Three months later.
It had been a blissful three months, hard at times as they tried to stick to the rules they had laid down for each other. They spent days and nights talking, about everything and nothing, about their childhood, their feelings, their hopes, and silliest fears. They found themselves closer than they had ever been emotionally, the physicality between them restricted to kisses and cuddles, Jim had joked they were like a couple of innocent teenagers in love. But for the last few days, tensions had begun to arise between them, and June began to realise that soon, something would have to change, before a crack could appear that might turn into something a lot more damaging.
She had invited him over for a takeaway and a video, a plan in her mind, one, which she did not like, but one which she knew she had to follow through. She knew now that the foundations of a strong relationship were there, but she had to know how he would react to the change towards something altogether more physical, whether sex between them was still everything, or whether it could be just the thing that made things perfect.
Jim sat slumped on the sofa, picking at the remains of the takeaway in the dish balanced precariously on the arm. June was beside him, sprawled out over the remaining space, her head resting gently on his lap as he ran his fingers through her hair softly. She rolled over onto her back and gazed up at him. "Fancy watching that video now?" She smiled. "I dug it out especially."
"If you insist." Jim smiled. "It's about... Mods and Rockers isn't it? Bet it's violent..." He smirked at her.
"What are you trying to say about me..." She reached her arm out to the coffee table, picked up the remote control and hit play. "Let's see if it brings back any memories." She rolled over onto her side to look at the screen, clasping Jim's hand and holding it close to her.
"Well, you know, June Ackland, Met Sergeant, into violent slasher movies, imagine if that got out."
"Are you threatening my saintly reputation? I'll make you pay for that." She pulled his hand to her mouth, sunk her in teeth in lightly.
"Owwwww..." Jim pouted.
"You're the one who said I have a reputation to live up to." She kissed his hand softly. "Better?"
"Mmmm..." Jim smiled, leaning back into the sofa as the film began.
***
Two hours later, June reached out and grabbed the remote, flipping the video and television off. "Well?" She asked, straightening herself and pulling her legs up to her chest.
"It was... not bad... for an old film." He smiled over at her.
"Old?" June smiled. "I think the end was very symbolic, Jimmy establishing his independence like that."
"And there was me thinking you only enjoyed it for the violence... don't think I didn't see you eyeing those actors up."
"Well, just the one..." June grinned.
"And I suppose I know which one that was. "Jim groaned. "He doesn't look anything like me... he's got bright red hair, and did you see the size of his ears?"
"He looks exactly like you." June nestled up close to him. "Laughs like Mutley though, nothing like your laugh... which is incredible." She ran her hand over his chest.
"Then give me something to laugh about... I haven't laughed properly in such a long time."
"I could tickle you if you like." Her hands slid to his waist.
"You know I don't like that..." He sat bolt upright. "June... don't you dare..."
"You're such a spoilsport." June pouted the retreated to the far end of the sofa, looking at him with large sad eyes.
"I could... tickle you." He leaned across the sofa, his eyes twinkling. "See how you like it..."
"I... don't... like it." She smiled. Then she shuffled back towards him. "You know what part of the film I liked..."
"You mean it wasn't the part where everyone caused a riot... I'd've thought that would be right up your street, Slasher Ackland." He chuckled lightly. "All those men beating each other up on Brighton beach."
"I'd have shown them what for, wielding my ASP... no, it was the scene with Jimmy and Steph... Leslie Ash when she had normal lips..." June rolled her eyes. "In the alleyway. Apparently that alley is famous... a real tourist attraction."
"Really?" Jim breathed. "I wonder why that scene in particular stands out in your mind." He tipped his head to one side and regarded her. "Do tell June..."
"Just kind of brought back memories." She looked up at him slowly.
"A certain night outside The Tavern?" He reached out for hand. "I remember it well."
"So do I..." She laughed when he looked at her askance. "Don't look at me like that, I do."
"Who'd have thought it... fancy a trip to Brighton? A little sight-seeing?" He hiked an eyebrow.
"Jim..." She shook her head, then silenced any further comment by kissing him, forcing his mouth open, taking control.
He pulled her towards him, kissing her hungrily as his hands slid to her waist, holding her tightly. He pulled away for a moment, looking deep into her eyes. "June?"
"What?" She breathed.
"I thought we were taking things slowly?"
"It's been three months..." She pushed him back towards the sofa, playing with his belt buckle.
"But..." He pulled her down on top of him, his hand sliding under the hem of her top, caressing her soft skin as she silenced him with another kiss.
"I can't bear to be this close to you and not..." She breathed, her voice shaking. "Jim, I want you..."
"And I want you but... are you sure...?" He kissed her neck. "I'm not forcing you..."
She looked away, hoping he couldn't see the expression on her face as she slid her hand down his chest, his stomach, then began to tease him lightly. Half of her was sure this needed to be done...the other half - the other half was terrified it would all blow up in her face.
"June..." He breathed, his own hands sliding further up under her top, reaching the silky material of her bra where they stopped, slowly sliding over the material.
Her breath caught in her throat, feeling herself losing control, knowing if she took this too far they would find themselves making love. "Jim..."
"What?" He gasped.
"Jim, I can't do this..."
"I thought you wanted to..." He looked up at her somewhat sadly.
"Jim, I'm sorry." Now full of regret, she backed away, straightening her top and her skirt, barely able to look at him. This was how she had planned it, to take him so far and to pull away, so she could see how he'd react, so she could be sure, but she had never expected to feel such pain, disappointment... and guilt.
"I... I understand..." Jim stood slowly. "I think I should leave, don't you?"
"Yeah..." June nodded, fighting back tears, not moving as Jim stood.
Jim pulled his shirt back over his shoulder, attempting to fasten the buttons then giving up. "I'll... I'll see you at work tomorrow."
June simply nodded once more, unable to speak.
Jim stooped and picked up his shoes, stopping to plant a kiss softly on June's forehead. "I love you."
"Just go..." June snapped.
"I'm going..." Jim felt the tears burning in his eyes, wondering whether he'd pushed things to far and subconsciously kicking himself for it. He left the room apace; grabbing his jacket from the banister and slamming the door behind him feeling the cold air surround his body. The contents of his arms fell to the floor as he leant up against the well, slowly fastening his shirt and belt, before bending down to attend to his shoes. He cursed himself under his breath for letting the situation get out of hand, wiping his tears away with a fist when they spilled over and coursed down his face.
Inside the house, June leant back against the sofa and her body heaved in a sob. She cursed her insecurities, cursed the fact she couldn't trust Jim who had done so much to prove his love and adoration for her, cursed the fact she couldn't just let go and make love to him, without wondering how it would turn out, what the consequences would be. She'd hoped to find out whether or not he would ultimately reject her if this lack of a true physical relationship were to continue, and though now she regretted her actions, she realised that in a perverse way, she had achieved her aim, and the consequences could be fatal...
***
Her head was down, her arms again full of files. The dull ache in her chest still remained, her eyes felt raw from the tears she had shed last night, once again clutching JimJimmy tight against her chest. The stress of the previous night overwhelmed her, and since then Gina Gold had instead she cleared all her paperwork for an audit after her shift finished, something which she realised would take her four or five hours, not letting her be free from this place until six or seven in the evening. At least it took her mind away from her foolish act the previous night, stopped her cursing herself for doing something she had almost convinced herself had ruined everything that she and Jim had built up in the past couple of months, at best putting them back to square one, and worst...
She rounded a corner, coming to a sudden halt as she walked straight into someone coming the other way, the files falling from her grip onto the floor. "Sorry..." She muttered. "My fault."
"It was my fault..." Jim ducked down and began to pick up the files. "Wasn't looking where I was going."
"Jim, leave them..." June said hurriedly, feeling her heart beat nineteen to the dozen at his closeness and his scent, reminding her again how much she had wanted him last night.
"It's OK... won't take a minute." He looked up into her eyes. "Least I can do..."
June shrugged and hunkered down beside him. "Jim...about last night..."
"Forget it... it's in the past..."
"Jim... we said we wouldn't do this." She hissed.
"Wouldn't do what?" He felt his stomach flip at her aggression.
"You know... brush things under the carpet." She picked up a sheaf of papers slid them haphazardly inside a file.
"You seemed really uncomfortable last night... I just didn't want to bring it up again."
"But that is the whole point...." June looked at him, her eyes pained. "I upset you, I don't want you to bottle up how you're feeling."
"You didn't upset me... I was just..." He handed her some files, tensing as his hand brushed softly against hers. "I was just confused."
"Jim... have you got a minute, come into my office." She got slowly to her feet.
"I'm a bit pushed for time... but..." He shrugged. "Go on..."
"We need to talk about this. Properly."
"I can't right now June... maybe later... I'm done for the day... Got stuff to do."
"But I'm going to be stuck here till late... when will I see you?"
"Tomorrow? I'd come round tonight only I've got an early start in the morning." He bit his lip, glanced to one side. "Sorry."
"Then tomorrow it'll have to be." June sighed. She reached out to touch him, frowned when he jerked away.
"I've really got to run... you know what it's like when you get to finish early. I've got so much stuff to catch up with. Call me." He smiled at her, then turned on his heels, heading down the corridor towards the main exit.
"Yeah..." June watched him as he disappeared. In her mind, he couldn�t get away from her fast enough.
................. on to Part Sixteen
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