2001 Playoff Fantasy Football

Despite having no one playing past the second week of the playoffs, the Wisconsin Assclowns have won the 2000 Playoffs Carmine Cup championship. "It's a dream come true. I'll finally have something in my apartment to drink out of," the champagne-soaked owner of the Assclowns was saying as he accepted the Cup at the Conference and Learning Center in Downers Grove, IL. Rumor has it that Giordano's Pizza was catering the event, but the pizzas were stolen from the fridge before the presentation.
Found amidst empty pitchers and buffalo wing bones at Slammer's Sports Bar was Gurpreet Dhillon, whose last-second defensive charge fell six points short. "F**king special teams," Dhillon fumed as he order a double shot of Dr. McGillicudy's from the bar. "Take away that f**king TD return, my boys shut 'em out, I win this damn league. Or else if that damn stone-hands guy at the end could've just picked off that ball and ran it back for a TD, win Dhillon. Son of a bitch." Dhillon's Baltimore defense did manage to score 78 points, over half his total and by far the highest scoring player in the playoff fantasy league.
Over at nearby Phillie's, Stewie's Shooters and Tha Clusterfuck were downing Double Deckers and bemoaning the fact that the game was a defensive battle. "I guess the Ravens D is a little more imposing than the Vikes," lamented Stewie, as his fate rested on the arm of Kerry Collins. Indirectly, Tha Clusterfuck's fate rested there as well, as Amani Toomer managed to haul in only 24 of Collins' impressive 110 yards. "Jamal Lewis did his job today, but Toomer just came up short for me," GM/Owner Dan Hinrichs mumbled in between bites of pizza. "Damn those Assclowns."
Finally, out in San Francisco, John Giordani was told information of his 2-player, 1-point performance via cellphone as he was attempting to street luge down Lombard St. "I lost? Shit."
Thanks to everyone for playing this season, and if you have yet to pay your money, please send it out to Phil at Computer Sciences Corp. 2010 Main Suite 850, Irvine, CA 92614. We'll see you again next fall when the Ricockulous Precockament will defend the Carmine Cup!!

Draft Information Standings Weekly Results Chochman United John Giordani Team Canada Stewie's Shooters Wisconsin Assclowns Boston Diesels Tha Clusterfuck Damon Ray Gurpreet Dhillon Kevin Leonard

Team Points PR Wisconsin Assclowns 155 0 Gurpreet Dhillon 149 0 Stewie's Shooters 144 0 Tha Clusterfuck 144 0 John Giordani 125 0 Boston Diesels 99 0 Damon Ray 72 0 Chochman United 69 0 Kevin Leonard 67 0 Team Canada 56 0

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