Friendship is a powerful word. In using it, we sign our fate to the unknown. The outcome of that decision could leave you bright-eyed or blinded. So, why do we have friends? For support, caring, or companionship? Or is it for a more parasitic purpose? Jealousy or... Something even deeper, perhaps? Who's to say - but you?

Thinking back, I've had many people I considered as honest friends, but only a few shone through as truly honest friends. One whom I can never forget is Hilda (her actual name will not be used). I can't forgive myself for what I put her through...

I met her the second day of school and we began our friendship very quickly. She was vertically challenged, so to speak, and was always sparkling with energy. This was "A perfect blend of milk and orange juice" as she so frequently said. Hilda could put up with just about everything thrown at her - but I pushed that button too far.

"It was love after a second double-take," I joked (with Hilda).
"What kept you the first two times? You idiot!" She said with faux exasperation.

That was the way my trouble started that May. It was becoming increasingly apparent to me that I was leeching off Hilda and even more obvious that she didn't have a clue I was. I had just received my second report card that trimester and, unfortunately, so had Hilda. I had adopted Hilda as a study partner some time before and I knew I was slowing her down; she insisted everything was fine, that I was smarter than her and I showed her what to do, but I saw through to her frustration.

At any rate, though both of our report cards showed considerable leaps, Hilda's leap happened to be in the negative. I couldn't stand to live with the thought that I was really the one that ruined Hilda's grades, but she continued to request my company and I had to make a decision: would I continue this charade, or cease our friendship?

After what seemed like an eternity I made my decision. I would end one of my cherished friendships. When I began the conversation, I think I startled her. I could feel she knew I was ready to say something serious. As I spoke, the air became more tense steadily and the very world seemed to sift further and further out of reach.

I finished quickly and turned on my heel, but not before I saw a glimmer of understanding flash in her eye. I am certain to this day that she knew why I left, knew that I knew what she felt inside, and her memory resounds an unchained melody to me, driving me towards outstanding achievement.

Relationships can be a mesh of many things: love, hate, betrayal, lust, happiness, and self-sacrifice, but many things remain the same, such as a deep understanding of the other and the willingness to help them, even if it means hurting yourself. Friendship is a powerful word.