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J: you�re up.
B: look again. And you�re late. It�s after three.
J: it doesn�t count. I was with Michael.
B: all fucking night?
J: it felt like five minutes. And the stuff we came up with is amazing. It�s like we share the same brain.
B: you get it Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays and he gets it Tuesdays and Thursdays?
J: ha!
B: what�s that?
J: it�s research. Michael wanted me to study the illustrations, to soak it all in�
B: come over here.
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B: didn�t you daddy ever teach you how to tie a tie?
J: no, he was too busy kicking me out and beating the shit out of you.
B: well, neither did mine. He was too busy regretting the day I was born. This isn�t the birthday suit I�d like to see you in, ha, ha. There. Now, go get some culture.
J: don�t work too hard.
J: he was incredible.
B: hooked on classics, are we??
J: yea, and the guy that played the violine, I wish you could have been there, he was, he was, incredible!.
B: incredible.
J: you know, it wouldn�t hurt you to expose yourself to some culture.
B: I�ve exposed myself to a little culture. There was an obo player I met at the baths.
J: oh�
B: are you up for another birthday treat?
J: no way. No fucking way. I knew it. All that bullshit about not doing birthdays, you were just gonna surprise me. What is it?
B: this way, young man.
J: I�m gonna trip..
B: happy birthday. Like your present? He looks just like that underwear model you like. Well, are you gonna unwrap it??
217
B: I�m gonna fuck you. I�m gonna fuck you all night.
J: don�t you get enough?
B: never enough
J: why don�t we save it till the weekend?
B: why don�t we save it till we get to the car?
J: I was thinking that we could go away just the two of us. Snow- boarding.
B: cool, except there�s no snow.
J: in Vermont. Daphne was just there with her boyfriend. She said it was amazing. They stayed in this awesome place that was a converted farm house and every room had a fire place and a Jacuzzi.
B: did they have those little mints on the pillow?
J: I forgot, brian Kinney doesn�t do romance?
B: I don�t need an excuse to fuck.
J: you also don�t need an excuse to turn me down. Why don�t you just admit you don�t wanna go away with me for the weekend?
B: I don�t wanna go away with you for the weekend.
J: at least it�s out in the open.
B: I wanna go away with you for the whole fucking week.
J: right.
B: hey, if you�re not interested, I can find somebody who is. [to a stranger] a week with me in vermont, Jacuzzi, fireplace ? [to Justin] I guess it�s just the two of us.
J: are you serious?
B: you�re off on spring break, I�m about to make partner which, I�d say, more than entitles me to a week of snow-boarding and fucking your brains out.
J: really?
J: emmet got eveyone the coolest stuff. He got cars, trips. He even got debbie a diamond bracelet.
B: I really have to hand it to him, he must have given george one hell of a blow job. Have you seen my prada tie?
J: fuck the tie. He got you the entire armani fall collection.
B: yea, but what am I suppose to wear until then?
J: he got me a trip to italy, to see all the masters.
B: I heard they have a big s&m scene there.
J: why are you bringing a tie to go snow-boarding?
B: I�m not going snow-boarding. I�m going to chicago.
J: chicago? What the hell is in chicago?
B: my new account.
J: but we�re going to vermont tomorrow.
B: some other time.
J: come on, you promised.
B: it�s business.
J: fuck business.
B: that�s exactly who you�re fucking. It�s business. It�s my business. That pays for this loft, that pays for snow-boaridng in vermont� that pays for the PIOFA. Now, if I don�t get on that plane, I�m gonna be collecting unemployment in my fucking armani fall collection.
218
B: you�re back.
J: you noticed.
J: you�re home late.
B: I got a new account.
J: that�s nice. �how was your day justin?�
B: fucking one day to do a presentasion.
J: it was not bad, thanks for asking. How was yours? �a whole lot better now that I�m with you.�
B: a fucking stake house and I�m supposed to be brilliant.
J: did you miss me? �Every minute you were away. You�re all I thought about. Please never leave me again.�
B: who the fuck are you talking to?
J: no one.
B: And what�s with the little voice? Are you planning to become a ventriloquist?
J: it�s one way to hear what you want.
B: so, how was your trip?
J: not much fun without you.
B: why didn�t you tell me you were going?
J: I didn�t think you cared.
B: there were things I had to do.
J: did you miss me?
B: what the fuck is that?
J: it�s a picnic.
B: a picnic?
J: I went to the Gourmet shop and I got a lot of cool expensive stuff: brie, patte.
B: you know I don�t eat fat or carbs after seven.
J: I know, but I thought maybe just this once.
B: we could dine on the floor? This is Pittsburgh. Not japan.
J: oh, come on. It�ll be romantic.
B: you know, I wanna go out. I had a for shit day and I need to unwind.
J: you can do that here.
B: you cannot do it here. Now, come on.
J: how about cheese and crackers? I�ll make it for you.
B: cheese and crackers aren�t gonna cut it. Now, come on. Get up, get dressed.
J: can we please stay home for one night, just the two of us?
B: you�re too young to settle down.
J: and you�re too old to fuck around.
B: I�m going to babylon. You can either come with me or you can stay here. It�s your call.
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J: you�re working late
b: well, that�s one of the benefits of being a partner. You give someone something to do, they fuck it up and then you get to do it yourself.
j: you asked for it.
b: yea, and I got it. Where have you been?
j: studying. And I had to get these. What do you think?
b: my own little advertising genius. I told you I�d help you.
j: you�re too busy.
b: come here.
J: I gotta shower. I stink.
b: from studying?
J: sweating over a project.
J: you scared me.
B: relax, it�s not that kind of shower scene.
J: I thought you had work to do.
B: well, I got all sweaty too.
J: brian�
J: jesus, brian. i thought you were bowling.
B: game's over!
J: how'd we do?
B: three cheers to the winners.
J: way to go!
B: it wasn't us. where are you going?
J: to take a shower.
B: you sure are taking a lot of showers lately. come here.
J: later.
B: now.
J: can�t we please do this after?
B: i like smelling you. not soap.
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J: brian, I�m sorry.
B: what for?
J: you know what for. I didn�t mean for it to happen.
B: I know. You�re the poor hapless victim of a love bashing.
J: I should have told you about it.
B: and taken all the fun out of it? So how big�s his dick?
J: that�s got nothing to do with it.
B: since when? You love cock. You love it down your throat and you love it up your ass. You love riding it. And after you come. You love to fall asleep with it still inside you.
J: cut it out. Cut it out.
B: you�re hard. So don�t tell me it doesn�t matter.
J: there are other things.
B: flowers? Picnics? Violin music?
J: he loves me.
B: your dreamy eyed school boy?
J: in ways that you can�t
B: in ways that I won�t.
J: he told me that I�m all he wants.
B: they�re still using that one?
J: it�s more than you�ve ever said
B: and it�s more than I ever will, so what the fuck are you still doing here?
J: would you care if I wasn�t?
B: It�s your call where you wanna be. You decide.
B: what�s his problem?
J: we�re not speaking.
B: creative differences.
J: actually we�re in total agreement. He thinks I�m an asshole and I think he�s one.
B: well, I�ve just spent a fucking fortune on this so sort it out.
J: after what he told you?
B: he was just looking after me. Like Zephyr looks after Rage. You know, if you want your comic book to be a success, you should put your personal feelings aside and don�t piss on your achievement.