eyes against the pain that engulfed him. The mere thought of leaving Lance caused a sharp ache in his chest, leaving him with a feeling of helplessness so intense JC thought he would break. �He�s my sanity, Chris. He LOVES me. I can�t believe that anyone would do that, COULD do that. And every night, I wonder to myself, what the hell have I done to deserve someone as good as Lance love me? He knows what I�m going through, Chris, he KNOWS what I feel every night when I lie in bed. He knows what the nightmares of killing people do to me. He�s everything that�s good in me. And I can�t lose that. I can�t. �If he leaves,� JC choked back a sob at the thought, �If he leaves, I�ll be broken. I can�t do this without him. I NEED him with me. He hasn�t said a word about Joseph to me. And Chris, oh god, I swear I haven�t breathed a word about you. We�re just two different people from two different worlds, who are completely and utterly in love.� Chris sighed. He had heard it before. The same pleas, the same tears. But JC�s moved him the most. JC sounded the most sincere. And Chris was afraid he might cave. Somewhere along the way, JC�s compassion had moved him. It had reached him and touched the deepest part of his soul, a part he had thought long gone. And Chris was afraid now. Because he couldn�t be lenient. For the sake of his and the other spies� lives, he had to be firm. Both men were silent for a time, the only sounds to be heard was that of JC�s quiet, choked sobs and Chris� deep, even breathing. Finally, JC made up his mind. He had to make a choice. His love or his life. JC knew it was highly unlikely that he would emerge from a fight with Joseph alive. And yet he also knew, he couldn�t give Lance up. The choice was his and his alone. Should he give up Lance, the only person he had ever felt such deep love for? Or should he give up his life, and surrender himself to Lance�s love, keeping what precious time they had left together? And as JC mused, Chris sighed. Sighed for a love that could not be. TBC... |