24 Weeks - Chapter 11

Sareena tossed the newspaper along with the others that were already in the garbage. When Olivia had come home last night, she had told her mother everything. And now Sareena wished that she could shield her daughter from anything else even though there was nothing much she could do.

She silently walked up to her daughter�s room and opened the unlocked door. Olivia was lying still on her bed with her head buried in her pillow. Silence was all Sareena heard but she knew Olivia was awake. Just like she knew that her daughter hadn�t slept a wink the entire night. Neither did she.

Sareena braved couple of steps inside the room then she stopped again. She cherished the new relationship that had developed with her daughter in the last months. Even though that was what she wanted all her life, she was still new to it, and was bewildered at that moment wondering how to console her daughter�s broken heart.

�I am going get up mom.� Olivia simply said as soon as she felt the bed squeeze down with her weight.

�I�ll get ready.� Olivia got up with a start, wiping her face at the same time. �Chris and G should be here soon. You know you have to be there at 2pm right. And the ceremony will start at 3pm. Mr. Ramsey is going to be looking for you so that you guys can sit together�.�

�Olivia� I need to talk to you first.� Sareena said stopping her daughter from getting out of the bed. �It�s in the papers.�

�Jaq woke up sometime yesterday evening. She talked to the cops and the prosecutor upped the charge against Adam from assault to attempted manslaughter. Not much detail is out, except the fact that Jaq is gay, and they both were Academy recruit from the same batch. Most newspapers is tagging it a hate crime but one of them also have speculated that the fight was because of cut throat competition to top Academy as Adam ranked first and Jaq ranked second.� Sareena summarized the few articles she had spent the whole morning reading through before she tossed them all out.

�I have to stick by my words in my statement.� Olivia simply said still with her eyes closed. �Now you see why I can�t see Jena right? � Right now the investigators think that everything was because of a simple misunderstanding that Jaq�s friend was hitting on me. Now if I open my mouth and start talking� it won�t be simple. Not just the fact that it will �out� me, but also the fact that right now I have �an unwilling participant� on my records. That will change to �participant� in a hate crime. You know what that will do to me, to my career goal. It�ll most probably block me forever from becoming a part of sex crime unit. No body wants an insecure gay officer who might or might not be directly involved in what resulted in a stabbing of a gay woman working for a sex crime unit.�

Olivia was sobbing out loud as she spoke. One night�one mistake had completely torn her life away from her love. And now even though to some it looked like it was her choice to make, to Olivia it wasn�t a choice. Her dream and aspiration all stood at one side and no matter how much her heart was bleeding, to her there was no choice. But the one she already made by severing her ties with Jena.

�But Olivia, I am sure if you talk to Jena, she�ll understand. This doesn�t have to be the end of you two.�

�Mom� Jena hasn�t called. So, Jena already understands. She always looks at every angle of every situation. So, she already knows what this means to me and my career. And I am sure she already knows the choice I have to make or made. So� it�s ok. And no�we can�t be together any more because we are under a microscope right now. I don�t want to risk anything. Not right now. Or ever, so mom that whole coming out speech I gave you that night, forget about it. You daughter is not gay any more.�

�Oh! Yes I can. I am now a Police Officer. That�s all I am.� Olivia was standing in front of her closet where her uniform hung proudly. She had a graduation to get ready for.

The sun was shining and the weather was beautiful when Olivia walked up to the center of the outside stage and received her diploma. She turned smiled and waved her diploma just like every one else and marched proudly to the join her friends. She kept her posture straight, her sight on distant as she listened to half a dozen congratulation speeches. Jaq hadn�t come, but she was mentioned as with Adam�s diploma revoked she was the first in their batch.

Gina and Chris stood on her either side as they posed for picture after picture first for the Academy then for their family. Sareena Benson did her part of accepting and offering congratulations for her daughter and her friends as the small group of friends introduced their parents to each other. Amidst all the hands that she shook and the pats she received Olivia still found her self isolating herself from the crowd the first chance she got. That was supposed to be the happiest day of her life but yet it was the worst for her. Nothing meant anything as tears once again streamed out without warning. She sniffed them alone feeling alone.

�Can you just be a Police Officer?� Sareena simply asked walking on her daughter from behind.

�Once you told me that Jena told you � you were strong enough to confront me without her. And she was right. Now I am telling you that you are strong enough to be gay and be a Police Officer. Now, that should help you make your choice.� Sareena walked away leaving Olivia all alone once again.

�Gay women have their head screwed on the wrong way. They have their priorities screwed up and they make wrong choices.� Chris said out of the blue.

�Where is that coming from?� Gina asked surprised that her best friend was repeating her words.

�May be but I would never let my career go down the drain before it even started for a guy or for the love of my life. No�way�they just don�t have that many pointers in my life to fuck my life for them. But these gay people just give too much importance to that shit. Now, not only is Liv gonna have to answer about her lie in her statement that she did not know Jena. She will also have whole lot of other avalanches falling on her if she is outed. What I fear the most right now is that Academy is being able to keep our names under wraps. But when they find her�they find us. And we can kiss our careers goodbye too. I don�t think Police Force wants a bigot in it.� Chris said with a sad smile pointing to Gina. �And my father will make me quit just to save him any more embarrassment. So my dear friend� just like your mom�and just like Jaq�here we have another gay woman making a stupid choice and we are fucked.�

When Olivia had waited patiently by Jena�s door the last person she thought she would see was Ray opening it.

�You sure took your time.� But Ray was expecting her. He pulled her inside as though she was late for a shift change.

�Jen I am gone �I don�t give a shit if you fuck your self in there.� He screamed putting on his jacket. �She is in the bathroom. You do not want to go there.� He whispered to Olivia and walked out slamming the door.

�Fuck you Ray�. and I HATE you. Remember that.� Jena�s voice screamed from the bathroom.

Olivia wondered for a moment what she would do. It was so strange that just last week that very apartment and that very room had felt like home and now due to four short days she felt so awkward in the same space. She waited longer hoping to hear some noise from the bathroom but there was none. Her first instinct was to wait but as the clock ticked on, her step moved forward till she was right in front of half ajar door of the bathroom. She peeped inside just to see Jena sitting at the edge of the bathtub fully clothed and completely soaked from head to toe. She didn�t move. She didn�t say anything. She just stayed there watching the woman she had cried for the last twenty-four hours.

�I� I can explain.� Olivia answered. Not as plea�not as an excuse but as a fact.

�You out of your mind.� Jena got up and walked out passing by Olivia like she wasn�t even there. �Look I understand ok. I don�t need closure. I don�t need you coming here to explain to me. I understand.� Jena was drying herself while Olivia just stood on the bedroom door still in her uniform just watching. �I kinda always knew� sort of. I mean after all we are in different places in life. We were bound to break up sooner or later so�sooner does me fine.�

�I know it hurts. God�Liv it is supposed to hurt. You don�t think it is hurting me.� Jena wasn�t willing to listen to the woman who had come knocking on her door. She wasn�t going to be the reason to ruin her career. �It hurts me like hell too. But I deal. You know why�because we just got to. It�s like the weather�we can�t always love it�but we got to get through it.�

�But I don�t choose you.� Jena who was pacing as she spoke stood still and stared at the floor that was still red. �Because it is not just you, who made this choice. I made it too. Jaq said she would drop the charges if I wanted her too. But� I just could not let this go. As much as I love you�and I do. I hate what happened more. And please think about the consequences it is going to have on your career. Don�t risk it because of me.�

�You don�t care right now because you are hurting � but Liv don�t be short sighted like the last time. The hurt will go away.�

�Of course you would know, because you have fallen in love and fallen out of love before.� Olivia was the one screaming now. If Jena had her reasons, Olivia was quickly finding her own reasons too. �What the fuck does it matter to you any way right? After all, girlfriends come and girlfriends go. So what is one more gone to you. No, big deal Liv get over it. Yeah�Jen you should know the hurt will go away�. just like every other women have gone away for you right?�

�You want to talk about hurt� you know what hurts more. To see the woman you are insanely in love with and not to even be able to smile or look at her. To have her right in front of you still have to fantasize that she is the one dancing with you. To thank the lord for the change of music so that you can steal a moment or two with your girlfriend�that hurts Olivia.� If hurt was what Olivia wanted to talk about� Jena had plenty of wounds to show. �Think about it Liv� why did Jaq almost die? Because I whispered some sweet nothing to you. To you Liv. To my girlfriend�to my lover�to the one I shared complete body and soul uncovered moments with. You want to tell me � I have gone through this before�. You are wrong. The first night we ever made love� I prayed� I prayed that I could hold you like that forever� I prayed� I don�t even remember when was the last time I prayed but I prayed to have you� I prayed I could always be with you. So, don�t tell me I have fallen in love before and this is just the fucking same thing to me�. Because you can�t even begin to understand how deep it is fucking hurting me right now.�

�Then don�t let me go�let me choose you.� Olivia begged as she tried to pull her crying lover to a hug.

�Because you won�t choose me every time. Babe � let�s not be short sighted please. Because of this�.� Jena tugged on Olivia�s uniform. �There will come many a times when you have to make a choice and I am not stupid�I know one or the other day I�ll loose. And I might not be a gracious a looser next time as I am willing this time.�

�No�.� Olivia grabbed Jena and pulled her to her self. �Look� I am gay� If not today tomorrow it�ll be out� so I am not going to loose you because I am scared to admit who I am� All I want is you with me� Please�don�t make me leave you.� Olivia begged.

Jena let her self be hugged and cried on as she did the same. Olivia was right. It never was anything to do with her. It was about Olivia and now Olivia was willing to face it all and if there was anything she could to do was be there. Except there was one more thing Jena needed to know.

�Liv�. promise me� you�ll choose me if ever you have to choose again?�

�Yes�Yess�� Olivia�s lips that were already on hers before she spoke while Jena simply gave in�she gave in to Olivia�s kisses�to Olivia�s touches� to Olivia�s hunger that was quickly engulfing her� to Olivia�s passion that was drowning her�to Olivia�s zeal that was capturing her. And she gave in.

�So you think they�ll make up?� Jaq asked munching on the Chinese that Ray had got for her in the hospital. She was sitting on the little balcony of her room, enjoying the view of the city lights.

�I hope so. Jena was turning into a bitch. I actually picked her up and put her on the tub and opened the water on her. She was screaming when Olivia showed up. I just ran out of the door.�

�American Spirits�� Ray said recognizing Jena�s brand immediately. �Don�t tell me this is your brand too?�

�I didn�t smoke�but Jen said this doesn�t have any addictive chemicals so I�ll not get hooked to it�so I started.�

�Yeah� one of her theories. Like she said I can�t be in love with her because she is gay.� In their previous conversations, Ray had already learned that Jaq knew most details of Jena�s life. So he found it easy to talk to her.

�Like I can�t fall in love with a straight woman.� Jaq added her own irony.

�So�this is for getting addicted to non-addictive cigarette.� Ray raised the small burning stick as though it was a drink.

�But you are lucky�Gina at least did you a favor and gave you enough reason for you to hate her.�

�While Jen still always keep you hanging�. I know. But Ray�the woman is as gay as it comes. Even though it�s Jen�She�ll use anything when she is desperate but you really think she�ll ever just turn straight?�

Just then the phone rang. The two unlikely pair paused wondering who would pick up the phone.

�Long time, no hear.� The voice on the other end greeted the person who picked up the phone.

�Come on �can�t a friend call to ask how the Graduation Ceremony was?� The man on the other end of the phone asked.

�Look as much as I love your innovative ideas. I don�t like my stash and my employee in Police Custody.� The caller certainly wasn�t in the mood to joke either, as he got right to the point.

�Yeah Valez, I know who you are. I am sure you�ll be the next godfather soon. Caesar Valez the drug lord�that everyone fears and you will be making headlines in future. But for now�you are small time and I can have my say�so no. I�ll call you when I get the money� don�t call me again.�

�Adam�� Chris said knocking on the door. �Are you done? Dad wants you to come to the study.�

Adam stood put next to the stand that held the phone for a moment or two longer before walking out of the room.

�You think their relationship will last?� Jaq asked still puffing her smoke.

�I don�t know. I thought Tonya and Jena would last forever. Look where they ended up. Mention Tonya to Jena right now and you are off her Christmas list.�

�Tonya is the chick that drove her crazy right?� Jaq asked trying to put together Jena�s version.

�Tonya drove her crazy�No�No�Jena drove that poor woman crazy. She played so many head games with her�the woman was totally exhausted when she finally left.�

�I really don�t know what started the trouble � but when it started. All Jena wanted to do was hurt her. So much so that she even slept with me because she knew that would hurt Tonya the most. Of course that backfired on her because I got up in the morning and asked her to marry me. And she just ran away. But that just shows how far she is willing to go when she is vengeful.�

�Just vengeful�how about jealous. I remember her telling me about the first girl she was dating� and some guy had a thing for her so she went and slammed her car into his living room � without even once asking or talking to her girl. Of course she has grown up now��

�Jena growing up only means that now she�ll be hiring some professional to hunt and kill someone who is even remotely interested in her girl. She can get like that when she gets insecure.�

�Well�yes she is the kind� you are right about that. But you know what? I think it�s different for her with Olivia. She doesn�t seem insecure or unstable. I mean I didn�t even know who she was dating and still I knew how happy she was. So this time she found her one. I hope this lasts for Jena.� Jaq said pulling out a folder and tossing it towards Ray.

�My gift to them if they make up. I�ll settle. I�ll get some quick cash, and Olivia doesn�t have to worry about her career washing down the drain.�

Couple of months later, Jaq dropped the charges and settled but it had already done its maximum harm. Chris quit the force the day press printed her name. Gina quit shortly after for reason that no one knew. Olivia�s name was mentioned in press too, but only as one of the people present at the club so she managed to avoid most of the scrutiny. Once the charges were dropped her records were cleared as though nothing had happened.

Thus in 24 weeks, Olivia made and lost friends. Yet through it all she had found love and she was happy.

But when her friends would be back in her life in future� would she choose Jena again?