| well, as most of you who are reading this know, i have shamelessly promoted this website today....i feel horrible, OK no i don't. I need money.....please click on the damn links...i'll love you forever! ok, so today was actually productive i got up fairly early today...around 10:00. I actually got around to spring cleaning today..you should see the trash cans outside! they're overflowing! I guess it's about time i unpacked my boxes from moving considering it's been almost 6 months. I told everyone i knew that i was moving down here because it was cheaper, but i'm nothing but a liar. I moved down here to be closer to J because i didn't want to lose him. I'm supposed to be this empowered independent person, and here i am moving so i can be closer to my boyfriend. I think that's as far from independent as you can get. I'm so damn clingy sometimes, but i don't want anyone to know it. i think if i just act as if i'm in control, and independent then everything will be ok...or at least look ok for the outsiders. I learned that early on from my father. I learned a lot from him...be perfect, be the smartest, be the best at everything....you know stuff like that. So, i feel like shit everytime i fail, or everytime i'm not the best at something. I think that's why i'm so hard on myself all the time, and i think people should feel good about what they do...not like they're scum...of course look who i am to talk. I guess i'm not really in the mood to write, because all i'm gonna do is bitch and complain (as usual) so i will say goodnight for now....julie |
