| 3/25/02: Ive got to call a few Limo places in the next few days. Liz gave me this # to call, guess I can get a free hour if I mention WDKX. Plus I gotta call "the dealer" and see if we can get a cheap limo. I also gotta find a date for ball. I guess I dont really need one, but it would be nice to bring someone else. I refuse to bring Bob, that white ass boy with the huge ego, hell no. He pissed me off today. Who ever told him he was good looking LIED to him! Anyways, I got rid of my brown baby today. I almost feel naked without it. I was carring it around all weekend, I almost became accustom to it. I dont have to go to work on friday! This week might turn out good after all!! Later! |
| Sasser's Old Journals |
| 3/29/02: Im so pissed right now. I almost dont know what to say. Billy , if you read this, I dont know what your problem is. How hard is it to call someone?! I can see forgetting to call, or being to busy, but for 5 days you've been saying that you would call me and you still haven't! I understand that you are busy. I dont even care that we couldnt do something. All I ask is that you call me to let me know you cant do something. It would only takes 5 minutes of your time...if that. You could even leave me a message if Im not around! You have my cell #, my home # and my e-mail. It cant be that hard to contact me! During the week, I wasnt mad you didnt call. But when you didnt call on thursday , I was pretty pissed. I had to hear you "couldnt" go to Tremors through my best friend. And the only reason I found out you could was because I called you! So we plan to do something friday, ok thats cool. Your going to call me...I dont even know why I believed you. You never called. And from your 3 word message on AIM, you are sick. Well, Im sorry. I realize it sucks to be sick. Ive been sick about 10 times this year...but it doesnt inpair you from pushing buttons! You could have called me at 2pm or 4pm or even at 11 in the moring to let me know you were sick and couldnt do something. No, you wait till 9pm to tell me..on AIM. I got the hint around 3:30. But dont worry , I didnt sit around waiting for you to call, I went out with friends. I refuse to sit around the house waiting for anyone to call me. Im starting to wonder how much you really like me. I would think if you did, calling me wouldnt be a chore! And Im wondering if you are even sick...maybe you went out with friends and to "cover up" you sad you were sick..still couldnt call. I hope Im wrong, but Billy , I thought you were different. Im starting wornder if you really are. Maybe you should call me... |
| 3/30/02: I really dont understand guys. I would love to get inside there minds , just for one day, to understand their idiotic, incompitent, warped, irksome thinking. |
| 3/30/02: I hate religion. I wish that it didnt exsist. Just like different races, it creates segregation between people. I know it also creates diversity..but its such a berden(sp). I dont think it should matter, religion or lack -there-of , in a relationship. Im tired. Ive been crying and Im sick. I would write more but Ive exausted myself. Ill write later. |
| 4/2/02: Im listening to *Nsync, so you would think that Im happy, but surprisingly enough, Im not. Billy and I are "suppost" to go to dinner thursday, but I have this funny suspicion that it wont happen. I came on last night (monday) to talk to him. Yeah, that was a wast of my time, he was "away" from his computer the whole night. So I went to bed without talking to him. Tonight, I come on and his friend Carly "ran away from home" and is at his house . Yeah shes been there for almost 3 hours. I dunno...its getting really old real fast. There is only so much a girl can take, only so many hints before she moves on. How many times has he said he would call and never did. How many times did he say we'd do something and we havent. I hate doubting him, but I have to. Its really upsetting to me , I thought I knew Billy... I guess I still do. Im already defending him to my friends and thats never a good sign. I would love to have a relationship with him, but it cant be a one sided effort. Its a 2 way street, he has to put effort into this too. From what Ive seen , he really hasnt. He says one thing and doesnt follow through. Actions speak louder than words, and his actions dont say much for him. Im going to bed...another night without talking to Billy. If this keeps up we really wont be doing anything...ever. Night |
| 4/3/02: So... tonight I decided that I dont care anymore. If Billy really wants a "relationship" then he ...I cant even think anymore. It all just seems so fishy to me. I really hate this. But Im sick of waiting for him to call me, taking my cell phone with me everywhere, hoping he will call even though I know he wont. Im such a loser, when the phone rigns I actually think it might be him calling me. I laugh at myself everytime. Im so stupid to think he would call. I mean why would he call? He only tells me he "likes me a lot" every time we talk. Why would I believe that?! This whole thing is so ridiculous. Im not putting anymore effort into this untill he does. Im not going to exhaust myself for nothing. I need to know how he truely feels. |
| 3/4/02: I would just like to state for the record that Ive been PMSing so I dont know if what I said in my 2 entries should be taken in complete seriousness. In other news...oh wait, I lead a boring life. So the only other news is that I got my period today and OH BOY, let me tell you, the cramps were unbearable. I was in so much pain. I worked out for over an hour when I got home. It felt really good. I think Im going to keep it up. Um, lets see, what else happened today? Oh yeah I told laura that I couldnt drive her anymore. I think shes hurt, understandable. I just cant take 20 minutes out of my mornings anymore. It takes to much of my time , not to mention I havent been seeing any money from her to help pay for gas. Come on she has 2 jobs! Well, tonight is a special night, I get to go to bed before 10...before 9:30 actually! YES!!!! |
| 3/05/02: I got hit on today!! I was coming out of the bank and I saw this really HOT car. I thought to myself " What a hot car.". Then I noticed it was full of boys. I guess they noticed me because they started yelling to me "Hey sweet thang! ", " Hey hot stuff!", "Nice ass!!!!". Ok, so it was a little immature but it still made me feel good. Ive never been hit on without my girls around. Thats all I have to say. Nothing to exciting happened today! |
| 4/9/02: I tried to write earlier, but I didnt have much to say. Nothing has changed between then and now, but I feel "ready" to write. Im so tired. I got 3 hours of sleep. I spent almost 6 hours on the computer last night, till 3am finishing my research paper. I never want to look at another one again! In other news, Im getting the hint. Billy obviously doesnt want a relationship with me...or anything more than friends. He shouldnt have said anything to me if he didnt plan on following up with it. Im not stupid, I got the message loud and clear. If he wants to fix it, he can come to me. I have nothing to gain from chasing after him like a little puppy. Ill just look pathetic. No thank you, I dont need that. Im to tired for this shit. I think Ill go to bed! |
| 4/10/02: This morning , I physically could not get up. It was owrse than my 3 hour nap tuesday morning. I had 7 hours of sleep and I just couldnt get up out of bed. I finally did, but it took forever. Now its 11:30 and I should go to bed but Im on the computer. What is wrong with this picture? It was crazy today. First off, my math, yeah I have a test friday, have I mentioned I have NO idea whats going on. AP Euro we are starting review. The homework everynight is a 20 page packet! Its crazy, and I just completly forgot my train of thought. Let me see...can I get it back? ...No, oh well. So I get to work , and of course Im loving it. Nap time! So Im getting the kids down and I always put Joey to sleep (hes one of my favorites..hes just so lovable, but a trouble maker...I dont care. Still love him. ) He would not sleep today, I dont think anyone would understand how frustrating that was for me, I just couldnt get him to sleep! Anyways, right after work I went to sarah's house and babysat Emily and Josh. Of course that was not hard, not complaining. Those kids love me. I actually had a lot of fun hanging out with them. I didnt get home till almost 10. I of course didnt get any homework done...yeah Ill do it tomorrow! HA! I have Adopt-a-6th-Grade friday....last one. Its just starting...very slowly...to kick in that Im a senior. I counted in my agenda...73 days till graduation. I cant wait, I get out of high school, away from Webster, and I get to work at the best place on earth...The Rochester Museum and Science Center!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, Im getting tired. I think its my bed time!!!!!! I feel like Im getting sick...again. I cant get sick. Need my rest!!!!!!!! |
| 4/14/02: So I dont have much to say today. I got back from Albany today. Man , I could not wait to get back home. Lets just say I didnt not sleep good last night, and I really need my sleep! Well, Billy called me today! (points for him!) I almost had a heart attack, when I heard his message on my answering machine! Anyways, I went to dinner with Alicia. It was yummy, shes such a cutie. Well, Im doing before care tomorrow for work, so I need to get some sleep! |
| 4/15/02: Before I forget, today my 6th month probation ended! Hell yeah! Not that it matters, I cant drive my car anyways, because I have a gas leak in my car!!!!!!! Ayways, So today was the first day of camps. Fun as always! I didnt get to talk to Billy for more than 5 minutes today, Im a little upset about that. I think I should have a talk with Jen and have her switch Maddy and Billy. lol. So yeah, Went to K-Mart and actually got some cute things. I know...K-Mart and cute..dont go together, but surprise! I rode a crotch rocket today. OMG , can we say rush?! Yeah, I wanna do that again! I dont think I have much more to say. I just hope that tomorrow, and the rest of the week, I see Billy a little more than I did today. I never get to see him as it is, it would be really nice to hang with him for more than 5 minutes. |