"Morning sleepyhead... are you awake?" She rolled over, her face centimetres away from his.
"Mmmnnn." Jim shook his head against the pillow.
"Come on, wakey wakey." She kissed his forehead softly.
His eyes slowly cracked open, adjusting to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains. "Hi..." He whispered.
"I don't want to move..." June whispered. "This is perfect."
"Then don't..." Jim's eyes fell shut once more.
"It's that day we've been dreading... remember..."
"Mmmm." Jim nodded slowly. "I remember."
"I'd rather stay here though." June rolled over onto her back. "Hide away..."
"We can't though, can we?" He squeezed her lightly.
"I really can't face it Jim."
"We'll get through it. I promise you." He ran his hand down her arm and squeezed it.
"I'm going to need you more than ever..."
"And I'm going to need you too." Jim sat up slowly, placing his hands to his temples as he had a head rush.
"Are you OK?" June propped herself up on her elbow.
"I've got to be." He shrugged, swinging his legs round and standing, reaching for his robe which was draped over a chair.
"If you're not up to it just say." June sat up. "I don't want you making yourself ill over this."
"There's a lot of people expecting me there - including you, and I'm not going to let any of you down. Today is not a day to think about myself."
"Then we'll support each other... can I have a hug...? I need something to get me going." She glanced over at him as she sat up.
"Course..." He knelt on the bed, shuffled over and hugged her tightly. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine after some breakfast... how does cold pizza grab you?"
"Do you want a honest answer?"
"Um... I don't think I do. I've got plenty of cereal... or we could have a fry up..."
"What do you fancy...? I'll have anything but pizza."
"Nothing too heavy." He winced. "I never thought I'd say this but I don't have much of an appetite."
"Cereal then... throw me something to put on and I'll give you a hand."
"Your clothes are all over the floor." Jim laughed. He got up and walked to his wardrobe, pulling out a blue shirt. "Here."
"And old T-shirt would have done... I'm not fussy you know."
"You would be if you saw my old T-shirts." Jim rolled his eyes as June slipped into the shirt. "Looks better on you than on me."
"Blue really suits you." She stood up, pulling the shirt down to cover herself. "It's a bit big I think."
"It would be, wouldn't it." He looked at her. "It suits you, too. I thought that that first night..."
"Is this the same shirt?" She smiled at him.
"Might be." He laughed as he stepped out of the bedroom. "I'm just going to the bathroom. Help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen."
June padded through to the kitchen. She opened several cupboards finding the cereal and lifting a box out onto the work surface. She set about finding a bowl, eventually locating them on the top shelf of a cupboard. Unable quite to reach she strained on her tiptoes, the shirt riding up her body. Sensing a presence behind her she reached out quickly, attempting to pull it back down.
"Gone shy on me have you?"
June turned to face him and blushed. "Got them so far up there so that all your lady visitors have to do that?"
"You honestly think I'd do a thing like that?" Jim reached up for the bowls. As he did so, June noticed his hand was shaking slightly and she reached out and grabbed his wrist before there was an accident.
"You're putting on a brave face aren't you?" She spun him round to face her. "There's no secrets between us now remember."
"No secrets... I feel... terrible." He shrugged. "My head feels like it's packed with cotton wool, I'm wobbly, I'm nauseous..." He grabbed her shoulders and gazed straight into her eyes. "But I am *not* letting our colleagues down - not those living, or those dead. If the worst comes to the worst I'll take another sick day tomorrow." He kissed her forehead as if to reassure her.
"Only if you're sure... but make sure you take some painkillers before we set out... And take it easy. You can stay at mine tonight so I can look after you properly. Toto will be wondering where I've got to - I don't usually stay out all night."
"Thanks. How about I get ready here then I drive you over to yours."
"That sounds good... or you could bring your stuff over to mine and get changed there?"
"I could do that too." Jim smiled. "Of course, there's another reason I have to go to this thing..."
"Which is?"
"I want to hear your speech."
"Don't remind me." June shook her head. "Why did I agree to do that?"
"Because... you're the highest ranking, longest serving officer at Sun Hill, who everyone loves and respects."
"I'm dreading it."
"You'll be fine, you always know the right things to say."
"Yeah... don't let me leave my place without it... it's on my desk in the study."
"Desk in the study." Jim smiled. "Can you... finish getting the breakfast ready?"
"Sure... bet you drown your cereal in sugar and milk." June laughed.
"You know me too well. I just have to get my dress uniform out of the wardrobe... it needs airing. Meant to do it last night, but..."
"Sorry... my fault." June blushed pouring a generous amount of cereal into each bowl. "I distracted you."
"Don't be sorry..." Jim smiled.
***
An hour later, June slips the key into the lock of her front door. She is almost bowled down by Toto, who comes running at her at full pace.
"Someone missed me." She grinned, scooping him up into her arms. "I'm sorry little man." She cooed. "Blame him... I think he's forgiven me for the cream incident though."
"He knows you didn't do it on purpose." Jim smiled. "Damnit, June, I forgot to take any painkillers before we left... have you got anything?"
"Course I have... bathroom cabinet. I'd better feed this one." She carried Toto through to the kitchen.
Jim ascended the stairs and found the bathroom easily, confident in this once unfamiliar house. He looked through the cabinet and found some asprins, pushing the glass door to and regarding his reflection. "Urgh." He shook his head, placing both the pills on his tongue and swallowing them dry. Then he left the bathroom, and rejoined June in the kitchen. "Toto happy now?" He asked.
"He's male, he's got food - of course he is. How are you feeling now, you're still pale?"
"You didn't tell me I looked like I'd been dragged through several hedges backwards."
"I didn't have the heart... you look good in dress uniform... it suits you."
"Remember when we had to wear this all the time."
"The good old days."
"Not when you had a truncheon shoved down your trouser leg." Jim laughed.
"And there was me thinking you were always pleased to see me!"
"June!" Jim flushed.
"What?" She looked at him coyly.
"Nothing..." Jim chuckled quietly to himself. "Everything you say, everything you do just makes me love you more."
"You're so sweet... and you look good when you smile."
"Do I?"
"Amazing... it just makes your entire face light up."
"It's been a long time since I felt I could really smile." He placed his hand to her cheek. "And after today..."
"We can starting living again... well I think we started that last night but we've got today to get over with first."
"I've never said this to anyone before, June, but... I really feel... that I want to be with you forever. For the rest of my life." He stopped as June's eyes widened. "Sorry, have I gone too far?"
"No... no." She shook her head. "It's just... no one has ever said anything like that to me before... and I want to be with you more than anything else in the world."
"I just wish we'd done this years ago..."
"Me too... we'll just have to make up for all that lost time."
"We will." Jim nodded. "It's time you were getting ready." He looked at his watch and sighed.
"Yeah you're right." June sighed. "Make yourself at home... but watch out for cat hairs... he's moulting."
"Lovely." Jim waited in the living room as went upstairs to dress June, Toto pacing round him and eyeing him warily. "Come here, puss." He patted the sofa beside him.
Fifteen minutes later June came back down the stairs, fiddling with her jacket. "I see you made friends."
"I see what you mean about the cat hairs." Jim stood, brushing down his uniform. "You look great."
"No I don't - this thing isn't flattering. I've got one of those roller things in the kitchen, it'll get rid of that lot."
"Thanks." Jim followed her back into the kitchen, watching as she fumbled and bustled and cursed lightly when she couldn't find what she was looking for. He walked up behind her and placed his hands on her upper arms. "June... June, come on, calm down."
"You can't go there looking like something the cat's dragged in... it's here somewhere..." She slammed another drawer shut.
"June... June, look at me."
"It must be here somewhere..." She opened a cupboard door.
"June!"
"Found it..."
"June... if you want to let it out, just let it out." He pulled her close, gazed at her intently.
"I've got to keep busy... if I'm busy I won't think about it..." She rambled.
"There's no shame in letting yourself think about it, letting yourself remember, letting yourself feel. Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep?"
"I'm scared that if I start crying I won't stop." She looked up at him with huge eyes.
"You will. It'll help, believe me... June, I'm not just exhausted because of work, I'm exhausted because when I went home I'd cry, scream sometimes, spend hours awake trying to figure things out in my head... but it helped. So if you want to let it out..."
"I've cried so much these last few weeks." She bit her lip. "I just know that the tears... today... they won't stop... I can't let them start."
"OK... but you know with me you've got the biggest, broadest shoulders to cry on, don't you? Nothing you say or do or feel will change the way I feel about you."
"Even if I drown you?"
"I'm a scuba diver." His eyes twinkled at her.
"The speech... you didn't remind me..."
"I was just about to... the desk, in your study." He looked at his watch. "But hurry, we have to be going."
"I'll be right back." She rushed out the kitchen, towards the stairs. There was a loud crash and a thud. "Damnit."
"June?!"
June sat on the stairs and shook her head as Jim came through. "I tripped."
"Are you alright?" He hunkered down to her.
"I banged my knee..." She looked up at him as she gulped back a sob.
"Do you need a doctor..."
"It's only a bruise... I don't why I'm crying..." Her body trembled.
"Come here." Jim extended his arms to her. "Come here."
June stood up and collapsed into his arms, her body shaking as she sobbed. "This is stupid."
"No, it isn't." He squeezed her tightly. "Cry as much as you want to. I won't let you go till you stop."
"Then we'll be here forever." June sniffed.
"However long it takes." Jim whispered into her hair.
"We should be going..."
"If you're ready...."
"I'll never be ready... I still need the speech."
"I'll get it." Jim disappeared upstairs and returned to find June in the kitchen, splashing her face with water. "If I can do this today - I know you can." He smiled wanly, leaning a little against the doorframe for support.
"Then let's go do it - before I run away." She patted her face dry and took his hand. "Do I look like a panda?"
"No... you look beautiful." He was rewarded with a smile and together they left the house.
................. on to Part Ten
Back to Homepage Review Back to Stories