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B: competition: world class. Wardrobe: crucial. Margin for error: zero. So long Pittsburgh, hello Miami Vice.
J: I thought your all expenses paid fuck fest was just for the weekend.
B: each party has its own theme and a strict dress code. The white party: fifteen thousand horny queers all in white.
J: I'll be busy too. I have a paper due on renaissance art.
B: then there's the muscle beach party.
J: and there's the laundry and, of course, the wedding.
B: I mustn't forget the cabana boy contest.
J: I have to remember to write my grandmother.
B: fuck. I've got dick all to wear for the white dawn bash.
J: will you even need clothes by then?
B: not if you've got anything to say about it?
J: you're taking me?
B: if you can tear yourself away from your granny's letter.
J: thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Shit, what am I gonna wear?
J: this marriage stuff is kinda cool. In fact, I was thinking maybe someday.
B: what? You and I?
J: yea, stranger things have happened.
B: not really. What you need is a good fucking on the beach.
J: hey, I can't go.
B: you forgot your ________?
J: I wanna go to the wedding.
B: for Lindsay and Melanie?
J: for me. I wanna be a part of it. I wanna see their faces when they say "I do", give Emmet kleenex, console Debbie, you know she's gonna be a mess.
B: so you're standing me up to see two dykes tie the knot?
J: yea, I guess I am. You angry?
B: I think you're a selfish heartless asshole. Keep up the good work.
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J: you fucked him, didn't you?
B: who?
J: who do you think? Ben.
B: where'd you get that idea?
J: he's only like the hottest guy I?ve ever seen. How many times did you fuck hih? I want numbers and positions.
B: once. twice.
J: I?m getting hard just thinking about it. How come you haven?t told Michael?
B: it's the first rule of gay etiquette: never talk about your past fucks, especially if one of your past fucks is your best friend's current fuck.
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J: I told you that I can pay for it myself.
B: with your secret Swiss bank account?
J: I'll get a job, a real job, one that actually pays.
B: what, and make three, four hundred a week?
J: so I'll apply for a scholarship or a loan.
B: what are you gonna use for collateral? Your ass? Stop being such a twat; I'm just trying to help you.
J: you've helped enough. I practically owe you my fucking life.
B: what do you mean 'practically'?
J: look, I don't want you to feel like you always have to take care of me. And I don't want to feel like that either.
B: fine, then go ahead, but don't come crying to me when you succeed.
J: I love that you'd do anything for me.
B: who said it was for you? I made an investment; I want it to pay off.
J: here's a dividend.
B: shouldn't you be holding on to that?
J: it doesn't much matter since it's my last one.
B: the ______: sorely lacking in fiction since the nineteenth century French novel. How noble of you to revive it.
J: fuck off.
B: did you find a job?
J: I must have tried 20 restaurants. No one's hiring.
B: what'd the financial aid office say?
J: my fucking father makes too much money.
B: well, my offer still stands.
J: so does my answer. I'm gonna do this on my own.
B: try not to step on my wontons.
J: he said I'd be pulling anywhere from two to three thousand a night.
B: that'd better be all you're pulling, young man and remember, you still have your school work to do.
J: and what if I don't?
B: you'll have to be spanked.
J: yea, just try.
B: you like that?
J: I was kidding.
J: you're still up.
B: yea, I'm doing my homework. It?s late.
J: I had to talk to the boss. He said starting tomorrow I can dance on the bar.
B: after only one night?
J: I told you I can take care of myself.
B: yea, I guess you can.
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B: good morning, sunshine. I thought you had a class.
J: I ditched it.
B: how are you supposed to do your best work when you're up all night fucking around?
J: I'm taking lessons from you. And I'm not fucking around, I'm working.
B: yea, I saw you work, sticking that funny white powder that the sap gave up your cute little button nose. You're supposed to be putting yourself through school, not getting so hammered you can't even make it to class.
J: four hundred and ten dollars in one night.
B: for your tuition, which you won't have to worry about when they kick you out.
J: you sound like my father. Now, fuck off.
B: working tonight?
J: hmm. Nine to two.
B: you can hardly keep your head up.
J: I'll be alright.
B: sap will see to that.
B: if you don't want me to give you the money, I'll loan it to you.
J: I don't need your handout.
B: it's not a handout. When you graduate and get a real job, you can pay me back, with interest.
J: no thanks.
B: why are you being such a twat?
J: I am not being a twat. I'm trying to look after myself for once instead of always letting you do it for me.
J: look, you once told me that you wanted to make me the best homosexual that could possible for me to be. Doesn't that include being a man?
B: sometimes a man knows when to accept help.
B: that's not bad.
J: thanks.
B: maybe we even hang it.
J: Really?
B: and you can tell everybody you're hung.
J: I already do.
B: so, how'd you get the night off?
J: I told the boss I needed to finish a project.
B: that was easy.
J: I told you I could handle it.
B: smart ass.
J: In fact, he said I could have the whole weekend if I just went to some after hours party at his house.
B: for what?
J: he needs some pretty boys there for decoration.
B: who else's gonna be there?
J: how should I know, his friends?
B: I can imagine what kind of friends he has and I can guess what kind of party he?s having. The guy's a fucking sleez.
J: you don't know him.
B: I know how you got to dance on the bar.
J: I let him blow me. Big deal.
B: I'll give you five thousand dollars.
J: what for?
B: the drawing.
J: it's not for sale.
B: no, just you.
J: what happened to you last night?
B: don't ask.
J: we have an arrangement.
B: home by 3 or my balls turn into pumpkins. Believe me, you didn't miss a thing. How was the party?
J: oh, incredibly tedious. I left early.
B: I bet the sap didn't like that.
J: fuck the sap. Anyway, I quit. I decided that working all night and going to school during the day was counterproductive, to my goals. I need to priorities, concentrate on my art. So, I'd like to take you up on your offer, if it still stands.
B: it still stands.
J: we need to discuss the terms of the loan; interests, repayment schedule and we should have something in writing.
B: of course. So what made you change your mind?
J: a man needs to know when to ask for help.