chapter7-9

CHAPTER 7

Lance was busy at the bar. He�d already had 5 beers and was quickly finishing his sixth. He wasn�t a big drinker; in fact, he hardly ever drank at all. But he figured this was a good enough excuse to get drunk. He�d basically ruined his life in a matter of minutes. Above all, Joey�s friendship meant the world to him and he�d screwed it up. He�d completely forgotten about how hungry he was until his stomach made a loud noise. He wasn�t completely wasted yet, so he figured it was ok to go to the restaurant to get a quick bite to eat. Once he was finished, Lance decided to head up to his room. He wasn�t completely sober but sober enough to realize that if he drank any more he would be in a huge amount of physical pain in the morning. He didn�t want to add any pain to what he was already feeling. �This sucks,� he thought to himself. Just as he was passing by Chris�s room, the door opened and out came Joey, who slammed into Lance, knocking them both over.

�Uhhh,� Joey groaned.

�Just great,� Lance thought, �did I have to run into Joey? Why not Chris or Justin?� �Sorry Joey,� Lance said, praying that Joey would talk to him. He needed to hear Joey�s voice, even it was yelling at him for something.

Joey�s head jerked up when he heard who had spoken to him. Lance? Joey couldn�t believe Lance had spoken to him. What should he do? Run away and ignore him? Talk to him? Joey was confused. �Um, no problem�� Joey trailed off.

�Can I talk to you in the morning?� Lance asked.

�What about?� Joey challenged, �I thought you wanted nothing to do with me?�

�Joey, I� can we please just talk tomorrow?� Lance pleaded.

�Yeah, whatever,� Joey mumbled, walking away. His mind was on over load. Why would Lance talk to him now if he meant what he said. And if he didn�t mean what he said, why did he say it? This was too much for Joey to handle. He slowly walked down the hall to his room, stripped to his boxers and climbed into bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Justin and JC said goodbye to Chris for the night and left his room. When they did, they saw Lance sitting on the floor in the hall, staring out into space, his face wet with tears. JC was still pissed at Lance so he stomped by, heading for his room. Justin paused when he saw Lance, put a hand on his shoulder and smiled when Lance looked up. He�d always had a soft spot for Lance and didn�t want him to be upset either. He quickly remembered that he still needed to talk to JC, so he hurried to catch up with him.

Chris lay in his bed, wondering what was going to happen to the group. He knew Joey was still very hurt, but he hoped that Lance would have the balls to tell him the truth soon. If they didn�t get all the confusion cleared up, they would fall apart. Not to mention that if anyone found out about this, Nsync would probably be over. They would lose all the fans that thought they�d marry Justin, Joey, or Lance. And some fans would just be disgusted with them. And then there was the whole religious factor. If any of the fans were Catholic, they would probably shun Nsync too. �I shouldn�t think about that yet,� Chris told himself. He needed to convince Lance to tell the guys his secrets, and then maybe everything could be fixed. �Man,� he thought, �I hate being in the middle of this mess.�

Lance fell asleep and didn�t wake up until the next morning. When he woke up, he was very confused as to why he was on the floor. He began to panic, but then remembered what had happened. His heart rate picked up again when he realized he�d asked to talk to Joey today. �Shit,� he thought, �how am I going to tell him?�

CHAPTER 8

Justin caught up with JC and when he asked, JC had agreed to talk to him. Justin wasn�t sure how he was going to tell JC this, but he knew he needed to get all these bizarre feelings off his chest. �JC?� Justin said, �I have another confession to make.

�What is it Justin?� JC asked, wondering what else Justin could possibly tell him.

�I think I�m in love with Lance,� Justin whispered.

�WHAT?� JC yelled.

�Yeah, I know. But I�m really scared because of the way he acted when Joey told him he was gay. I don�t think I could handle being rejected,� Justin said sadly.

�Well, I think the best thing would be for you to wait and see what happens. For all we know Lance could be apologizing to Joey right now,� JC said, trying to convince Justin, �I�m sure there�s nothing to worry about Justin.�

�Maybe you�re right, C,� Justin said.

�I�m always right,� JC said with a wink.

�That you are,� Justin agreed.

Lance got up and went back to his room to shower before he had to talk to Joey. He was still exhausted, and his neck hurt like hell because he was in a strange position all night. After he�d showered, he started to pace. He wondered what he was going to say to Joey. How could he tell him? How would Joey react? All these questions were swimming around in his mind, driving him insane. He was starting to get a headache. He went into the bathroom to get some advil before heading over to Joey�s room. He knocked on Joey�s door nervously.

Joey opened the door and sighed. He wasn�t sure if he was ready to talk to Lance. He didn�t know what to expect and was a little scared of what would happen. �Come in,� he said, opening the door wider.

�Thanks,� Lance said mechanically.

�Yeah�� Joey tailed off. They stood in an uncomfortable silence for what seemed like forever.

Finally Lance spoke, �About the other day, Joey.�

�Yeah?� Joey asked carefully.

�I� I�m sorry,� Lance said hanging his head.

�What? Then why did you say all that stuff?� Joey asked, confused.

�Umm, because, well, I don�t know how to tell you this, Joe,� Lance stammered.

�Just say it Lance,� Joey sighed.

�Well, this isn�t going to make sense, but it�s because I�m gay too,� Lance finally admitted. He already felt a weight lifting off his shoulders.

�You�re WHAT?� Joey yelled.

�I�m gay,� Lance said again. It was getting easier to say each time.

�But then, why did you say all those horrible things�?� Joey wondered out loud, hurt evident in his voice.

�I honestly don�t know, Joey. I was afraid of being found out. I just thought that if I said those things, no one would figure me out. I was being totally selfish, and I am so sorry,� Lance said pouring his heart out.

�How could you do this to me Lance? I thought you were my best friend? How could you be so freakin� selfish?� Joey said, getting madder by the second.

�I don�t know Joey, all I can say is that I�m really sorry, and I hate myself for doing this to you,� Lance said sincerely.

�Get out,� Joey said, �I don�t want to look at you right now.�

And another heart broke.

CHAPTER 9

Justin woke up the next morning feeling much better. Ever since he�d come out to his friends he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. But not all the weight was gone. He still hadn�t told Lance how he felt. He was very scared and wasn�t sure if he had enough courage to do it. He decided just to wait and see what happened. He�d just wait it out. He looked over at the clock and wondered if Joey was up yet. He decided to go see what Joey was going to do and if he could join him. He walked over to Joey�s room and knocked. A few seconds later he heard Joey�s voice yell, �who is it?�

�It�s me, Justin. And since when do you ask who it is?� Justin wondered aloud. Joey opened the door for Justin and explained, �since Lance came here this morning.�

�He did?� Justin asked, surprised, �I thought he hated you�. I mean��

�I know what you mean, I thought that too� he came to apologize. But he didn�t give a reason. He just said he was sorry. And I told him to get out. He looked sad but he hurt me too badly to not give me a good reason,� Joey told Justin.

�Hmmm, that�s weird. He�d usually tell you why,� Justin said, trying to figure out what was going on.

�Yeah, I know. I�m really confused. And since I told him to get away from me, I will have to go to him this time. Maybe I�ll wait a few days and then talk to him,� Joey suggested.

�Sounds good I guess,� Justin replied, �so what are you doing today?�

�Nothin� I guess�� Joey trailed off, �you wanna rent movies and stay in all day? We haven�t had a day off in a while. What do you say?�

�Sure,� Justin agreed, �just us?�

�Yeah, that�d be cool,� Joey said.

�Ok, I�ll go rent the movies, what do you want to watch?� Justin asked.

�Surprise me,� Joey answered.

�Knock. Knock.� Chris got up off the couch and turned off his TV before answering the door. �Hey Jace, what�s going on?� Chris asked.

�Just wanted to talk� you busy?� JC replied.

�Nope, come on in,� Chris said.

�Cool�� JC tailed off.

�So what�s up?� Chris questioned a curious look on his face.

�The group is falling apart,� JC said simply.

�Yeah, tell me about it, what should we do?� Chris wondered aloud.

�I have no clue,� JC replied, �maybe we should have a group meeting so everyone can talk it out and we can fix this mess.�

�Sounds good to me� anything to make everyone happy again,� Chris said.

Lance couldn�t remember ever crying this much in his life. He couldn�t believe how much he�d messed up his life. Joey hated him. Get out, I don�t want to look at you right now, echoed over and over in his mind. �I hurt him so bad,� he thought to himself. He should hate me. I hate me too. God, what have I done to my life? Maybe I should just kill myself. Then no one would have to worry about me ruining their lives. I don�t think anyone would miss me. Maybe my parents, but not the guys. They all hate me for what I said to Joey. Well, maybe Chris doesn�t, but the others guys do. And the only person I�ve ever really loved hates me. I hate my life.

When Justin returned from the movie rental store, his arms were overflowing with movies. �Did you rent out the store Justin?� Joey joked.

�Ha ha, I wasn�t sure what you wanted so I just got a lot of different ones,� Justin explained.

�Ok, whatever. Put one in,� Joey replied.

�Ok,� Justin said, popping a random movie in the player. Once the previews were over Joey laughed and said, �Austin Powers?�

�The one and only,� Justin said, laughing with him. Joey suddenly stopped laughing when his eyes connected with Justin�s. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Joey leaned in, closer and closer. Their lips had almost met when Justin spoke,

�What are you doing, Joe?� Justin asked.

�Um, kissing you?� Joey said, more a question then an answer.

�I can�t Joey. I� Well� I think I�m in love with Lance,� Justin admitted.

�You�re WHAT?� Joey yelled loudly.

�I�m not sure but I think I love him,� Justin confirmed.

�But I� You don�t� I thought�� Joey stumbled, trying to explain, �I�m such an idiot. I�m sorry Justin. I don�t know what I was thinking.�

�It�s ok. It�s not that I don�t like you Joey. You�re an awesome person and my best
friend. But I can�t help how I feel,� Justin told Joey. Joey flinched when just said friend. Joey wanted more. But Justin had to love Lance. He felt a strange feeling in his chest. He wasn�t sure, but he figured it was probably his heart breaking all over again.