Holding tightly on to his hand, June wove in and out of the many stalls and rides on the pier, pulling Jim along behind her. Both of them were like kids in a sweetshop, stopping and marvelling at the bright lights and loud music every few hundred yards. "I feel sixteen again." June laughed. "So what do you fancy first?"
"I'm hungry." Jim whined.
"Do you ever stop thinking about food?"
"Do you want the truth?" He smiled as June nodded. "Hardly ever, and when I'm not thinking about food I'm thinking about..."
"Stop right there, there's too many kids about... you included." June laughed. "I know what you're thinking about..."
"You know me too well. OK, I'll have a candy floss to tide me over. Do you want anything?"
"Erm... we could share one? Or are you *that* hungry?"
"We can share, might be fun." Jim walked over to a nearby candy floss stall, waited for moment, passed over the cash and returned brandishing a huge pink ball of fluff on the end of a stick. "Pure sugar." He grinned.
"You always liked your sugar." June smiled. "So many calories... could you not buy a bigger one?"
"I'd say about a million calories." Jim announced proudly. "But you only live once."
"You might if you eat all that."
Jim shrugged at her and bit into the pink cloud. The candy floss dissolved in his mouth, leaving a pleasing taste of strawberry - and strands of what looked like cotton all over his face and hair. June looked at him and hiked an eyebrow. "What?
"I'll sound like your mother if I tell you."
"You already sound like my mother, what is it?"
"Cheeky." June warned. "You've got it stuck all over your face."
"Oh." Jim smiled. "Are you going to spit on a hanky and wipe it off for me?"
"Is that what you want me to do?" June laughed as she picked at the strands in his hair. "Urgh, it's all sticky."
"Sugar tends to be." Jim looked down at her, his eyes laughing, relishing in how easy all this was, how easily they had put all the pain of the past few months behind them and had regained what they had once had - if not more.
"You're such a fool Jim." June watched and chuckled as he rubbed his face, making the mess even worse. "What are we going to do with you?"
"I'll go wash my face." Jim smiled, gesturing to a toilet block a short walk away. "Don't go wandering off."
"Am I allowed to stay on my own? You'd better give that to me." She held her hand out to him, looking at the huge cloud of candy floss that remained on the stick.
"I think I can trust you. You can finish that if you want." Jim winked. He wandered off, leaving June eyeing the candy floss warily, then tossing it into a nearby bin. She looked around herself, then up, attracted by the glint of the sun on the ferris wheel.
"Booo!" Jim ran up behind her a few moments later as she was caught in her daydream, and grabbed her waist. "Got you."
"Jim!!" She jumped, laughed and spun round to face him. "Don't do that!"
"Why not?" He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close and planting a kiss on the end of her nose. "Where's my candy floss?" He pouted.
"I... ate it." June looked down and away, biting her lip.
"All those calories?" Jim looked on in askance. "June Ackland." He kissed her lips softly. "Erm... why can't I taste it?"
June giggled and bowed her head, so their foreheads were touching.
"You threw it away didn't you?" He laughed. "You can buy me another later."
"OK. Anyway, I didn't want you to be sick, when we..." Her eyes flickered upwards.
Jim followed her gaze up to the ferris wheel. "Oh no... I'm not one for heights."
"Big brave Jim Carver?"
"Well when you put it like that..." He puffed out his chest watching as June collapsed giggling. "What?"
"Nothing. Come on, think of the view." She tugged on his hand insistently.
"That's exactly what I don't want to think of..." He followed her slowly, dragging his feet along the ground.
"You'll be fine, you can hold onto me...."
***
The ferris wheel moved slowly up a little further as more passengers got on. The gondola Jim and June swung in was near the top. Jim, contrary to his fears was savouring the view, while June grabbed the safety bar tightly and stared straight ahead.
"Jim..." She muttered through gritted teeth. "Why did you talk me into this?"
"Me? You're the one who dragged me up here."
June shrieked as the gondola moved up once more to let more people on. "I'm doing die..." She repeated over and over again.
"June, don't be silly, you were right, look at the view. Look at the people down there, they're tiny!"
"Jim!" She warned. "I'm not looking anywhere. My eyes are closed."
"June, open your eyes, else you don't get a teddy bear."
"That's blackmail." She shrieked again as the gondola moved once more, this time it didn't stop so she cracked open one eye then the other. "It's not *too* bad now we're moving I suppose..."
"See...." Jim slid his arm around her back. "I'm here to look after you, I won't let you fall."
She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled. "This doesn't mean I'm not terrified you know."
"I know... but you have to... face your fears. I'm scared of going out alone, leaving my home and the way of life I've got used to these past few months, but... I know it's going to better for me."
"Let's not talk about that now... let's just enjoy..." She gulped as the gondola reached the highest point of its circuit once more. "...enjoy the ride."
Jim looked at her and guffawed. "I love you June Ackland." He chuckled.
"Don't laugh at me." She pouted. "Will you make a promise to me?"
"Anything."
"If I ever have another bright idea like this you'll stop me." She looked at him and laughed.
"I'm sorry but I don't think I can do that."
"Then I shan't love you anymore." She pouted.
"Aww, OK. I was just thinking that this way is more fun. I love the way you're never afraid to be spontaneous."
"There's a difference between spontaneity and risking certain death Jim."
Jim gazed at her then snorted with laughter, dissolving into highly infectious deep chuckles.
"What?" She looked at him, her face like stone. Slowly her mouth began to twitch and she soon broke out into a fit of giggles. "Oh I love you." She laughed. "Thank you."
"For what?" Jim wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.
"For being you... for taking my mind off impending death."
"Oh... June..." He shook his head and pulled her closer. "Thank YOU." June nestled against his shoulder, and was calm until the ride finally ended.
***
"We should be making a move soon." Jim sighed, nibbling on a chip from a polystyrene tray.
"I don't want to." June whined.
"Neither do I. You sure you don't want any more?" He proffered the chips to June.
"I'll have one more. I've got my figure to think of." She opened her mouth and waited.
"Here you go." Jim waved a chip in front of her nose and watched as she bit into it. "You remind me of a baby bird like that." He smiled. "But, we do have to get back, you know I've got something I have to do, and... the way I'm feeling right now, the sooner it's done and I'm free the better."
"Yeah I know... I suppose we have to leave. It's been so good today Jim... despite the big wheel... and you telling me I look like a bird..."
Jim laughed. "What's a big bird, five and three, ending in t?"
"Ooh could that be a tit?" June laughed. "Just like you!"
"Excuse me?! I remember asking you that all those years ago. It's odd how you can remember things from 20 years ago so well, and forget something you promised today."
"What do you mean � and it's a great tit by the way Jimmy Carver. You know, the things *you* don't associate with birds. Any more chips left? Someone ate all of mine!"
"I thought you were watching your figure."
"Are you saying I need to?"
"Course not." Jim coughed. "Anyway... the teddy bear - I did promise."
"You've twisted my arm... I was thinking maybe we could burn off all these calories sometime soon." She hugged his arm, rested her head on his shoulder.
"You'll wear me out. I don't know if we're going to have time today."
"I think you'd wear me out first... you're insatiable... and I suppose the best things are worth waiting for."
"As soon as... you know... we'll have all the time in the world." Jim dug into his pocket as he approached a coconut shy. "This..." He announced. "Should be a breeze..."
***
Ten minutes later, As Jim dug into his pocket for some more money. June tugged on his arm. "Jim just give it up, you've spent a fortune."
"I'm not giving up. I made a promise and I'm going to keep it." He picked up another ball and lobbed it at the coconut, once more missing by miles.
June smiled at the stallholder. "I think he wants you to take your holidays in the Caribbean this year. And he's going to pay for all your family to go with you." She looked at Jim. "It's OK you know... I can live without a teddy bear."
"It's not that, it's the principle of the thing. I'm sure it's a fix." He picked up another ball. "Here, you try."
"If you're sure I won't waste your money." She took the ball and kissed him on the cheek. "For luck." She explained before aiming and throwing it, hitting a coconut dead centre and watching as it fell to the ground. "I did it!" She bounced up and down excitedly.
"I... don't..." Jim flounced and began to walk away.
"What about my teddy? I need you to help me choose?" June shouted after him.
Jim came to a dead stop and turned around to face her, sticking out his bottom lip.
"Are you sulking James? Is this because I beat you?" June guffawed.
"You didn't beat me, you were just lucky."
"He's a sore loser." June grinned at the stallholder. "I think I want that one..." She pointed at the biggest teddy on the shelf. "What do you think Jim?"
Jim shrugged, turning around once more and mooching slowly away.
"Jim!" June shouted. "Get back here I want you to help me choose."
"You won it, you choose."
"I'll take the one I wanted." June waited for the stallholder to hand it over. "He's lovely isn't he? Suppose I should go and apologise to *him* again."
She found Jim at the end of the pier, taking one last lingering look out over the beach. "I suppose you want me to carry that." He said, his sullen demeanour cracking and the corner of his mouth twitching.
"Don't you want to know what I've called it first?" She smiled.
"Do tell."
"JimJimmy - cos he's cuddly like you." She kissed the bear's head. "But less grouchy."
"JimJimmy." Jim reached out and took the bear into his own arms. "That brings back memories."
"The good old days." She tipped her head to one side as she looked at the pair of them. "I wish I had my camera. Reckon there's one of those photo booths around? I think we need a family photo."
Jim smiled and looked at the ground. "Who said I didn't bring mine? Digital... waterproof."
"Ooh." June grinned. "Can I take a photo then?"
"Well..." Jim rolled his eyes. "I did say who said I didn't� I actually didn't..." He ducked his eyes. "But there's a photo booth in that arcade across the road I think."
"Come on then..." She grabbed his free hand and almost skipped off towards the arcade.
Jim followed her, his attention distracted momentarily by a small shop next to the arcade and the display in the window. He found himself dragged inside the cool noisy arcade, but then stopped. "June... June, before we do this... I need the loo."
"How old are you again Jim?" She laughed. "I'll wait here - JimJimmy can keep me company."
"OK..." Jim's eyes twinkled as he ducked from the arcade and into the small shop next door.
A few minutes later, he returned, tucking something into his bag. "I'm back... how much money have you thrown away in that." He asked, gesturing at the fruit machine.
"Not as much as you gave to the coconut man." June laughed. "And I won some back. JimJimmy must be lucky."
"Nothing like his namesake then. Come on the photo booth is free."
June followed him over and stopped outside it deep in thought. "You know... I don't think we're all going to fit in there."
"And just what *are* you saying?"
"You and JimJimmy are... cuddly... and that booth is rather small."
Jim rolled his eyes. "Oh ye of little faith." He stepped into the booth, sliding into the corner. "See, plenty of room, now get in here."
June slid into the booth, dragging the teddy in too. "My winnings will pay for this." She smiled proudly.
Jim slipped his arm around June's shoulders and bent down so their faces were touching. June slipped in the money and they spent a good ten minutes getting the shot just right. "Smile, JimJimmy." Jim ordered, grinning broadly.
June laughed as the camera flashed and the image popped up on the screen. "Perfect." She smiled. "Do you agree?"
"Absolutely. Now can we get out of here, my back is killing me."
June giggled as she slid out of the booth and leaned up against it waiting for the photos to arrive. She held the teddy up in front of her. "What is he like JimJimmy?"
"June..." Jim tried to attract her attention.
"What Jim?" She looked over to him.
"June... I... um... bought this for you." He reached into his bag and pulled out a small gift box. June looked up at him questioningly, then cracked open the lid, revealing a small gold locket inside.
"Oh Jim." She sniffed wiping away the tears forming in her eyes. "It's beautiful."
"I thought you might, you know, put some pictures in it, and..." Jim shrugged, flushing.
"I love you." She dropped the teddy to the floor and flung her arms around him. "I really love you."
"I love you too." Jim sighed.
***
An hour and a half later, Jim pulled up in front of June's house. The engine fell silent and he looked over at her. "Well... it's been fantastic."
"The best day of my life..." She reached into her handbag and took out the strip of photos, dividing it in and half and handing two to him. "These are for you... to remember the day."
"Thanks." He reached over and kissed her on the nose. "I wish I could stay."
"I wish you could too..." She sighed. "Guess I'll have to make do with him." She gestured into the back seat where the bear was firmly seatbelted in place. "And Toto of course."
"I'll call you, tomorrow, let you know how things went."
"You make sure you do. I'm going to miss you."
"From tomorrow, it's just us." He leant over, kissed her deeply. "The way it's meant to be..."
***
"Jim, is that you?" Jim winced as Marie shouted out the second he closed the door.
"Yeah, sorry I'm late... it's been one of those days." He shrugged off his jacket and hung it up.
"Well, it's the weekend now." Marie looked up as he came into the living room. "You look like you've caught the sun - have you been out a lot?"
"I feel like I've been chasing round after half of Sun Hill." He flushed uncomfortably. "Had a good day?"
"Yes, thanks, you should have seen Oprah today..." Jim faded out as he sat next to her, listening to her drone on.
"Marie..." He finally cut in. "I'm going for a shower."
"I could join you..." She grinned. "It's been so hot here today."
"I think you know the answer to that." He snapped, standing. Marie glared at him as he left the room, not bothering to argue. She turned her attention back to the birthday card on the coffee table, the card for Ben's 16th. He'd asked for money and she'd decided to give him �100, to spend on whatever he wanted. She rooted through her purse and came up �20 short. She shrugged, and headed out into the hall, searching through the pockets of Jim's jacket.
Plucking Jim's wallet out of his jacket she opened it and pulled out a crisp �20 note. As she did so something fluttered to the floor which she scooped up and glanced at. It was the photos from Brighton. "I knew it..." She muttered angrily, shoving the photos and the wallet back into a pocket. "I just knew it."
***
Jim slid in between the cool sheets as Marie appeared at the door. "Early night?" She asked.
"Yeah I could just do with a good night's sleep." He thumped at the pillow burying his head into it.
"Sleeping on the sofa will do that for you. You alright now, you've been like a bear with a sore head all week."
"I'm sorry." Jim muttered through gritted teeth. "I just let things get on top of me."
"Well...there's something I have to tell you that might cheer you up." She stepped into the room, perched on the bed.
"And what's that?" Jim rolled over to look at her.
"Jim, I... we... are pregnant." She smiled.
Jim's mouth fell open. "You're pregnant?"
"That's what I just said. I did a test this morning. You're going to be a dad."
"I can't believe it." He muttered shaking his head. "Excuse me, it's just such a shock."
"I know, to me too, with Ben being 16 tomorrow. But... it's great, isn't it? We'll be a real family."
"You know I always wanted children."
"You'll make a wonderful father." She reached out, stroked his face, ran a hand down his arm.
"I'll do my best... for both of you." He looked up into her eyes.
"I know you will. I do love you, you know, I may not tell you enough."
"I know you do." He held his arms out to her. "I still can't believe it."
"Believe it." Marie breathed. "I think we should celebrate... it's been so long."
"You should rest up..."
"I'm fine... Jim... make love to me. I've missed you."
"I'm really am tired, Marie..."
"Jim..." She leant in, kissed him deeply, pushing him back toward the bed. Jim felt himself responding to her involuntarily as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down to him, kissing her hungrily.
***
He watched her as she slept, a slight smile on her face. Then he stood, padding across the room and pulling the bedroom door open, cursing as it creaked. He padded downstairs, into the lounge, sitting on the sofa, illuminated eerily by a shaft of orange streetlight coming through a gap in the partly drawn curtains. The light caught a teartrack sneaking down his face. He buried his head into his hands. "What have I done?" He murmured softly.
Where just a few hours ago, his future had seemed so certain, now it had again been thrown into turmoil. While he wanted June so much, there was one thing, one thing he had always craved - to be a father. In an ideal world he could have both, but he knew Marie and knew she would never allow it. He had to make a choice. And he knew, deep down, in his very soul which path he would end up choosing. He sobbed heavily. "I'm sorry, June. I'm just so sorry..."
................. on to Part Six
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