24 Weeks - Chapter 10

She was all packed up. Her locker was empty, her side table was cleared and her suitcase was closed. Everyone who was not involved with the Tuesday night event had left the day before. So, the dormitory that once felt crowded with the laughter and shouts now remained silent. The bunk beside hers still had covers on them, so Olivia assumed that Gina hadn�t packed yet. She sat down on her bunk for the last time reminiscing the good, bad and tired days.

Olivia turned to the woman who was now walking towards her. �No, it wasn�t all bad. I had the best days of my life here, and got through the worst days here, too.�

�And I fucked it all up. I know if there is anyone to blame here, it�s me.� Gina said unwilling to look at Olivia. �I mean I always knew. I was using Jaq as a punching bag for my mom. But, hell she could take it, you know. You have to believe me when I say this though. I never thought it would go this far. Few broken bones maximum�not Adam stabbing her. But right now I am just so thankful that she is going to be all right.�

�It did go too far.� Olivia confirmed knowing that the worst was still to come.

�I don�t know yet.� Olivia was staring at her suitcase unsure of her destination. Before it all, Jena had asked her to come and stay with her. �Just temporarily�then when you get a definite posting we�ll see who will move in with whom�� The always-practical Jena had said. But now with Jaq in hospital and Olivia stuck in the Academy for two days with no contact with her girlfriend, Olivia had no idea where they as in couple stood at that moment.

�Chris told me about the two of you�. you and Jena�God I wish I knew.� Gina said pulling her hair back and holding her forehead.

�I am sorry, I wanted to tell you guys but it never seemed like the right time.� Olivia confessed.

�Because of me�right.� It wasn�t a question, just a simple statement that they both knew to be true. �That�s cool now. I don�t care. Well�I don�t care about whom you see I mean. We are still friends though��

Olivia was surprised. Of course she had spent better part of 20 weeks trying to convince her self that Gina was not homophobic, and now that the biggest evidence had surfaced, it was surprising to Olivia that she was surprised.

�Definitely�� Olivia�s answer was barely audible. �What is going to happen, G?� But her question was said out louder.

�I don�t know. Chris told me that her father bailed Adam out, but for now everyone is waiting for Jaq to be conscious. Doctors did say that she is out of danger and will make it but she is not conscious yet�. Jena was there. She looked like she had been waiting there the whole time. May be you should go out there� give her a break.� Gina suggested feeling sorry for the woman she had seen in the hospital waiting room, alternating between fidgeting with the chair and chain smoking.

�When she saw me � she looked like�like she would kill me�but I can understand it though. If you or Chris was the one in the hospital, I would want the person responsible to pay too� After all this whole shit is my doing.�

Olivia raised her head searching for the source just like she had done on the first day when she had heard the same voice. And just like that day�Chris was walking towards their bunk.

�Regardless of why or how it happened; the fact is that Adam was the one who took that bottle and stabbed her. We know that.� By �we� Chris meant her family and her.

�I am sorry about being rude earlier.� Chris said looking at Olivia. �I had just made the connection and I was angry. And of course I was scared of what you might say in there. Not that I wanted you to lie�or thought that you would lie �but I just didn�t know�what you would say � since Jena and you� whatever�I am just sorry.�

�That�s ok�my fault. I should have told you guys about her. If I had� this wouldn�t have happened. You were right� the finger does point at me.� Olivia knew that she shared equal guilt.

�We can spin the bottle here and find fault in everyone it points at. What does it matter now� the fact is we are all fucked� and rightfully so �� Gina had already spent too many hours feeling too damn guilty, so now she wasn�t about to let someone else mope over split milk.

�Yeah�you can say that again. But if Jaq doesn�t file charges � may be.� The other two women both looked at Chris like she was talking about some X-Files rather than a possible outcome. �Come on now � I am not saying it because Adam is my brother and we are in deep shit. Well I am saying because of it but still. Adam is going to therapy. My dad is making sure of that. Adam is not a criminal who is out to kill people. He has a problem with his anger and he will be treated for that. And none of us here thought it would go so far. So, if Jaq just says that it was an accident may be may be�my dad can get the charges dropped and clear our records.�

�Yeah�you can dream about that�but it is not going to happen. Not to mention the fact that filing charges is the right thing to do, the press will be totally after this case �after all a Police Chief�s son stabbing a gay woman� that�s a very juicy headline. Let�s just hope she doesn�t get vengeful and make it worse than it is. Or tag it as a hate crime or something.� Gina wasn�t as optimistic as her best friend. �Just be thankful that Academy is being able to keep it under tight lid right now. As soon as Jaq wakes up �this thing is going to hit the roof.�

Olivia remained silent through out wondering how everything had reached that point. A week after joining the Academy Olivia had found herself on a side where she didn�t want to be but the side she could not leave. And as the day of the graduation dawned she was still on that very side. Except this time at the stakes was her career and the divide had widened. And worst of all, on the other side was Jena.

�Yeah�I know that.� Jena said with no apology. �But they wouldn�t let me in if I wasn�t family. So�we are sisters. And we are both gay�and if the nurse asks about us joining on a study that a therapist friend of hers is doing to relation between homosexuality and hereditary, then tell her no. The reason being, you are not fully out.�

Jaq narrowed her eyes thinking who would believe that she was in the closet while Jena continued talking.

�Of course I couldn�t say I was in the closet since she recognized my band and she asked me and I said yes already. So, it had to be you. And another thing, when I called your folks�your mom asked if I was your girlfriend, I just couldn�t say no. So, I told her I was. And asked her permission to tell the hospital that I was your sister to get the family privileges. So�don�t complain.�

�I was out for what couple of hours�and you have already lied to the whole damn world.�

�Oh well�it was more than just couple of hours. And these are just necessary lies. I couldn�t wait in that freaking room for your parents to arrive. Or for every Tom Dick and Harry to see you before I could.�

�Well�I am happy to see you.� Jaq said with as much of a smile as she could manage.

�It still hurts huh?� Jena asked sympathetically sitting right beside her friend�s bed.

�Then don�t talk. The doctors haven�t allowed the police in yet, saying you need more rest. May be I should go too. Let you get your strength back.�

�No�. stay.� Jaq said as Jena held her hands and let her head, rest on her friend.

The two friends lied still, each giving the other strength as the time ticked away. The bald headed woman�s heavy breathing with the humming of the silent room were music to Jena�s ears as she dozed off a little but Jaq who had had plenty of rest wanted to talk.

�Jen�� She said unknowingly waking her friend. �Please tell me your were not hitting on G�s friend.�

�God�no.� Jena should have realized that even Jaq must have replayed the event thousands of times just like everyone had. �I wasn�t hitting on her�I have been dating her.�

�That�s how you knew about G�s mom. Shit� I was such a fool. I actually believed you when you said�you just knew someone who knew her mother.�

�Well�we have been seeing each other for a while now. She didn�t want to�well she wasn�t comfortable with � I don�t know how to explain why I didn�t tell you�except that it was coz of her. And I didn�t push it.�

�Well�I did know you were seeing someone.� Jaq had her own confession to make. �I thought you were seeing someone married. That�s why you were so tight lipped. But I guess it is good�at least she is not married. But is she gay?�

�Well� I had asked her to move in after graduating. And we were thinking of �� The question was simple but as Jena was answering she knew that the answer was going to complicate everything. So Jena stopped. She did not say any more.

�You love her.� Jaq said it aloud for her friend. �God�Jen. If only I had known�may be.� She paused.

There were too many �may be�s for Jaq to start naming them all. But the end of all �may be�s would be anything but where they were right then. Yet, since none of the �may be� scenarios did not happen and so it was no use saying any of them out, so Jaq just remained silent just like her friend.

�I could drop the charges.� Jaq said after a long moment had passed. �Try and say that it was an accident.�

�Do you even know what that means? Especially for the two of you?� Jaq asked even though she knew that Jena must know better than her.

�I have spent almost 48 hours in the waiting room, wondering and praying that you would make it. I have gone through all the arrays of emotions. From being scared to sad to distraught to traumatize to just simply miserable and helpless�. in a very short period of time. And to think that they are going to get away with it, because of me. No� Jaq. I can�t live with that.�

�You know what an impossible position your girl is gonna be stuck in right? Now�even if she does choose you, the trail would definitely �out� her. Which is not going to be easy? I know that first hand. And it is not just about outing; it�ll put a permanent dent on her records�which could hinder her in numerous ways throughout her career.� Jaq wanted to spell out the consequences because she knew it well. �Look�I love you. This doesn�t mean that much to me. G and I have been trading punches for a while, so this time it went a little too far. I can let it slide. But this can blow up big�since Adam is the son of Police Chief.�

�You can let it slide but would that be fair. Jaq if I was the one stabbed and it could have been. Then what would you do? And please don�t think about Liv and me. Sometime life is about choices. I guess Olivia just would have to choose.� Jena�s eyes were already watery knowing that she had already lost Olivia. After all the sun was already beginning to set and she knew that if Olivia had chosen her, she would have already been by her side.

Only two blocks or so away, Olivia was in a yellow cab and true to Jena�s assessment was moving away from her rather than towards her. There were no goodbyes or last words spoken, just tears that didn�t stop streaming out.