I saw two early birds catching the worm the other morning. I took it as a sign I should probably be at home in bed.
CRICKEY - TIMES TWO!!!
I can't even believe it. I wrote a few paragraphs and now it's all gone. I was crikey-ing before b/c someone looked at this page when it was in progress. I thought I'd be gone for a fifteen minutes so I saved it but I was gone for hours. I apologize profusely. I promise that it won't happen for at least week.
While I'm apologizing, I must tell you that I regret the lack of updates lately. It's not that I'm not doing anything... it's just what I'm doing is a little racy for this forum. I do have something to make it up to you, though. Links, links, LINKS:
It's like a train wreck... I checked it out for over an hour last night. Thanks Lisa!
Why don't you see what lysergic acid diethylamine can do for you?
If that wasn't a typo, I've got first dibs...?
I promise I won't drive away on you when I'm the getaway driver.
So I was addicted to this game for a bit. Let's hope I'm over that.
"The cat came back the very next day. The cat came back. We thought it was a goner."
PS: Lisa's thinking of becoming a vegetarian.
When I get all bitter, I'm going to make me one of these. Oh, wait a minute...
I hope that's enough links for now. I don't feel like sifting through them anymore. Also, I'm secretly worried I've already posted that last one. Oh well, it IS a keeper. Worth a second look if you ask me.
Did I tell you I was into crazy love songs at the moment? The Dirty Dancing soundtrack is music to my ears right now. Other slower love-y type songs too. I'm pathetic, I know, but when you compare love to diamond mines, you just can't go wrong! Anyhow, it's time for a shower and such. Yay day off!
May 27, 3:58 PM.
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Why sleep when I can do web update? I'll have to get up anyway. Why even go to bed? Hey, the same can be said for sleeping... I'm just going to do it again anyway. Why even get up? Well, on that last point, good company and liquor helps. Liquor REALLY helps.
Secret code of the day:
Xyn byc rmdi qj , ,h o.fc x,by n.m: , ih.x ,b[s hcfcv t.,ht b. yq//cho
Open code of the day:
Lindsay, I'm going to miss you when you're living it up in Jacksonville. I suppose we'll always have Marlene's basement and that great cake...
So I can't keep my eyes open and one of them's crying so I bid you adieu.
PS: I can see your underwear.
PPS: I like it.
PPPS: I still have to email JB...
June 2, 2:38 AM.
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I like it when you go to bed...
When it happens, no longer do I have to wait in nervous anticipation for you to call me up or send me something or do whatever. You just don't exist for a few hours (or eight or whatever). I can be me. Whatever that is. Alone. Without worry or full of worry. Listening to my crazy playlist. Not going to bed for fear I'll wake up. For fear that something bad will happen when I do actually sleep.
I wonder if anyone thinks of me during the day...
Like, if there could be a "there's someone thinking about you metre" in everyone's wallet that would be cool. I think it would make me feel good to know someone was wondering where I was or what I was doing or what have you. Even better, everyone I think about would feel special b/c the wonder that is me was thinking about them.
I wish that I could make up my mind...
About who I liked and who I loved and what the world was about. Of course, then the rest of my -insert self-depracating comment here- life would be meaningless. But is it really full of meaning anyway? I mean, I don't see myself doing much. You know that game - six degrees of separation... well, if I make person A happy who in turn makes person B happy and who, through infinite persons eventually makes important person Z happy, have I really accomplished anything? I'm sure that it wouldn't matter if I made person A happy or if some sort of daisy in a gutter did. The end result would probably be the same without me. I'm not Eminem, you know. Truth is, I'm a elitist of sorts. In terms of raw numbers, I can think of at least three ppl I'm in contact with that I don't really like. Oh wait, up that to four. They don't know. Probably won't know now b/c I'm almost positive three of those don't read this mofo. May not even know of its existence. Does this make me evil - talking to and/or hanging out with ppl that I don't really like? Probably, but I have this irrational fear of dying cold and alone so why not form attachments and do stuff while I'm around? I think it's mandatory. Damn mandatory, conformist behaviour.
While I'm being all negative...
Why the hell does everyone have to be so damn confusing? Well, not everyone, but tons of ppl are too confusing for words. Actually, forget that. I'm probably pretty confusing too. Or maybe I'm just as easy to predict and understand as the next person. I think I understand a lot of ppl's motivations and reasonings b/c I've spent a lot of time thinking about the subject. I'm no expert, but blah. Fuck it.
Why isn't anyone there when I happen to need someone to be there?
Is this some cosmic joke? When's the appropriate time to tell someone your problems without being afraid they won't talk to you b/c you're too high maintenance? You know, I'm pretty high maintenance although I put on a good front. A damn good front.
Fuck this shit, I'm going home.
I'm just in a terribly pensive mood. I feel ick. Ninety per cent of ppl I know have been acting differently than I've expected them to. That's much higher than my usual fifteen to twenty per cent. Maybe my expectations are too high or ppl just don't give a damn about others anymore. Just me and a few archaic throwbacks to a different time want everyone that matters to be happy. Is that unreasonable?
Damn it.
So your journey to my page isn't a total loss. I've collected quite a few links that I haven't put up so I'm thinking I'll clear out my bookmarks right now. Right now as I talk to miss vapid on-fucking-line. I'm in such a state, I'm almost considering calling her on all her lies. That or making friends with her. That would be crazy. Fucking crazy indeed.
Can't go wrong when a cartoon features sperm with football helmets...
I bookmarked it, so it should have some redeeming value. Yay goth...?
Problem solving for dummies
I'd say only at Carleton, but this clearly wasn't.
Don't like the taste of coffee, but need a caffeine pick-me-up? This is your answer.
So there's no way for me to preamble this. Just read it, I guess.
I generally condemn the weak-minded. That sentence has nothing to do with this boy.
PS: There's a glowing light radiating from her gorgeous, illustrious locks. That and she's the anti-christ. No joke.
Hey, it's a funny fake story. I like it b/c I fake stories all the time for class. Reminds me of the good old days...
So that's it for now. I'm calling queen vapid on one of her foibles. She's ignoring me. Quel surprise.
PS: Lindsay, I hope you're doing well. I'll be emailing you a letter shortly when I'm not quite a ball of apathy.
June 6, 2002. 3:22 AM
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So today's another day. I met the most charming individual at work and we're going to be married at some point soon I'm sure. The only thing is, his first name is Michael. Like I don't know enough Mikes...
Today was okay. Not super, but what day really is? I may be slightly apathetic still, but I'm finding the humour in other ppl's retardidity more these days. Why are ppl such morons? It's unreal. Unreal! Work's going by super fast these days. I don't quite understand, but at least it's not hell on earth. That would suck so badly I might die. Or might kill ppl in my dreams. That didn't happen last night, by the by. No nightmares for me...
So I've realized that I have nothing to say. No links either. Why update? I have no idea. Maybe it's to let a certain new Floridian know that I'll be updating more for her benefit now that I can't always come over in the middle of the night.
June 7 - my favourite Lindsay's birthday - 2:06 AM
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