| Chapter 13 |
| JC stood perfectly still, staring at Justin's nervous face. Fisting his hands around his duffel bag tighter, he sighed. "What are you doing here?" Justin cleared his throat, making eye contact with JC the best that he could. "We need to talk," he said quietly. "About a lot of things. Please JC, just give me a few hours of your time. That's all I'm asking for. Nothing else." JC closed his eyes, thinking it over inside his head. He honestly wasn't sure if he was ready for this yet. Who knows if he would get the urge to beat the shit out of Justin again, and this time there wouldn't be Lance to stop him. Still, things couldn't stay the way they were. Somebody had to take a step, and so far at least Justin was trying. He opened his eyes and gave Justin a hard look. "Okay," he said, and he could see the relief wash over Justin's face. "I was going to go to the park right now. Would you, like to come with me?" Justin nodded. "Sounds good." ~*~ Justin stared at his feet as he shuffled along beside JC. They had walked to the nearest park and had been walking around in silence for ... Justin looked at his watch ... twenty minutes now. He stopped moving, grabbing JC's arm to stop him. "We need to talk," he said, and JC sighed, slipping off his headphones. "What about?" Justin shook his head. "Don't be like this Jace. I'm sorry, I-" "You're sorry?" JC asked incredulously. "You're sorry?" His voice raised in volume each time his spoke. "What the fuck does that mean? Sorry for what? For claiming credit for a song I put my fucking heart and soul into? For lying to Lance? For lying to me? What?" Justin shrugged, making hesitant eye contact with JC. "I dunno. All of it, I guess." "Fuck you," JC said. "I knew this was a bad idea. I'm not ready to talk about this yet. You're only here because of Lance anyway." Justin looked at him, his face expressionless but his eyes quizzical. "How do you know that?" he asked. "Because he called me," JC said, and Justin caught the touch of bitterness in his voice. "Called me up way too damn early in the morning, wanting to know what happened, why I punched you and ran out." Justin nodded. "Did you tell him?" JC sighed, shaking his head. "No." "Why not?" JC rolled his eyes and without thinking said, "Because then I would have to tell him I lo-" His eyes widened as he realized what he was about to say, and he rushed to think of a quick cover-up. "I, uh, I mean ... shit, I, that I..." "Like him?" whispered Justin softly, and JC's eyes widened. Taking a step closer to the other man, Justin made eye contact with JC. "You like him, don't you?" He asked. "You like him a lot. You might even..." He swallowed thickly. "Might even..." "Love him," JC whispered, not meeting Justin's eyes. Justin felt his heart break at JC's words. Sure, he had his suspicions, but hearing it straight from the source cut like a knife. Looking back at JC, he noticed how pale the older man looked and the brief flashes of fear that showed on his face. "JC?" Though his tone held no malice in it, JC still flinched when Justin said his name. He tightened his hold on his bag and turned around. "I have to go," he said quickly. "I need to leave. Now. I can't stay here and talk about this. I won't." It took a minute for Justin to realize that JC was leaving, and he chased him down, grabbing him by the elbow. "JC, stop!" he said. "We need to talk." JC whirled around, backing away from Justin and shaking his head. "No, we don't," he said. "This is insane. It's stupid, and hopeless either way, so lets just drop it." "But Jace-" "I didn't ask for this Justin!" JC yelled, and Justin stared at him. "I didn't ask for any of this! All I wanted was a fucking record deal. I wanted to put out an album, and maybe get a few of my songs played on the radio. That's it! I didn't ask to be lied to, cheated, or to fall in love. It's too much!" He fisted his hands in his hair and tugged as his voice got quieter. "It's too much." Justin nodded his head, agreeing but not knowing what to say. "Shit happens," he said. "Nobody asks for it, it just ... happens. Life's a real bitch sometimes." JC nodded, sitting down on a nearby bench and burying his face in his hands. Justin sat beside him, staring at the ground. They were quiet again for the longest time, before JC spoke up. "How did you know?" he asked, staring at the ground. Justin waited for him to say more, and even though he didn't, he was pretty sure he knew what he meant. "I don't know," he sighed. "I just ... saw things. Little things I used to do when I first met Lance." He smiled at the memory. "He's a great guy. You can't help but love him." Justin caught the way JC nodded slightly his head. Sighing, he spoke up again. "I guess you won't be coming back to work at the studio again, will you?" JC was silent for a while, but before Justin could repeat the question he shook his head. "I can't," he said, looking at Justin. "It would just be too hard. I know that's a shitty excuse but it's true. Once the trust bond is broken, it doesn't heal easily. Especially with me." He sighed. "Every time I write a song I'll be wondering in the back of my mind if maybe you'll try and claim it as yours, and every time you bring Lance by or whatever you'll be wondering if you can leave me alone with him. It just wouldn't work." "Lance and I broke up," Justin said softly, meeting JC's eyes. He could see the shock written on his face and forced a small smile. "He hasn't actually come out and said it yet, but I can tell. It's over." JC shook his head. "I'm sorry." Justin looked at him, and after a while he knew he meant it. Justin shrugged. "He's still my best friend, but I all ready miss being *with* him. It hurts like hell," he sighed, "but I guess some things just weren't meant to be." JC nodded sadly. "Yeah, I know what you mean." ~*~ JC stopped in front of his apartment door, fingering the chain of keys in his hand. Justin shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his feet. "So," he said, laughing quietly, and JC smiled. Meeting the other man's eyes, Justin sighed. "I'm sorry," he said, and that was it. JC nodded. "I know." When Justin turned around to leave, JC sighed and called out to him. "Hey!" When Justin turned around, JC gave him a smile. "Maybe sometime we could, I don't know, have lunch or whatever. Catch up on things. I think we could both use a little space right now, but..." He shrugged. "Who knows how we'll be a month from now." Justin shot him a crooked grin. "It's a date," he grinned, and JC rolled his eyes. "Better make it two months," he said, and Justin laughed. "Good-bye Jace," he said, waving as he walked. "Later Justin," JC said, sighing quietly as he entered his empty apartment. "Later." |