June Ackland pulled into her designated parking space in the yard at Sun Hill. She gathered her things together, then slowly got out of the car, pausing for a moment to look around herself.
The once spacious yard was now mostly taken up with temporary offices, small huts which June knew from experience were cold and damp. The air was filled with the noise of drilling, hammering, the shouts of denim-clad builders as they traversed the scaffolding which encircled the once gutted wing of the two-storey grey building.
From what she had been told, they were not simply restoring that which had been lost, they were extending the CID General Office and there were also rumours of a Community Safety Unit being based at Sun Hill, something which June secretly hoped she could be a part of, should the rumours come to fruition.
Community Safety Units dealt with hate crimes � including race crimes, something which, it appeared from the continuing MIT investigation into the fatal fire, had been the initial trigger for the local disquiet and eventually the riot during which a petrol bomb had been thrown into the building, setting fire to some gas canisters which had sent a massive fireball through the building.
PCs Ben Heyward and Di Worrell had died instantly, along with Inspector Andrew Monroe and DC Paul Riley. PC Sam Harker and DC Kate Spears had died the following day. Someone was responsible for six deaths and many injuries, and MIT and those remaining at Sun Hill were determined to see them brought to justice.
A lack of any real progress however, had left the officers frustrated and angered, and on top of their being utterly exhausted � having to work unpaid overtime with all annual leave cancelled for the past six weeks - tempers had been frayed and a couple of officers from another relief had already resigned. June had been assigned as Acting Inspector to 'A' relief, her first act in her new role had been to assign Jim Carver as Acting Sergeant.
Despite his initial concerns, Jim had been a rock, sturdy and dependable through this terrible time. Officers who had shunned the counsellors brought in by the Met turned to Jim, many times she had passed by the Sergeant's office to see him speaking quietly to a worried or tearful looking colleague, many times people had come to her and had praised his strength. She had suggested to him that maybe he should consider taking his Sergeant's exams, but he had laughed the suggestion off, telling her that he was perfectly happy where he was, and craved to be back in his role as constable, something he believed would signal a return to some kind of normality.
She hadn't seen Jim outside of work in the last six weeks � they had simply been too tired, and after a few days where she had been upset, even angry at him for pushing her away, now, in hindsight, she could see that he had been right. Despite her best efforts, she had been snappy, irritable and argumentative, had found herself screaming and crying over nothing, simultaneously needing there to hold her but also realising that if he had been there it may have been him that she had been screaming at, putting what they had � everything they had, their friendship, in terrible jeopardy.
He had been there for her, as promised, a trusty underling, taking on a little of her work, bringing her coffee and smiles and sympathy when she needed it, but they had not kissed, had not touched. They were best friends, colleagues, just as before, yes, but also stronger than before. He'd advised her not to take on so much work, she was helping restore the paper records from CRIS reports, she was dealing with the day-to-day duties as Inspector, and she was also helping to organise the memorial service which was to take place the following day. By drowning herself in the mind-numbing logistics of it all, she found she could distance herself from the realities, but tomorrow, she knew, the reality was going to hit her full force, facing the families, the tears, having to be professional and keep her own emotions in check.
She feared crumbling, losing it, destroying the fa�ade she had built up over the years of a strong June Ackland, who took everything, even death threats, in her stride, coming into work even though her life or career looked to be in ruins�
She knew for sure that there was no way that she could face it alone.
While she knew she wouldn't be alone, while she knew that her colleagues would all be there, that Bob Cryer, Charles Brownlow and others would be there, there was only person she knew could provide her with the kind of support she needed, the shoulder to cry on, the hug if she needed one, the quiet and gentle words saying just what she needed to hear. She didn't care if anyone saw them, or anyone suspected, or anyone realised. She was in love with him, and whatever anyone else thought simply didn't matter.
Nothing mattered anymore except being with him.
She started, jolted out of her reverie as her phone trilled in her pocket. She pulled it out, squinted at the small orange screen.
"Jim Calling."
She accepted the call. "Jim� where are you? You're running late."
"I�m afraid I�m going to have to leave you in the lurch, today, June." His voice was low, almost slurred, and June's brow crinkled into a frown, her stomach churned. "Whatever it is that's been going round has finally got me."
June nodded to herself. In the past few days, the sickness and absence levels had rocketed. Now that the initial adrenalin and determination was deserting them, many of the relief were complaining of dizziness, nausea, chronic fatigue. She had felt fine, Tony and Polly and some others seemed to be fighting through, but she had noticed Jim flagging in the past two days, catching him once looking pale and shaky, clinging onto a filing cabinet for support.
"That's OK. You stay home and get lots of sleep. That's all you need."
"That's what I feel like I need." He laughed lightly.
"Are you� will you be alright for tomorrow?"
"Yeah�"
"So I'll see you tomorrow." June said, biting her lip.
"Yeah. I'll be there. Thanks, June. Bye."
June stared at her phone for a moment after Jim had hung up. She needed him with her for the service, and had to make sure he would be there. She had to see him, had to convince him how much it mattered to her. She had to convince him of what she was now utterly sure of � that it was time for them to return to love, and to put an end to this self-imposed exile.
***
After another seemingly endless day June finally left Sun Hill. It was already dark when she got into her car and started on the drive home, her mind on autopilot. Fifteen minutes later she pulled up at the kerbside and climbed out, making her way towards the building in front of her. She reached up and rang the doorbell.
It took a moment before the hall-light clicked on, and Jim's silhouette could be seen approaching the door. She could hear a couple of locks slide open, then the door cracked open and Jim peered out. "June..."
"I'm sorry... I had to see you." She said softly. "How are you feeling?"
"Um... a bit better." He opened the door wider. He was in a cream dressing gown, his hair tousled, his face pale with dark circles round his eyes. "Come in."
"Thanks." She stepped into the warmth. "I didn't wake you did I?"
"Um... no..." He shrugged. "I was just going to get something to eat."
"Let me make you something... I didn't have time for lunch again today... I'll be glad when tomorrow's over."
"I think we all will." Jim followed her toward the kitchen. "My alarm went off this morning, and I tried to get out of bed... I think I blacked out." He shuffled towards a chair.
"Have you seen a doctor?"
"No... no, we both know what it is, just the body's way of saying "Hey, you need some more sleep."" He smiled wanly. "And I did... another... nine hours."
"Feel better for it? I'll tell you what, as soon as I can I'm going to take some leave and do nothing but sleep. What do you fancy to eat?"
"Whatever's in the fridge." He got up and moved to the sink, splashing his face with cold water. "I've been feeling ropey the past two days, but I didn't want to let you down."
"You should have said something..." She opened the fridge and peered in. "There's not much in here Jim... fancy a take away?"
"Now you mention it... I haven't eaten since yesterday." Jim smiled.
"And you're still standing?" June laughed. "Got any menus?"
"In that drawer... yeah, that one." Jim shuffled back to the chair by the table, sitting down and placing his head in his hands.
"Are you sure you're OK?" June walked over to him and stood behind him, dropping the menus on the table.
"Bit light headed."
"Then you should eat something... tell me what you want and I'll call them."
"Pizza." He looked up at her through slits of eyes.
"With what on it? And how big?"
"You order what you like, I'll eat anything." He smiled up at her. "As well you know."
"I do... but no fish." She laughed. "Or oysters."
"Definitely no oysters." Jim agreed.
"I'll go and call them... put the kettle on, if you feel up to it." She walked through to the lounge to find his phone.
"OK..." Jim stood and moved over to the kettle, taking it to the sink and filling it with water. It felt over heavy to his fatigue weakened muscles and it slipped from his hand, clanging loudly against the metal sink. "Damnit..." He muttered.
"You OK?" June shouted through. "I'll be with you in a minute."
"Yeah..." Jim clutched the edge of the sink for support as a wave of dizziness hit him.
"They'll be ten min... Jim." June rushed over to him and slipped her arm around him. "Come on... get back in bed."
"No... I'm OK, the sofa will do fine."
"I'm not going to pounce on you... and don't tell me you're afraid of crumbs in your bed."
"Me? Honestly June, it'll be a relief to be out of that bed for a while."
"If you're sure..."
"Sure I'm sure."
"Come on then..." She kept her arm around him as she led him through to the lounge room. "Now do you want tea or coffee?"
"Coffee, please. Might wake me up a bit."
"It's nearly bedtime though... sure you don't want tea?"
"I'll be OK." He assured her. "I need to be on the ball tomorrow."
"That's why you need a good night's sleep."
"June, I've drunk so much coffee these past 30 years I'm immune to its effects. And I can sleep anywhere, anytime, don't worry about it."
"I can't help worrying... two coffee's it is then. Back in a few minutes."
"OK..." Jim leant his head back into the sofa and within seconds he had nodded off, not hearing June return and place the mugs down onto the coffee table.
June shook her head and smiled at his sleeping form, unsure whether to let him sleep on or wake him. The decision was made for her as the doorbell pierced the silence and Jim jumped. "Hey it's OK... I'll get it - your coffee's there."
"Thanks." Jim blinked, picking up his mug and sipping the steaming hot coffee as June opened the door to the pizza delivery boy, took in the order, and paid him.
"Your food sir..." June smiled as she dropped two boxes onto the coffee table. "We don't need plates do we?"
"Plates equals washing up." Jim winked, righting himself and grabbing a box, looking inside. "Mmmm. Pizza." His eyes twinkled.
"You sound like Homer Simpson." June giggled. "That better not be mine you're eyeing up."
"This has got everything bar the anchovies."
"That'd be yours then... I know you'll eat anything. Mine's the plain and simple one." She sank down onto the sofa beside him.
Jim nodded, watching her as she pulled off a piece of her pizza and went to tuck in.
"Stop watching me and eat something."
"I was just wondering..." He pulled off a piece of crust. "...to what I owe the pleasure of your company."
"I know we agreed not to..." June sighed. "But I had to see you, I really missed you today... and I was worried about you. And I'm... I'm dreading tomorrow... I didn't want to be at home tonight... on my own... mulling things over."
Jim smiled. "I missed you too. But there was nothing to worry about. I'm fine."
"I'm not so sure..."
"I'm feeling better every minute."
She smiled at him. "I'm glad to hear it."
"I'm never 100% when I first wake up. I'm like a bear with sore head. Or a bear with bed-head." He laughed and tried to flatten his wayward hair.
"You look cute like that..." She looked away and blushed.
"I'll take your word for it." Jim sipped some more of his coffee. "You know I'll be there for you tomorrow, if you need me."
"I'm going to need you... I don't know how I'm going to get through it." She dropped the slice of pizza back into the box. "I don't know if I can face it."
"We have to face it. I could make an excuse, hole myself up here, hide away, but... we owe it to our colleagues, living and... dead."
"You're right... as usual... it's going to be so real tomorrow... we've been able to push it aside with all this work the last few weeks, but tomorrow..." A tear trickled down her face.
"I'll be there..." He dropped his mug and box to the table and leant forward to her. "Please don't cry."
"I'm sorry..." She sniffed. "I think it all hit me today... everything I've been pushing away..."
"Yeah... I know what you mean."
"That's why I couldn't go back to mine after the shift... I'd go mad thinking about things."
"I can understand that. And I'm glad you felt you could come to me."
"I know we said we wouldn't... I hope you don't mind."
"I don't mind." He pulled back and looked at her. "I don't mind."
"You were right you know... about us taking this time out. I've been a foul mood lately... it wouldn't have helped us..."
"So Jim Carver does something right for once?" He smiled. "First time for everything. I... I think I doubted myself too much, I don't know if everything will still hit me, but..." He shrugged. "Something is keeping me going."
"You've been such a rock to me... to everyone... just having you around these last few weeks has been... so good. I'm sure if there'd been anything more between us..." She sighed. "It wouldn't have worked would it? We'd have scared each other off with our moods."
"I've seen you in a mood, and yes, you're very scary." Jim laughed.
"You're not meant to agree." She slapped his thigh lightly, laughing though her tears.
"Oops. But I'm glad - you're not angry at me anymore."
"I wasn't angry at you... was I?"
"Just a little bit." Jim placed his hand on hers.
"Then I'm sorry." She looked up at him.
"You had every right to be. I must have sounded so cold-hearted and unreasonable, but I was doing this for us."
"I know you were... you had me convinced you hated me for a few minutes in those toilets though."
"I have never and *will* never hate you." He squeezed her hand tightly.
"I could never hate you either... I might dislike you at times." She smiled and tried not to laugh.
"How's that for brutal honesty?" Jim snorted. "And how about some more. Why are you *really* here, June?"
"The truth... I missed you..."
"You've said that...there's more though, isn't there?"
"I was lonely too..."
"And..."
"I need you... I want you..." She looked away. "I love you..."
Jim looked at her, and smiled, then laughed.
"Don't laugh at me."
"I'm not laughing at you."
"So what are you laughing at then?" She looked up at him again.
"I'm laughing because... I'm relieved."
"I don't understand."
"I've been waiting for you to tell me that for days now. Since the day I realised that I needed you back."
"Why didn't you say something then?"
"I couldn't."
"Was I in one of my scary moods?"
"No... June, if I'd told you how I was feeling, I may have... June, if you weren't ready I didn't want to pressurise you into anything."
"I've been ready for a while... I just didn't want to scare you off."
"You should have said something, if I hadn't been ready I would have told you."
"I didn't want to feel like I was pressuring you... and I was scared that you might reject me again."
"I would have told you and reassured you that... that I was never planning on letting you go forever."
"I've missed you Jim."
"I've been right here."
"And I've been at my place."
"As long as you don't think I abandoned you."
"Only as much as I abandoned you... your pizza's going cold by the way."
"I'm not hungry."
"I paid good money for that." June laughed. "But I've lost my appetite too."
"You might be coming down with something." He reached out and placed the back of his hand to her forehead.
"It's all that work I think..."
"We need to stop, and relax, and... take time for ourselves."
"You're right... again. Will you do something for me?"
"Anything."
"Hold me..." She looked at him with huge eyes.
"Oh, June..." Jim gathered her into his embrace.
"I've missed this so much... funny how you can miss something that you only had for one night." She buried her head into his shoulder.
"A very memorable night... for the right and wrong reasons."
She nodded against him, unable to speak.
"So this is... it..."
"I guess it is..." She pulled away slightly and looked up at him.
"If we can make it through this..."
"We can make it through anything."
"Who'd have thought it?" He kissed her on the forehead.
"I knew we'd get through it..."
"There's nothing stronger than love..." Jim breathed, running his fingers down her spine.
"And I certainly love you..." She shuddered at his touch.
"I love you more than life itself." His hand continued on its journey, moving inexorably down.
"Can I stay here tonight?"
"I was just about to ask you the same thing." Jim smiled, his other hand pushing up the material of her top.
"I've missed you more than you could you imagine." She leant forward and kissed him softly. "You're so special."
"No... we're special..."
"Are you sure you want this?"
"Why wouldn't I?" He regarded her questioningly.
"I don't know... because you're ill?"
"I'm not ill, I'm just tired."
"Then shouldn't you be resting?" Her hands slid to the belt of his dressing gown. "What have you got on under here?"
"Just boxers..." He shrugged.
"Is that so?" She unknotted the belt and slid her hands under the soft material of the gown.
"We're not going to end up landing in the food again, are we?" Jim laughed, tipping his head back as June's hands roamed over the front of his boxers.
"Could get to be a tradition couldn't it? Took me ages to get those stains out of the carpet you know."
"This sofa is pretty old, not sure how much punishment it could take... ahh... June..." His hand gripped the edge of the sofa, and he bit his lip.
"You want to move to somewhere more comfortable?"
"Back to bed?" He smiled.
"No crumbs... just me? We could... work up an appetite?" She tipped her head to one side.
"We can rewarm the pizza." He got to his feet, wobbling unsteadily for a moment.
"Sounds good to me." She took his hand and led him through to the bedroom where she stopped and looked around. "Very... blokey." She laughed as she wrapped her arms around him.
"Blokey?"
"Sorry... I meant masculine."
"I know what you meant. And remember, you have been here before."
"I can't really remember that though." She blushed.
"I'm not surprised." Jim smiled as June pushed his dressing gown from his shoulders onto the floor.
"You've got a very comfortable bed though... if I remember correctly." She placed both hands on his chest and pushed him backwards towards it.
"It is isn't it..." Jim's eyes widened as June pulled his boxers down his legs, and threw them aside.
"Not as comfy as mine of course." She kicked off her shoes and sat down beside him.
"Of course not." Jim eyed her warily. "What are you planning?"
"Me?" She fluttered her eyelids at him. "Nothing at all... just sleep..."
"Then why am I naked?" Jim looked at her, trying not to laugh out loud.
"I wanted a giggle?" June laughed.
"Well, thanks...." He looked down as June placed a hand on his thigh.
"Do I have to spell it out to you?" Her hand snaked slowly up his thigh.
"Might help."
"Got a short memory haven't you? It's only been six weeks."
"You'll have to remind me..."
"So it wasn't an unforgettable experience then?" She snorted kissing his chest.
"Oh it was... June..." His eyes fell shut as her hand reached its target, teasing him lightly.
"Do I have to all the work myself... it does take two you know." She bit his nipple gently.
"I was quite enjoying taking things easy..."
"You're a typical man aren't you..." Her kisses traced a line down his stomach.
"Am I?" Jim smiled as she moved lower. "What do you mean by that?"
"Lying there and letting me do all the work."
"Ah, but that's what women are for, to make life easy for the menfolk..." He let out a groan as June reached her destination and began to tease him lightly with her tongue.
"Well in that case..." She sat up. "I might just go home."
"I didn't mean it..." He grabbed the front of her blouse and pulled her down onto the bed. "I didn't..."
"I don't sleep with just anyone you know." June grinned.
"Don't you?" Jim pushed her onto her back, pushing her blouse upwards, nibbling at her stomach.
"Are you calling me a hussy?" She breathed.
"Would I do a thing like that?" He fumbled with the button on her trousers, pulling them down to her hips.
"Yes..." She gasped as his fingers slid down into her underwear. "You just did... Jim..."
"June..." He met her eyes. "Neither do I."
"You mean�?"
"I only sleep with women I... I love."
"And I never sleep with men on a first date."
"Never?" Jim smiled as he kissed her, his fingers moving slowly on her most sensitive spot.
"You're the... first.... ahh Jim..." She arched her back as his other hand slid up to her bra.
"Why... was I different?" He asked as he pushed her blouse back off her shoulders, then pushed her bra up, revealing her breasts.
"I don't know... you're special... I knew I love you... I wanted you there and then." She looked at him, a wicked glint in her eyes as she pulled off her blouse.
"You don't know how much that means to me." He gazed at her, his fingers slipping down, making her ready.
"Probably as much as you mean to me." She shifted suddenly, slipping her underwear and trousers off in one swoop and straddling his legs.
"You could have warned me you were going to do that." Jim laughed. "You could have done my back in."
"You just lie there and be a typical man..." She laughed as she cast her bra aside. "Though you may want to help things along..."
"I thought I just did..." He placed his hands on her waist.
"Well don't go getting complacent." She lifted herself up and slid down onto him, her hands running up and down his chest.
"Never... June... I just need you to know..."
"Know what..." She breathed as she began to move slowly.
"That I'm never going to let you go again."
"I won't let you..." She gasped, moving faster now.
"This time... apart... it's proved...." He pulled in a quivering breath as he met her rhythm. "That we're... meant."
"I... never... doubted it."
"Thank you..." Jim pushed his head back into the mattress, his eyes falling closed.
"No falling asleep... ahhh Jim..."
His eyes shot open. "Sleep, me?" He grinned, grabbing her waist and rolling her over onto her back.
"Jim..." She arched her back up to him. "Taking over are you?"
"I am..." His head ducked down to her breasts, licking them, taking her nipple into his mouth as he thrust hard and deep into her, sending shock waves through her entire body.
"God I've missed this...." June gasped, moving her hands to the small of his back, pushing him further into her.
He moved up to her neck, nibbling at it, then captured her lips in a deep, desperate kiss. His hands moved into her blonde hair, running his long fingers through it.
"Mind... the... hair..." She breathed, her entire body tensing as she tipped her head back into the duvet.
"Sorry..." Jim laughed..."June... June... oh god..." He grabbed for her hands.
"Jim..." Their fingers entwined together and she leant up kiss him once more. "I love you so much."
"You know I..." He stopped, his eyes falling closed, squeezing her hands tightly.
"I know... I know... Jim... ohhhh." She moaned loudly, biting her lip, her eyes falling shut as her body tensed again and again.
Jim's body shook as he came inside her, his breath coming in deep desperate gasps as he fell against her.
"Thank you..." She breathed, holding him tightly against her, her own body still reacting to his presence. "I'm never letting go of you again."
Jim didn't reply, simply squeezed her hand once more in response.
"I don't know what else I can say..." June reached up and kissed him deeply.
Jim simply looked at her, his eyes smiling through an encroaching layer of darkness.
"Don't look at me like that..." She smiled. "You're making me all self conscious."
"Sorry..." He whispered. His eyelids began to droop.
"Worn you out have I?" She wriggled from underneath him, pushing him onto his back and resting her head on his chest.
"You could say that." Jim stroked her hair. "I'm sorry, I'm just... so..."
"It's OK... don't apologise..." She draped her arm over his body. "And don't move... this is perfect."
"Wasn't planning to." He stroked her cheek. "I love you..."
"I love you too." She turned her head to kiss his chest, before resting it back down and closing her eyes. "Good night Jim."
................. on to Part Nine
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