| Chapter 12 |
| Justin choked on his coffee, a few drops spilling out from between his lips and splashing onto the counter. "Shit," he said quietly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and grabbing a few napkins to clean up his mess. Walking to the trash can to throw away the soiled napkins, Lance spoke again, a little louder than last time, and firmer. "Did you forget our anniversary Justin?" Justin sighed and turned to face Lance. They made eye contact, and Justin lost the nerve to say whatever lie had popped into his head. Instead, his lips moved, but no sound came out. Lance stared at him, the guilty look in Justin's eyes being the only answer he needed. Leaping up from his chair quickly, he began to leave the room. Justin saw him go and grabbed his arm. "Lance, wait-" Lance whirled around, shoving Justin away from him. "Don't fucking touch me," he said. Justin's eyes widened. "Why?" Even as the word left his mouth he knew how stupid it sounded. When Lance's eyes widened in shock, Justin prepared himself for the screaming that was to come from the smaller man. When nothing happened, he looked up to find Lance looking perfectly calm. "Tell me something Justin," he said softly. "Did you write that song for me?" Justin swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. He would have preferred Lance hit him than bring this up. Slowly, he opened his eyes and shook his head. Lance blinked. "Did JC write the song?" he asked quietly. Justin nodded. Lance let out a shuddering breath. "Does JC... is he ... gay?" Justin nodded. "Does he like me?" Justin nodded again. Lance leaned back against the wall for support, staring at the floor for a few seconds before looking back up at Justin. "Talk to me J." Justin sighed. This wasn't going to be easy, but it had to be done. He sat down at the table and stared at his hands. He heard footsteps beside him and a chair scrape the floor, and soon Lance was sitting down next to him. "Look at me Justin." Justin glanced up and into Lance's eyes. He could see a mixture of hurt, anger and confusion pooling within them, but on top of that all was a need for understanding. That was his cue. Taking a deep breath, he spoke quietly. "I was jealous," he said quietly. Lance nodded, but kept quiet, knowing Justin would talk at his own speed. "Things haven't been great or easy between us for a while now, and I knew it was partially my fault. *I* pulled away first. *I* asked for the extra hours at work. *I* ignored you at night and hurt you when I always said I never would." He leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his curls, looking up at Lance. "Then comes JC. This beautiful man with a beautiful voice, and from the first day I met with him and caught him staring at your picture I knew he had seen in you what I see everyday." Justin tried to ignore the pain in his heart at the slight blush that stained Lance's cheeks, and he kept talking. "Then you met at lunch that day, and while I was busying myself with trying to make it up to you, I also watched him. Or really, I watched him watch you." Lance shook his head. "It's true Lance. I'll bet you anything Joey and Chris saw it too. Anyway, after that it became a subtle competition for me. I love you Lance, and I didn't want to lose you." "You were never going to Justin," interrupted Lance. He looked like he wanted to say more, but left it at that. Justin nodded, taking a sip of his coffee and continuing. "When you confronted me in the kitchen a while ago, I realized how close I was coming to losing you." Lance said nothing. "I did everything I could after that to try and win you back. I guess I got so caught up in you and me and how happy we were again..." The small smile on his face faded as he sighed, "...that I forgot one of the most important days in my life." He met Lance's eyes. "I panicked Lance. Here we were, doing so well again, and I fucked it up" he snapped his fingers, "just like that." He met Lance's eyes with his watery ones. "I'm so sorry Lance. I didn't mean to hurt you, or JC for that matter." Lance nodded. "I know that Justin. I don't understand your actions at all since I *loved* you, but I guess I know you didn't *try* to hurt me." He sighed. "But you still did. Badly. JC too." He shook his head. "I- I really don't know what to do now. About us." Justin nodded, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, but a small sob caught in his throat. "I- I'm sorry La-Lance," he said, his words shuddering with his ragged breathing. "I didn't mean to fuck up everybody's life like this. I swear. I'm sorry. I'm... sorry." Lance nodded, standing up in front of Justin and pulling the younger man into his arms. He rocked gently as Justin sniffled and sobbed into his shoulder, squeezing him like he would disappear if he were to let go. Lance pulled back, wiping Justin's wet cheek with his fingers and then wrinkling his nose at his hand. Looking around, he shrugged and wiped it on Justin's shirt, making him laugh. Lance grinned. "It's my shirt anyway," he chuckled. "I don't care." Justin smiled, enjoying the feeling of Lance holding him and rubbing his back, and yet knowing that it wouldn't last forever. He sighed, looking at the clock. It was barely noon. "I should talk to JC, right?" he asked. "Apologize?" "Definitely," Lance said firmly. "That was awful, what you did. But, it's done now ... and we need to move on." Justin nodded sadly, somehow knowing that Lance was talking about more than just him and JC. ~*~ JC finished tying his shoes and got up off the bed. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was all ready 1:30. He smiled at the sunlight pouring from his window. 'Today is definitely a good day for the park,' he thought. 'Time to clear my head of stressful things. Not to mention a certain beautiful, green-eyed blonde ... who shall remain nameless.' JC snorted softly. 'Hmm, I wonder who that could be?' Grabbing his empty duffel bag off the floor, JC tossed his Walkman, headphones, batteries, notebook, pencil, and baseball cap inside. Making sure he had money, he shoved his wallet into his back pocket. 'There. All set to go.' Just as he was running a hand through his hair to get one stray piece to stay down, the doorbell rang. "Ah shit," he said softly. 'Who can that be? If it's the landlord coming for rent I better get the hell out of here.' JC sighed and jogged out into the living room as the doorbell kept ringing. "I'm coming!" he yelled. With a slight growl, JC opened the door, prepared to tell whoever was on the other side to go the fuck away. "Who the he-" he started, his eyes widening as he saw who was staring back at him from the other side of the door. The very *last* person he expected to see. "Justin." |