1-2-3 Years...
Author's Note: There are few bookmarks throughout the chapter. They are mostly for picture illustrations for that particular scene composite by the talented Ms. Marisol. If you click on the picture you'll be back at the point of story where you were reading. The bookmarks will also reveal some background facts about where I got the idea from. I hope you enjoy the little perks that I have added for the readers in my webpage.
Chapter Thirteen
Alex called and she called but there was no answer. She hated not being able to reach Gina. She threw her cell phone across the room in temper as she looked at herself in the mirror for the one last time. She hadn't dressed up. Instead she had put on white shirt with khaki pants. Even though Gina had teased her that Abbie had asked her out, Alex knew better. For one she knew that Abbie wasn't gay. Even if she was, Abbie would know better than her out. So, she knew why her boss had asked her to dinner. It was to discuss the scene that Olivia had created in the morning.
When she reached the Anthony's and waited she wondered what the detective might have told her boss when they had left her office together. For Abbie who usually stayed out of even office gossips, to ambush her for dinner.
By the time Abbie rushed in, Alex had already emptied couple of glasses of wine.
"I am sorry." Abbie apologized as she sat across the blonde.
"Don't worry about it." Alex hadn't even noticed the tardiness.
"I see you have already started." Abbie commented seeing the half empty bottle of wine.
"I am sorry. Where are my manners?" Alex said looking around for the waitress. "Let me ask for a glass for you."
"No, thanks." Abbie declined. "I would rather order some appetizers. I skipped lunch and I am famished."
"Me too."
"And you drank in empty stomach?"
"There was nothing to do." Alex took a long sip from her glass ignoring Abbie's concern.
"So, what is going on Alex? Do you usually start your dinner with a drink?" Abbie sarcastically pointed out Alex's etiquette.
"Do I need to tell you? I think you have already heard it from Olivia. Isn't that why we are here? So that you could defend her." Alex poured another glass for herself as Abbie ordered.
"Actually Olivia didn't tell me anything." Abbie corrected her companion. "And I don't know what is happening to defend anyone."
"Then?" Alex asked.
"Well, I just thought you needed a friend."
"I have a friend."
"I don't think she is a friend." Abbie once again corrected knowing fully well whom Alex was referring to.
Alex only glared at her comment in shock.
"Look, I know I don't know you or Agent Ramsey to try and have a say in anything. I know that." Abbie followed up with an explanation. "But, this morning I couldn't help but feel that Agent Ramsey was intimidating you. So, I had to ask you personally as to what happened to that Alex Cabot who couldn't even be deterred by Columbian drug lord like Valez."
"What happened? I'll tell you what happened." Alex a little tipsy didn't mind answering any question. "She had a hit on her head. She was kidnapped by the FBI and was told to choose between her life and the life of everyone she loved. She chose to leave her life. That is what happened. And who was there for that Alex Cabot when even her own �life� wasn't there. Agent Ramsey was. So, don't tell me G is not a friend."
"Agent Ramsey was your Contact. It was her job to protect you."
"May be, but it wasn't her job to be my friend. And she was. She was a friend in every nature. You know when you loose your life, it takes a while but you tend to loose everything you believe in too. Do you know that I had reached a point of such loneliness that I was millimeters away from taking a man's life. And the worst part of it all is that, I didn't even care if I killed him. And guess who was there to bring me back. To hold me. Yes, G was." Alex explained. She didn't need anyone who didn't know Gina to be telling her that her friend wasn't her friend.
"May be so. But you can't be hanging on to what was and allow her to manipulate you in present." Abbie insisted.
"Manipulate me?" Alex was really getting pissed now.
"Alex please, I am not attacking you."
"You are attacking my friend and that is the same."
"Alex please calm down. Here have some crab cake." Abbie extended as a piece offering. "I am sorry. It is just that...." Abbie paused hoping to find a different approach.
"You want her to be right." Abbie finished. This time Abbie was right on the mark. "And she is not."
"Like you said before you have no basis to draw that conclusion." Alex didn't accept Abbie's crab cake offer.
"I am sorry." Abbie apologized. "You are right. I don't have any facts to what has happened. But I do know Olivia. I worked with her for over a year to know how stubborn or bullheaded she can be sometimes. I also know that she always comes around. You just need to have patience to be there when she does. Or else you missed it?"
For the first time since the moment Abbie had started to talk, Alex listened. She was saturated with Gina's negative take on Olivia. She needed someone to nudge her, and seemed like that was what Abbie wanted to do.
"Sometimes Alex you have stop thinking about what she deserves and go for what you think is worth it to you. May be I am wrong here and it is only friendship that is strained between the detective and you. But still if you think the friendship is worth it, you should listen." Abbie finally got her chance to preach. "From what I saw this morning, if Agent Ramsey wasn't there. You wanted to listen."
Alex remained silent. She listened.
"Olivia." She addressed the detective by her name to make sure that her next sentence got the attention it deserved. "Are you sure," she questioned as she gently put her hand over Olivia's. "This is what you want?"
Olivia looked directly at her for a moment. Then she turned away. She had to. The two women were seated on the floor instead of the couch. Both their beers were at their reach on the coffee table. A lone ashtray was at the center with couple of cigarette butts already out and couple on the groove still lit. Olivia's hand that remained on the table exclusively for her smoke was now being gently provoked by the warmth of her company. She stared absently for few more seconds before she turned her hand and clasped the hand over hers.
"YES!" She answered loudly and clearly. "This is what I want."
As soon as the words were said her heart clutched as though she had fired her gun. She looked up instinctively. Her eyes met the hurt blue pairs that were shooting pain that bloodied her own heart before she even realized that her words had landed on the third pair of ears.
"Alex." The name escaped in panic as her eyes remained on the blonde who was staring back at her with teary eyes.
"No." Olivia added as the realization of what her words and the ambience of the moment might translate to her estranged girlfriend, who seemed to have walked in at the last minute hit her.
As soon as Alex recovered from the shock of what was in front of her, she turned right around. She had to leave. Abbie was wrong about Olivia. Gina was right. She had only managed to take couple steps, when Olivia sprung up, jumped over the coffee table and raced right in front of her.
"Alex please don't leave." Olivia pleaded for the second time that day. "It is not what it looks like."
"I think I can see what is going on ..."
"No, Alex. You see Cyn is a lawyer."
"I know who she is." Alex turned to face the other woman. It was Cynthia Reed, a well known gay lawyer who specialized in fighting for gay rights. Alex had recognized her the moment she had walked in. "Cynthia Reed right?" Alex asked in an accusatory tone. "So, let me guess lawyers are your type?" Alex concluded simultaneously glaring at the two women.
"This is not really ...." Olivia's guest started to defend, but Olivia cut her.
"No, Cyn." This time Olivia was going to do her own explaining.
"Yeah CYN." Alex mimicked the nickname. "Don't explain. Because then other shit that she has conveniently forgotten to tell me might just come to light. We don't want that happening. Then Olivia would have to do the unthinkable like...what do you call that...yes... EXPLAIN."
"I am out of here," Cynthia announced quickly finding her jacket and the door.
"I can't believe you Olivia. You come to my office in the morning and have the audacity to beg for my time, while you have a date set up for the night."
"This is not a date." Olivia said daring few more steps towards the furious blonde. "She is my lawyer."
"Lawyer! Up my fucking ass." Alex did not want to listen any more. Every word felt like a lie just like she had lied about not seeing Jena. "You know what? I don't want to know. Not anymore." Alex raised her hands up in sign of giving up and turned to her previous path that was going out.
Once again Olivia chased to block Alex.
"Please" Olivia begged grabbing hold of Alex's arm.
"Don't." Alex revolted yanking Olivia's hand off her. "Touch me." She warned.
"I won't." Olivia took a step back to prove her words. "But please don't leave let me explain."
Alex was too hurt, too angry and just too overwhelmed to stay. So, she took another step to the door. Olivia's hand shot right in front of her face and landed on the wall with a thud, baring her path once again. Alex glared with disbelief as Olivia broke down conceding. Slowly her body fell just like her tears to the ground and the detective was on her knees.
"I beg you to give me a chance to explain." Olivia begged between her tears.
Alex who still wanted to leave allowed moments to pass without making a leap to the door or attempting to comfort the woman she loved. She turned away from her initial path and let her back lean on the wall as she prepared herself for the explanation that had wedged their hearts apart.
Olivia too got up and composed herself as she tried to think of the best way to start. But words never had been an ally of hers when it came to opening herself, so she decided on a different approach.
"I want you to see something." Olivia requested.
Alex hesitated for a moment. She had already decided to hear the explanation so she followed Olivia to the right corner where Olivia opened the 'always locked' room and gestured for her to walk in. She did. Once she was inside Olivia switched on the light, illuminating the soft pink painted room and her hearts secret.
Alex's reddened eyes widened as her mind realized where she was. She was in Eve's nursery. Nursery that was decorated with several pictures of gleaming Olivia, slightly chubby Jena and Eve in different stages of infancy. The common thing in all the pictures was Olivia holding the baby. Alex didn't need Olivia to say it. Every detail of that beautifully decorated room that Olivia had preserved and kept intact screamed it to her.
"Eve is your daughter." Alex voiced the conclusion turning to Olivia.
Olivia only nodded confirming the truth of the words that Jena had forbade her to even think in that very order.
"What shit is she filling your head with?" Gina wondered aloud as she heard the phone click to answering machine for the hundredth time. Years of staking out on her charges all alone had made Gina form a habit of talking to herself.
At first when Alex had told her about dinner plans with Abbie, Gina had taken it very lightly. It was only after she reached MA, that the timing of it all rose a suspicion on her. She couldn't help but feel that Abbie had some ulterior motives. Her suspicion was only increased when the Boston's DA Helen Gamble handed her back her cell phone saying that she must have dropped it. When she had checked her cell phone's missed call it was filled with calls from Alex. That was when she had called up her trusted trainee from the program Junior and told him to run a check on Abbie. And now as she waited for a fax from Junior she was trying to call Alex but Alex wasn't answering her house or the cell phone and that was frustrating her. Just when she was about to throw her cell phone on the wall, for the mere satisfaction of watching it break, her fax machine rang once and a paper started to print.
She snatched the first page that had finished printing and started to read. It was basically a summarized bio of her boss. The next few pages too, had nothing but where she went to school, her GPA, what sonority she belonged to, etc etc. Nothing that was interesting. After that followed couple of pages of her career beginnings. Then to her work as NYC's ADA. She noticed that even Abbie had worked for SVU with Olivia in the past. But that wasn't a news to her. She remembered Alex mentioning that it was Abbie who had pushed her to join SVU when she was leaving for Washington. The next few pages were about her career climb in Washington, which was very impressive, if Gina herself thought so.
Immediately after she had gone to Washington, she had started to assist on various cases of various field. Gina scanned through few note worthy cases where her involvement had earned her a big boost. One such case was a drug bust which she closely worked with the detectives. Nothing about the bust seemed interesting, till she came upon a name she never thought she would come across. Then she knew. She knew Abbie's ulterior motive.
She picked up her cell phone. She dialed a number for Abbie. It wasn't any of the number Abbie had listed for her work, but this was a number that Gina was now sure Abbie would be at.
"Hello." And certainly it was Abbie who answered the phone.
"Hello Ms. Carmichael. How you doing?" Gina greeted with a grin on her face.
"How did you get this number?" Abbie asked the most obvious concern. "Never mind, you must have checked up on me." She concluded without panic.
"Yes, and it wasn't very difficult to add two and two together. So, do I even need to ask where Alex is?"
"She is where she belongs."
"Or where you want her to belong." Gina corrected. She knew Abbie's motives to gulp down her innocent act. "What happened Abbie?" She emphasized on the first name to let her know that now she was attacking her personal life. "Feeling a little insecure that you needed an extra shield of protection through Alex."
"Believe it or not, I was just trying to be a friend to Alex. Unlike you."
"And you are not saying that you'll sleep a little better tonight, now that you have managed to shove Alex back to Olivia."
"If Alex is there it is because she wanted to be there."
"Oh don't worry she won't be there long. And Abbie, if you want to keep the little details about your life private, I suggest you stay out of my way."
"G!" This time Abbie emphasized on the Agent's nickname. "Don't threaten me. Especially since you are the one who is chasing after the ghost from your past using Federal resources."
"My past is my work."
"Now, I am sure you want to keep that work." Abbie's warning was simple and direct. "Don't you, Agent Ramsey?" It was her turn to threaten.
"I'll surrender this round to you. But when I come back we'll see who will be the one loosing the JOB?" Gina gave in and warned at the same time before she hung up.
Only couple of seconds after Abbie was off the unwanted phone call she dialed a number of a friend.
"Hey Helen!" She addressed the Boston DA.
"Do me a favor. Make sure Agent Ramsey is pre occupied there for a while."
"I'll tell you the reason later."
"Thanks a bunch."
She hung up. **I'll just make sure you don't return then.** She thought to herself.