Tonight I'm excessively tired. I don't know what it is (besides the tremendous sleep deficit I continually live with). There is only one thing I feel like ranting about. You see, I never get my phone messages even when I specifically come in and ask if anyone called for me. That screws me over in more ways than one as I will show you.
First of all, I have these stupid phone rules (not that I always strictly adhere to them, but they are in place). For one, if you tell me you will call me and you don't, I will not call you until you call me (this one's broken a lot depending on the circumstances). As well, when these ppl "don't" call me, I feel bad. Am I not worthy enough to warrant a call in this person's mind? Am I so forgettable that a call is too much to ask? So I get a little sad and tell myself these ppl are not worthy of my attention. (it helps, but not so much)
Thing is, most of the time these ppl have given me a ring-ding-ding, I just wasn't home and no one told me. Consequently I am making someone else doubt their total coolness. Recently this happened to me twice. One of them I am still very angry about. You see, one of my friends is in Guelph for school and now for work too. I lost her new number and one day I ran into her sister and got it again. That night I called her and she was like "I've got a million things going on right now (as in company and talking to her family on the other line), can I call you tomorrow?" So I respond, "of course," and I hear nothing. Undaunted (b/c it's possible she also lost my number), I call her back 2 days later only to find she is visiting her family who live a five minute walk from my house. So I think, "If that bitch doesn't want to call, them I'm totally not going to call her!" And tonight I found out she called 3 or 4 days ago and it looks like I'm a total bitch b/c I didn't call her when she was in town. I need to make my computer an answering machine so these kinds of things don't happen. Until then, if I don't call you back within a day or two, I didn't get the message. Don't fall into my phone rule trap, call me, I want to hear from you. Ciao for now, I'm sleepy (but waiting for something, so I'll be up a little longer but not doing this). May 24, 2:18 AM.
Another day, no dollars b/c I didn't work today. It was great. After a little bit of interruption (care of my little niece) I went back to sleep until 1:45 PM! I was very impressed, but as a result, I won't be able to sleep tonight. That's okay, it'll give me a chance to recount my very odd dream. I will tell it in the form of a story.
So it's starts out with me reversing my friend's car down a crowded street with parked cars everywhere. (I say friend, but I haven't seen this girl since high school, much less had the opportunity to drive her car, but whatever. There's also a passenger, but I don't know who it is). So she says: "You know, you should be careful. You might hit a car." No sooner had the words escaped her mouth when I hit a nice black parked car complete with tinted windows. So she's like: "Oh shit! Did anyone see you? Let's just drive away." So I look around and sure enough, the whole neighbourhood is out watering their lawns and didn't miss my accident. So I tell her we can't leave and we sit there wondering what to do.
Soon we are surrounded by black-suited men wearing sunglasses and the car disappears and we're in a garage with the remnants of the car I hit. (It looks a lot worse than it should, but I don't argue with the crazy guys). Then the mafia man owner of the car comes out and tells us he can't get a mechanic involved so we'll have to fix his car or else he'll do something bad (probably kill us, but I wasn't about to ask). So he gives us some paint that changes colours upon application (not chameleon paint, but paint that changes every colour of the rainbow at whim. Very strange indeed!)
Unbeknownst to us, he is watching while we work. All of a sudden, he pulls me aside and says, "I really like your work ethic."
Then I woke up.
I wonder what it all means?
Ya, I don't know what else to write tonight. I'll let you ponder that for a while. Bye for now, 1:39 AM, May 25 - Jeff L.'s birthday for all who are interested (I remember, b/c his is exactly a month after mine).
Anyhow, Hey you Neurotic Heffer,
The Figi Monkey is really an anemic hemophiliac who, after believing zoanthropy and having some fruitopia and a reefer, turned into a pyromaniac. He did incredible quackerisms and caused an inferno.
The gigolo shafted the meningococcal infected Bus to Hell. Before that, he enjoyed the company of the reincarnated demon, Larabee.
The whore and the wench were practicing rituals of zendik. At the same time, the hemaphrodite was washing cars, ostensibly for charity but really for his/her own evil purposes.
The martinet enjoyed sharing my parents connubial bed. As a result, their union almost ended acrimoniously as a punk continually lambasted my father while throwing bibelot's around their room.
The paripatetic artist was so fascinated by the egress of the high tech jobs in Ottawa that he propitiated their employers by painting wonderful portraits of stripling young ppl willing to work for less money so they would continue their downsizing.
Sincerely, Cheezy Chaz and Groovin' Chazlyne The above is an excerpt from this crazy paragraph my friend Amanda and I put together of cool words we found in grade nine. I also decided to add to it and I put in all the words I got with my word of the day at dictionary.com. I've only be signed up for a week, so there weren't that many. Maybe I'll add to it later. Probably not. That's enough retarditity for tonight. I'll be back tomorrow. 12:41 AM, May 26. Yo Homes, what up?
What's with all the new coolios stealing music from a long time ago? Sean "rip off artist" Combs and the like. Lady Marmalade (which I found on Napster while searching for Our Lady Peace on a dare) was totally better when Patti Labelle did it. It had a certain je ne sais quoi about it. One that cannot be substituted by a new rap section and scantily clad women strutting their stuff. [As an aside, the moment I finished downloading the Patti Labelle version, someone was downloading it from me. The same was not true for the new version. Proves my point or it would if the new one was not being propigated through the napster filters at an alarming rate, especially compared to Patti's rarer version.]
I'm excited, I get a week off from work and it may be paid. I'm taking a road trip so - brace yourself - I won't be updating this for a week or so next month. I may go into withdrawal and you definitely should. It's going to be great. I've been told to visit Winnipeg, but I don't think there's anything cool over there. Maybe Quebec City (my friend wants to see the old section, but there are so many hills!) or just some good old-fashioned camping. We will probably keep moving. I'll keep you posted (or not, b/c I have no emotional attachment to you, if I don't know you. Of course, if I don't know you, you probably skipped this weird story section. I would unless you proved very intriguing, but these days nothing really is. It's quite sad really.)
Language is so flexible. Too flexible if you ask me. Too many words, too many misinterpretations, too many stupid ppl to misinterpret things. Everything can sound excellent in a message, but two words, words the author probably thought nothing of, can throw the whole thing down the shitter. But perhaps, if the author is crafty like me, those words were supposed to be there to leave a sub-conscious message that most individuals would not pick up on.
Well, that's enough for tonight. If I go to bed in 3 minutes, I can grab (gasp) 8 hours of sleep before I go to work. It probably won't happen, but whatever. Yo, if you've read this far, you might as well leave something on my cool (empty) message board. Call yourself the chameleon king and I'll know you're hard-core. Good night. 1:57 AM, May 27. PS: remind me to describe my mud-seller's crazy new scheme tomorrow.
I didn't know what to write today, but looking over the last few words from yesterday I can write about my crazy mud seller friend again. She's suckered one of our mutual friends to come to her meeting tomorrow. You know, I really did tell her how unimpressed I was with the product. She's a resilient sucker, though, and she STILL asked if I wanted to join the company. So I came up with "I'm sorry, but I really don't think that I could sell a product I don't believe in" (which is true) and she asked if I would try using mud masks on my face to "rid it of impurities and make it smooth like a newborn baby". Then maybe I would change my mind about "selling". It sounds almost like I'd be dealing drugs or something. So high-pressure! I've promised I'll try it but I know that I will NOT be instantly transformed into a mud freak. If I am, I'll have Lindsay take me out back and beat some sense into me on a stick covered, ironically, in the very mud she will be trying to rid me of.
I had another vivid dream yesterday. Let's just say that I cut my own hair and I made a huge bald line running from my left temple to the back of my head. Very disturbing. I will not be cutting my own hair anytime soon, although I am permitting Marlene to give me foil highlights next week. Let's hope I don't regret it.
That's enough for tonight, I work in about nine hours and I need my beauty sleep (for once). I hope you appreciate the effort I put into this every night. Actually, it's not too much effort since I check my email compulsively before I sleep anyway. Good night. 12:50 AM, May 28.
I'm sleepy. Good night. :) May 29 --> 12:30 AM.
Fuck, fuck, FuCk, FUCK! This is my third attempt at saving this tonight. I don't know what's wrong with my internet, but it's just not working out tonight. I will try to replace the gold I wrote (twice!) again, but next time, I'm copying it so I can paste it if anything goes wrong again.
Yeah, so I won't be writing copious amounts tonight b/c I just spent the better part of an hour putting my Mikes page together (Check it out!). I have one pearl of wisdom to impart if you hold your breath long enough for me to impart it.
Although this hasn't happened to me recently, do you realize how many ppl you slight on any given day? You know, the person you didn't hear talking to you, someone trying to connect with you on some interpersonal level. The bus driver you didn't smile back at. The cashier you were bitchy at (yes Costco shoppers, I'm referring to YOU). The homeless person you turned a blind eye to. Ppl suck sometimes. I'm going to make a concerted effort not to ignore ppl and not feel neglected if someone accidentally does it to me. Then the whole world will be a better place. Who's with me? Anyway, I'm going to read my Cosmo and watch Match Game at 1:00. Good night coolios and have a good day tomorrow - I know I will it's my first of two days off. 12:46 AM, May 30.
So tonight my computer sucks ass! I am very tired so I'll write very little. All I want to know is why this damn page won't save instantly like it used to? I just "fixed" it so you can access this page from the index (instead of going through all the pages) and I had to save like 5 times AND, get this, it was probably really saved the first time but not showing up as saved in my file manager. I just don't get it. Here goes with saving this tonight. Au revoir, May 31 - 1:46 AM.
Drinking is fun so I did some tonight. No drugs but there's always tomorrow...
Life is much better today than it was yesterday (even better than I earlier described. Those in the know will know what I'm referring to) Life is falling into place again, however the fragile bits of my eggshell puzzle could shatter at any time. Watch out, don't step on me! This is my first slightly drunken entry. I think I like it, although I will not be ruining my liver all the time to type this thing. You're just not worth it, but I should be damn it.
Anyway, I must call Andrea soon. Perhaps tomorrow.
I think I over-analyze, can you tell?
12 days until my vacation begins. I'm excited!
PS - our mutual friend was not lured to the cult meeting after all. She went on a date instead. Very smart!