It's funny or I wouldn't direct you there, but honestly do you really want the kid running that site to procreate?
February 22, 1:45 AM.
Oh, and I'm naming my firstborn Beauregard (although that might be a fleeting whim).

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Hey, Bursts of Over-Zealous Enthusiasm are (is) cool. If you don't really get what I just did, I don't blame you. It takes a lot of artistic vision to figure out. Well, maybe not so much artistic vision as a look into my brain. Not that those come cheap...

I really don't like many ppl right now. You know that last page about me being unavailable. It's true. I'm pretty much fed up with the world and no one alone can change that. What I'm proposing is a total world collaboration to make ppl unstupid. For instance, there's this person (let's call them person A) on icq and every time one of our mutual friends comes on (person B if you will) person A also comes online. Every single fucking time. Even if they already are online. Don't get me wrong, I like the icq knock but not five billion times in rapid succession. Fuck. Person A makes me want to throw Person A off a cliff in short order. That and many other of my grievances will be addressed at a massive bitch session tomorrow to take place on Avenue Road. You heard me. Avenue Road. I'll tell you how it goes. It will hopefully bring me out of hibernation. Don't get your hopes up though. Since my head is pounding, that's all I have to say for now.

OH, and if you decide that you haven't had enough of the web, go here. It's the second coolest web site on the face of the planet, don't you know.

February 23, 2:07 AM.

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I'm supposed to be writing an essay so I'll keep this brief. Here's a weird random chat from icq:

ill-nino:heya. its me steve :O) whats up?

me: steve who? i'm confused.

ill-nino: um well lol if u dont know my last name maybe i have the wrong juliana?
:O)
remember the night of passion
and u said no one ever made u #%@ like i did
and u told me you were surprised that you could even FIT that in there ....

So I won't bore you with the rest. For a sec, I thought it may be the Steve I know b/c he plays practical jokes on ppl, but it wasn't. Just some random guy. Random guys are usually weird. Don't yet know about this one...

Anyway, here are the links I have found for you. The first is a continuation of the one at the top of the page.

Some ppl's children. Wow!
Is this the man for you? I can't believe someone would actually put this up (and that THAT MANY ppl have already visited!).
This site is not all dat special an' all but bear wiit me cause' I jest started. So more will probably come. All I can say is I'm glad that's all he wrote.
Look ma, I learned how to use the automatic page generator on geocities! Oh and there's a link to an illiterate 11-yr old named Devin on the page which isn't great so I'm not linking directly, but feel free to peruse.
Damn, now I can't name my second-born Wellis.

So that's it for today. I've got that stupid essay to write. Damn school. Damn it to hell! So long homeys.
February 24, 11:59 PM. Way to go Team Canada. Double hockey gold this year!

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Statement: "YOU are the worst person on the face of the Earth." Discuss.

Marks will be awarded for eloquence and force of argument.

March 3, 2:12 AM.

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Statement: "I am the worst person on the face of the Earth."

Discussion:
Considering every fibre in my being is focused on NOT doing work, I've had a lot of time for self-reflection. I have decided many things. One of the inconsequential ones is I really like Daft Punk's "Da Funk." It's music to my ears and his ears and her ears and even your ears. I have also amended last night's discussion from being about you to being about me b/c I'm inherently selfish and that's the way it should be.

So, who am I writing this to? Well, no one in particular although I can guess the handful of ppl that will actually see it. Well, here you are. Enjoy my flawed logic. (Note: this trait also makes me the worst)

I used to care about other ppl. I wanted them to feel good on their birthdays, enjoy a nice present at Christmas, be happy at all times. This was silly. Ppl on a mass scale do not deserve my good thoughts. They are too caught up in their own little world to be bothered by my kind words. In fact, I would venture to say that they are annoyed by my well-wishing. As a consequence, I will no longer wish them well so they won't be "guilted" into giving me the time of day. It's that simple.

My expectations of others are too high. This places an unfair burden on my fellow man. I know it's silly, but I thought the basic rules included doing unto others as you'd want them to do unto you. For me, this translated as returning phone calls promptly (when I get them. I bear no responsibility for messages given to my family members), holding the door for those coming in after you, saying please and thank you... basically all the common courtesies. I have learned that no one should be expected to do such things and in the spirit of the previous paragraph, I will discontinue random acts of kindness. They are not worth it.

I take things too personally. For instance, if you're supposed to contact me for some reason and you don't, I think this directly translates into you not liking me. How utterly ridiculously. In the same way, if we have firm plans (as in, okay I'll see you Friday for ice skating at 8:54 PM. I'll call you when I get home from work at 7:45) and you're just not home when I call and then act as if nothing happened when I talk to you next, I also see it as some slight. [This has only happened once with someone but it hurt enough] I will amend my ways since it is obvious that you are selfish too and I would be unreasonable to think I'm high enough in anyone's thoughts to keep all plans with me. From this day forth, I will remember that I'm only there for you when YOU want me there. Otherwise, I should cease and desist all attempts to contact you.

I am stupid. This is a fact. Everything's way over my head. (besides journalism b/c everyone knows zero effort equals B and little effort equals an A-). I'm just not an intellectual. What am I doing in university you ask? Fucked if I know. I don't know how I'm going to make it another year. What I do know is society places too much emphasis on that damn piece of paper. Damn piece of paper! If only class was interesting...

So in conclusion (mostly b/c I'm tired of writing this piece of shit), I hate everyone b/c everyone hates or has no feelings about me. I don't care if you don't think this is true. I, being the worst person on the face of the Earth, think it's true so your opinion is void. Have a nice life. Oh wait, I don't mean that (please see one of the first points).

March 4, 1:46 AM.
I don't even know what this means. I'm tired of all this shit, yo!

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It's amazing what good conversation can do to lighten an awful mood. Let's hope everything pans out like it's supposed to now. Otherwise I'm just going to explode. That wouldn't be cool at all.

So I'm at work today and this woman I work with tells me she no longer drinks Fresca. Upon hearing this sacrilege, I immediately inquired why she no longer cared for my champion of uncolas and she said it was b/c it contains aspartame which is infinitely bad for you. She also doesn't drink dairy (for some reason I can't remember) and does other weird dietary stuff. Not that I wish bad on my coworker but it's utterly ironic when ppl who think they're taking such good care of themselves get hit by buses. I don't know. Maybe I'm being ridiculous, but I kind of like it when I see 80 year olds alive and kicking who've smoked a pack a day since birth. The underdog is beating the odds or something. (This isn't nearly as cool as it was when I was conceiving this mini-rant. I'll try again later. Maybe.)

Anyway, just wanted everyone to know I hadn't donned cement shoes and jumped into a six foot well (being so unbelievably short, I would have drowned in short order and seen the surface of the water - and life-giving air - as I did it. What a cruel way to go. I'm saving that thought for someone who *really* pisses me off.) I will be alive for a while longer even if I get bored. See ya,

March 10, 2:50 AM

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